Signs of highly sensitive child or something else

[Jean24]

I have a 3 year old boy that as a baby was very fussy and very hard to settle pretty much all day everyday even after trying all the usual things. The fussiness carried on until he was about 18 months then the ‘terrible twos’ happened. He has always been extremely attached to myself mainly but also to my husband. He pretty much didn’t even acknowledge anyone else until he was about two! Even if they tried to play or hold him he would cry and want us again. Separation is really difficult for him even with trusted family members that he sees regularly. Very sensitive little boy with big emotions, he’s always hated loud noises (mainly tools, fire alarms and hand dryers) even other children being too loud he struggled with. We brought this up to our health visitor and basically have been told it’s all normal and he will grow out of it. He struggles with a lot of worries, sleep, food, change in routine, withholding going to the toilet, other children being too close to him unless he knows them really really well. And at the moment even going out of the house, he just says he wants to stay home pretty much all of the time. It’s hard to put all of the concerns we have on here but just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same thing? His emotions are very different to what we see with family and friends children. As a young toddler we could never work out why he was always screaming and crying out of no where! Just stood in a park and he would be having a full meltdown and we had no idea why. Nursery have said to us a few times about him holding his ears if it’s noisy and the fact he is constantly asking when we are picking him up. We’ve always said he is very ‘sensory’ but not sure if we need to be pushing for more help as the health visitor made us feel a bit stupid like we were making it up. Just wondering if anyone has anything similar in their family?

Just to add I know it’s a lot of concerns but he was also slower to roll,crawl and to stand. But within ‘normal’ for walking and talking. Makes eye contact and can point wave etc he used to be obsessed with anything that would spin (not so much now) he would try to spin everything basically. Which I’ve heard can just be part of learning and he would rock back and forward a lot as a baby too but also might be part of being a baby. He’s very polite and very sweet and almost sometimes reminds us of a little old man with some of the things he says! We’ve tried to carry on like we aren’t concerned but now and then we both say we are sure there’s more to it. Thanks in advance

‘Highly sensitive child’ isn’t really a ‘condition’, just a description. Your child might or might not be neurodivergent, but it sounds like nursery are perhaps raising some concerns around sensory behaviours usually associated with autism.

I would go to the GP and raise your concerns before your DS starts school. I ignored a few signs with DS1 and he was diagnosed at 7 (he’s now nearly 12 and absolutely loving life!).

Hi - I don't have any advice but just wanted to jump on as I have a very similar little boy who is 2. I felt quite surprised reading your post as they are so similar! He has generally always seemed more sensitive and anxious compared to other children, even as a small baby (although I know you shouldn't compare) - generally fussy, struggles being out of the house, hates loud or unexplained noises, scared of other children, slightly 'late' to all milestones but not worryingly so. Basically everything you have said!

I actually have his regular health visitor check next week and was going to mention a few things. Depending on how it goes as he gets older I would consider mentioning it to the GP to see what they say. I think it probably depends how much it affects his life - of course it's okay to be a sensitive boy, but if I felt it was affecting him socially or his development I would want more advice. I do find it frustrating often however that there is a 'wait and see' attitude with HV and others, but they also say that early intervention is key!

Sorry, maybe not helpful but just wanted to let you know about other sensitive little boys!