How much do you actually receive? CMS

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Just a quick question for those who receive maintenance via the CMS. Husband pays £455 p/m via collect and pay (ex decided she wanted more than what was previously agreed, claiming DD doesn't stay with us more than one a week), but insists she only receives £300 off them and they keep the rest. Which leads her to ask for more money. DSD stays with us 3 times a week, 3 weeks of the month. So, is this accurate? Based on what I can see it's not but I can absolutely be wrong.

Thank you

@InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom

She claimed he had never paid maintenance. That is why they allowed her to go straight through collect and pay. They also requested he paid back payments, he rang and informed them he had proof of payments via bank statements. He provided the proof and so the backdating was quashed and he didn't have to pay, something he later paid for when her mum found out and skipped all DD bedroom furniture and requested he buy new because his daughter shouldn't have to sleep on the floor in her house, so he paid for that. She then broke her new tv and kicked off because he wouldn't replace it.

We have these costs on top of her staying with us more than what her mum declares, as well as paying for everything else. She had already put in for collect and pay and so they went with it. The issue is not having DD, I've been in her life longer than out of it. It's the fact that so much of it doesn't even go to her.

Her dad provides everything he can but we are constantly being asked for more money, because she says she doesn't receive the full amount of CM. Financially it's starting to cripple us but we are the bad guys. I have a son and I hope the world is kinder towards dads by the time he grows up. Not all dads are awful. I had a dreadful dad. My husband is not one.

@Doubledded123 I currently don't have anything for my son either. His dad works cash in hand.

It's odd that he provided proof of previous payment and CMS were sufficiently convinced to quash the demand for back payments but still kept your DH on collect and pay.
If you are keeping a record of dates you have your stepdaughter your DH should at least call CMS and get the ball rolling.
Sounds like you just want to moan about his ex. That's fine, but don't dress it up as questions about CMS then ignore the advice you get.

Collect and pay is very hard to get. Unless the paying parent opts for it. Which my ex accidentally did, when he first applied for it. He first called me and said we can't come to an agreement on how much I should be paying for the kids, so I will call cm. I just said OK.

So he called them and they said he had requested Collect and pay, but it will be better for him to do dd. They needed both our agreement to change it from Collect and pay to direct pay. I threw him a bone as I really didn't know exactly what he was earning and London rent is very expensive.

I was tired of discussing finances with him (from our time together). So I was very happy with cm deciding what I should get for the dc. I was reassured that if ex stops paying or starts paying late, I could request a change to Collect and pay. I justed need to prove that he paid late or not a all. They recommend I give him few days grace, in case bank holiday comes or there is a delay at the bank and pays slightly late. It was a recommendation.

Has your husband been late with payment?

DSD lived with us for nearly three years, due to her mum being in a really bad relationship. Husband paid no maintenance in that time, as she lived with us. He then set up a direct debit when mum wanted her back after she got herself in a better situation. She used all this when making an application. CMS don't contact the collecting parents to ask about this. She failed to inform them that he'd paid for a couple of years before that via direct debit. From informing him that she was going through CMS to the payment being taken, the whole process took just over 3 weeks, as she had his work details etc.

@OhamIreally seems like you need to read the drip feed where I have stated I'd pass on advice. Unfortunately it's not moaning, this is our day to day life. I can't flower up the reality of it.

@Shushquite never missed a payment ever. He also didn't claim anything when she lived with us.

He's spoken to CMS today, and discussed his options to avoid extra charges, as he has been asked to send in the proof of the extra £200-£300 a month on top he his currently being asked for most months, on top of the £455 a month he sends via CMS.

I'm grateful for the support from this thread and the advice offered from many of you.

Really hope some of the other people don't have children who grow up and find themselves in this position. Obviously being male and a step parent instantly implies they are bad people, who should be drained of every penny they work for.

But CMS do contact the other parent. I reported a change of overnights and CMS very quickly contacted the other parent to confirm this. Your partner should have had contact from CMS.