School Issue

[PennyLane12345]

My kids school just sucks and always has. I have had consistent issues with them for years. Anyway I had a big blow up a few weeks ago when one of my kids (10 years old) ran away from the principal. He ran to my office crying (my office is close to the school) the principal chased him there. It was a whole big issue. But anyway this week, my son and his best friend got in a fight with each other sounded like they were just annoyed with each other and lashed out. My son ended up in trouble not the other kid. Anyway he went to the office and he then ended up in a negative interaction with the Vice Principal. The school called me and all they said was he was in a fight and yelled at the VP, come get him.

My kid describes the situation to me stating, the VP took him inside the school without saying anything and just left him there. She then came back later and said "your suspended for a long time" and he said after she said this he said "i don't want to go to this stupid school anyway" and he basically lost it. Honestly he was having a shitty day, his dad didn't pick him up for his parenting time. But either way, it spiralled and he said as he was talking rudely to the VP she sat there staring at him and smiling which made him even more mad. I am wondering if I should bring this up to her? This is the second issue with her this year as in September he came home with his friends who said the VP told them not to spend time with him anymore as he is a "bad kid".

I had a similar situation with my oldest when he was 10, she threatened to suspend him and he ended up crying and hiding in the library and I had to go pick him up. There is a lack of skills in the school and my kids are normal functioning kids. Im sensing overall lack of care, lack of skills etc.. this school has major issues with even the normal well rounded kids getting in fights or misbehaving, and negative interactions between teachers and students all the time. I want to advocate but not sure how to do that without coming off as dissolving responsibilty from my kids. I discipline them for their behavior at school but the school has some work to do as well.

It sounds like you have no confidence in the school, so I'd move him to a new school.

But, honestly, running away from school, fighting, and then "loosing it" at a member of staff isn't painting your child as a perfect pupil.

You need to back the school every single time, regardless of whether you agree with them or not. Undermining them will just result in inconsistent messages for your child and poor behaviour as a result. If you're that unhappy, move him, but as per pp, from the examples you've given it sounds like he is definitely part of the problem so you may find the same challenges whichever school he goes to.

You need to look into a new school if you don’t trust them to look after your children.

I discipline them for their behavior at school but the school has some work to do as well.

What do you mean by this? The school is doing something. For a start, they are having to chase around after your child (which they have to do, because it's a safeguarding if a kid just absconds from school).

You only have your child's word about what the principal said and did. Teenagers who are in trouble at school are not always the most reliable of reporters. You need to ask the school what they did if you want to get to the bottom of this.

You say your kids are normal, functioning kids, but fighting, then running away from the principal, absconding from school and shouting rudely at teachers is not normal functioning behaviour.