Tips for 15.5 month old sleep training

[wildfyre]

So, my son is still fed to sleep. That's every nap and also through the night. He usually wakes 1-4 times in the night, and sometimes I'm in there for hours because he wakes up as soon as I put him back down again.

He's in his own room (as of two months ago) and sleeps in two piece pyjamas and a sleepsack. It's always dark when he's sleeping/about to sleep and he doesn't use any noise, a cuddly toy or a nightlight (we've tried them all but none seem to help).

I tried maybe a week of sleep training a month or two ago but it didn't really work out. I was trying to just go with pick up, put down, but that quickly turned into tummy rub until he falls asleep. It didn't really feel like sleep training considering I was still the one getting him to sleep, if that makes sense. And I know I only tried for a week, but it went horrendously down hill after the first two days and I just wasn't getting any sleep, and he started to avoid his midday naps because of it.

I just don't really know what to do next. I haven't found any sleep training guides that cover the bit where I can't even put my son down in the cot awake because he'll scream if I haven't fed him to sleep. Our health visitor is lovely, but even she's just sort of said "You're his mum, so you know what's best for him". It's just frustrating that I haven't had a full night's sleep in 16 months.

Many thanks to anyone who can help! And thank you for reading my rant!

Sorry Op no tips unfortunately, but just some solidarity in my 19 month old still being fed to sleep, and also has never once slept through. We’ve been cosleeping now since he was 11 months old as I couldn’t cope with the night wakes and feedings. We’re still on 1-4 feeds a night too. It’s so hard, and the sleepless nights are absolutely exhausting. We’ve never tried sleep training as it doesn’t seem like it would work on DS. You are not alone!

Does he have a teddy he likes? Or a favourite character from book or tv that you could buy him as a soft toy?

If so get teddy and sleep with him yourself for a few nights. Get teddy inside your top as much as you can so he smells of you. Include teddy in everything you do for a few days. He can eat breakfast with you both, go out on trips, play with teddy, involve him in games, talk to teddy, feed teddy, give teddy sips of water from a sippy cup, sit teddy on your lap with him for bedtime stories. Talk to him the way you talk to your son.

Then one night explain to your son that boobies are finished in the night now. Feed him for bedtime and put him to bed as usual with teddy. When you give him a kiss and cuddle, do the same for teddy and tuck them in together.

When he wakes in the night go in and put a soft lamp on. Pick up teddy, not your son, and talk to teddy. Say "remember teddy, milk is finished at night now but look I have a cup of water for you" and pretend to give him some. Then teddy can be all happy and get a lovely cuddle and tucked back in. Much praise for teddy. Do this even if your son is crying standing up in the cot. He will be watching and taking it in. Full attention on teddy, big smiles and love for teddy having his water and going back to sleep.

This is what I did for my son around the same age as yours and he was so interested in teddy getting this that he wanted the same. He accepted water in the night instead and soon stopped waking. Yes there may well be some tears but console teddy first with much kissing and cuddling and praise for teddy drinking water and then do the same for your son. Act it out like they're in it together. He needs a little comfort pal in bed with him who smells like mum and is in the same boat as him. Toddlers really benefit from seeing their little feelings and struggles externalised like that. If he needs back rubs for a bit that's ok. My son liked his head stroked and teddy would get the same. Tackle the milk first and that will lessen in time too.

I personally would add some soft lullaby music as well from something like the Yoto player but that's just my preference. My son likes that through the night. When he stirs he hears the music and drifts back off.

Yes, send dad in for cuddles and comfort if you know he's fed/not in pain. Once he calms him, he can put him down, say goodnight, leave the room. If he cries, dad goes in again after 5 minutes. This will probably take at least 30 minutes for several days.

He isn't going to respond to PUPD if he can smell your milk. They're like little bloodhounds.

For what it's worth I still boob my 17 month old to a sleepy stupor. I have a dim light on and when I can see he's half asleep I ask if he's ready to go in his cot. Sometimes he will shake his head, normally he responds positively. In the beginning he didn't really at all, so I would just put him in.

His dad can get him to nap/sleep but it takes him a lot longer and lots of cuddles.

It's really tough, but you will get there.