What is your kids dad like?

[Anonnii]

Silly but just wondering. After such. Struggle with my DH he is better but I still do the bulk of parenting. He works long hours is chief earner etc. my work is more flexible. So I get why more falls to me

hes not good with the baby stage. We’ve had 2 and my fucking goodness how did I cope? He was dreadful. I nearly left him.

I just felt slightly triggered and call me silly. We have a 3 yo and 1 yo and at nursery there’s a kid in my eldests’ class and his dad comes every certain day of the week for pickup and I tried to change my times to avoid him but still arrive similar / same as him. He is so fantastic with his kid from the snippet I see and you can see his kids totally melted him. I love it. Again I only see a snippet. He could be shire at home

but I just wondered? I don’t know I wish DH was more emotional. Overall but with the kids mainly.

Complete narcassistic , horrible evil man. He showed his true colours when he had affair with a girl same age as our eldest daughter (21) and made me homeless with 4 kids so he cud move his bimbo in. He is 49 and sge is now 24. Pair of them deserve each other. He uses kids to try and hurt me which is so wrong ! He is awful

Oh and i raised all 4 kids alone as he is a farmer and worked 7 days a week. I did EVERYTHING ALONE. 23 years wasted with this piece of shit ! Wish my eldest 2 knew the truth and what a piece of shit he is and his family. The kids believe his lies and his familys lies. One day they will learn the truth but for now i keep a dignified silence. It hurts me so much how my eldest 2 believe his lies as they really dont know half what him, the bimbo and his family have done to me.

I think it can be hard, seeing that rose tinted view of someone, and imagining they’re like that all the time. Perhaps they are, but we never know what happens behind closed doors. My mum used to say comparison is the thief of joy and it’s probably very true.

That being said, it’s fucking hard enough being the ‘default’ parent when the other is rarely around without feeling he’s not ‘on the ball’ when he is!My husband works hideous hours, in agriculture so as above, six/seven days a week, late home, early leaving… it’s a bit shit sometimes! But he’s such a good man, and a fantastic father. He adores us, and he never makes me feel like I should be doing any more than I am, or that I’m missing anything if that makes sense? I feel thoroughly appreciated and deeply loved by him, and that goes both ways… anything less and I can’t see how our marriage would work.

But I, too, do sometimes look at those dads doing ‘normal’ hours, collecting their kids at school pick up and have a little wistful sigh!

Pretty good, he worked long hours, sole earner. Did nights, nappy changes, feeding etc. used to take her out for a few hours Saturday mornings so I could get some rest before she had started nursery. Now he tries to leave work early if he can to see her do her hobbies. He’s stretched for time but makes sure he does her school reading with her, checks school emails, always does bedtimes unless he’s travelling for work. Lets her “teach” him ballet. Just all round good dad.

We did have her late and he was the one who wanted to have children, I was on the fence tbh. He’s got a strong sense of duty though, mainly though he just loves her more than he loves himself (most likely more than he loves me too). He’s actually an extremely impatient person but has all the time on the world for her. My own dad was shit so I feel like it’s such a gift for her (and for me to watch).

Honestly though having a child is such a big change that you can never really predict how people react. I was a much less natural parent than I thought I would be (he was surprised and disappointed I think by how much I struggled initially) and he was so much more than I expected (I did expect him to be a good dad though).

Dead

Also people seeing me from the outside would have had no idea how much I struggled.

Lazy, abusive and boring.

Mostly absent, clueless about their day to day lives and the provider of zero financial support.

Luckily their stepdads is very different!

Basically he's a human version of Bandit but more competent.

Stepdad! I've not married several new men 😂

Horrible and absent

My husband is a fantastic Dad. He says it's his job to look after me and our son. He does exactly that regardless if it's buying me flowers twice a month or helping son with his maths homework or whizzing the hoover around the lounge. I am lucky, my ex was the opposite as a partner, he couldn't be bothered with his two sons.

He’s brilliant, I can’t think of a thing I’d change. But it feels a bit shit to detail his qualities when your own experience has been difficult.

Yeah he’s lazy as fuck my DH. When I spoke about nights he said “it’s a mums job” and in the past plenty of things have been labelled as a mums job which has pissed me off

Hes half there but I don’t know I worry he doesn’t have the emotional maturity to be very hands on

Feel the same. My kids think their dad can fix/solve absolutely anything and he makes them feel absolutely safe and loved, which is how my DF was.

I’m so sorry for anyone who doesn’t have the same.

Amazing tbh. Like exactly what an equal parent should be. I do more of certain things (the typical 'mental load' stuff like buying clothes, uniform, remembering dates of parties, buying presents and stuff like that) and am currently on mat leave so obviously do more parenting. But things like bedtimes, bathtime, nursery drop offs are shared pretty evenly. He's very involved in their development, cares about clubs etc and every big decision we make to do with the kids is something we've discussed, it's not all left to me.

Not to jinx things, but he's pretty much the best for our family.
Our dc are grown now, and we have dgc, amazing with them too.
Patient, involved, learned the name of all the friends, did his share of carpools, birthday parties, organized after school clubs, handled the rough stuff like a champ, still has a great relationship with them as adults
I recognize just how lucky I am

Honestly my DH is an amazing dad but, unfortunately, I think he's the minority. He always puts us first and I won't go on about how great he is but honestly I feel incredibly lucky and that we are a team so it is possible; there are good ones out there.

An utterly vile human being who couldn't give a shit about DD. She hates him.

We broke up 11 year's ago. Now we are co parenting. If I am ill he will look after our sons. He struggles with the emotional side of teenagers but he is always there when they need him

Absent unless it's an occasion to get a photo for Facebook to show his followers what a great dad he is. That's for our eldest. Our youngest he couldn't care less about, at all.

My husband is a lovely dad to our kids. He isn’t perfect, no one is. He has a quicker temper than me and gets more frustrated. He’s also a typical only child so can be very stubborn and unfortunately they’ve inherited this so often there are stand offs! But he’s fun, they adore him and know the love is unconditional. He is incredibly present- never missed a sports day, school show etc (which is a godsend as sadly I often do as shift worker). He works hard and is very intelligent and loves teaching them things. We are lucky but I also prioritised good future dad when considering a partner as I knew I wanted a family!

I felt a bit blinds sided after having my kids. Felt like he was all talk and I believed him and now we’re here 2 young kids and he’s just shit. I actually feel sad sometimes I gave my kids the dad they have but also don’t regret it as I don’t regret an aspect of my kids and an aspect of them is the sperm donor. Lol

If my dh had come out with anything as ridiculous as that, I wouldn't have had a 2nd child with him.

He was (well is) an excellent parent. Certainly better than me when they were tiny. Once I had dc2 I was lucky enough to be able to work PT, so yes, I did more with the dc from then on, as he was out of the house far more hours than I was.
I don't want to make out he was / is perfect - which of us are? I know I certainly wasn't / aren't, but he was / is absolutely an equal parent, even though we do tend to both play to our strengths and give each other a pass for any bits either of us might not enjoy.