What would you think if you were at someones house and saw a lock on the outside of a child's bedroom door?

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Funny you should start this thread, we are thinking of doing this because ds2 (21m) will be going into a proper bed soon and we are thinking of putting a bolt on the otside of dd's door to kkeep him out.

What are hook and eye locks?

we had one on the outside of my sons door, as he had a hornby train track all set up and the toddler would go in a ram the trains up and down like they were his chunky thomas the tank ones!

It was high enough for DS to lock it on his way out but too high for the 2 year old to get to.

I have to say, it also made me wonder what people thought though!!

damn I didn't think about putting it low enough for ds1 to shut. We have the hornby problem too.

www.childalert.co.uk/shop/locks.asp

top cabin lock is what I mean by hook and eye

Ours was like that long brass hook thingy that drops into a hoop, you could even arrange it to have a gap, so the door is ajar.

Originally had the idea from when the first baby was born and we had cats and were frightened by the horror stories of cats getting to the cots and smothering babies.

We could see the baby but the cats couldn't get in!!

This is what initially came to mind but it was an extreme & unusual case and probably why I recalled it:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/northamptonshire/4666062.stm

I wouldn't personally like locks on the outside of doors but there have been some interesting points raised in favour of them.

What a tragic story Heated. It certainly does bring home the dangers of having them.

Our children were not locked in, and in this case, the 2 year old was in there with a box of matches. Very sad reading.

I grew up in south africa. there all rooms in all houses have lockks, proper built-in ones with keys, so that you can, if you so choose, lock doors in the house to prevent burglers from getting in (crime rate extremely high). all windows also have burgler bars...

you shouldn't lock any room in your house, children can understand rules at some point

When I was around 13, my mum started to foster kids who had been abused by their parents, our house was the 1st port of call after the police and social services took them from their homes. Most were girls, but eventually when I was 14 we fostered a boy of 15 years. One day my mum said it was about time that I could have some extra independance, and I could have a lock on outside of bedroom door (not on inside, she worried about fires etc) But so I could lock my room when I went out.
A few months later, police had to remove him from our house due to violence against my mum.
I was helping to pack up his things when I found 3 pairs of my knickers in his bedside drawer, with unmistakable stains.
I felt disgusted and sick, and it suddenly dawned on me why the lock was on my door
So please dont judge too quickly or harshly when you have no idea what the circumstances are.

"you shouldn't lock any room in your house, children can understand rules at some point"

er no some can't - that's the point. Everyone I know who lives in a fortress house like mine doesn't do it because they want to they do it because they have children who have no concept of danger.

I have 3 friends with children who have 'escaped' because a door lock was left unlocked briefly. One took about half an hour to find, one about 2 hours and the other 4 hours. In all cases police had to be called, and the situation was very serious - these children (ranging in age from 8 to 12) were at high risk of accidental death whilst lost.

Dd1 has a lock on the outside of her door, right at the top (cabin lock)

Father Christmas put in there on Christmas Eve to stop her going into her bedroom when he had bought her a princess bed and done up her room for her for Christmas

TBH i've often wondered what crosses other peoples mind when they see it too (we are selling the house)

So why is a cabin lock better than a little brass bolt?

We are planning to put some sort of lock on DTDs door to keep DD3 out.

It will only be used when the room is empty.

I had a door lock (simple hook) on our bedroom door when ds was a baby so that I could go to the loo/answer the phone/open the door to callers without big sister injuring him; she went through a period of intense jealousy. It's still there, in fact. Wouldn't have taken two seconds for me to open in an emergency, but too high for her to reach. Not much cop in waiting for the "point" when she could have understood rules- he might have been dead by then.

(Or, more exactly, the point where she not only understood the rule, but accepted it.)

I think the basic answer is that most parents who do use locks do so because they prefer a relatively low risk (that a fire may one day break out) to a much higher risk (that an SN child will almost certainly escape or a jealous child will quite likely attack the baby). Or for protection of property in their owner's absence. I used to lock the computer room when ds was a toddler.

The case quoted by Heated was indeed extreme and unusual: who in their right senses would lock a 2-yo in a room with a baby and a box of matches?

a cabin lock was easier to put on. The door is totally warped and would shut in a flush way to be able to put a bolt on it.

am not sure a baby could understand the rule don't put the lego in your mouth!

our doors upstairs all have bolts at the top of them. We don't use them and they were there when we moved in. We're renting so we've just left them there. I assumed a previous tenant was paranoid about someone breaking in through the window so planned to trap an intruder in a bedroom!

we have cabin locks on all bedroom doors

put them up when decorating but the teenagers use them to stop the toddlers going in now - fair enough

what's a cabin lock?

I thikn there are lots of situations where a lock is okay! Our doors are 1930s style so when closed my DD can't open hers anyway.

I guess I might be curious...

We had hook style locks at our old house to stop the cats from breaking into bedrooms as the doors were the rollor balls style, that when they threw themselves at the door they opened! Didn't want them going in with little un, so use these locks. Figured they would be easy to open in event of fire, as one mighty kick (or lift off of hook) the door would be opened.

I worry more about the proper locks on doors, because of fire risk etc, at being able to open quickly.

we were advised to loch ds1 in his room but decided against it

we have a read relay alarm on the outside of his door instead

I've got 2 autistic children and until recently we had locks on every door. We always used to call our house Fort Knox!

I'd think you had a DS like mine

We deliberately put a lock on our bedroom door so I could leave DD2 asleep in her cot in our roon while I had a shower and DD1 wouldn't be able to go in and hassle her. Lock v small and easy to kick the door in if necessary.

it has never occurred that people might think there was malicious intent behind it!

Regarding the idea that having a small lock on the outside of a door is somehow dangerous if there is a fire...

I believe most young children, if frightened in this sort of situation, tend to "hide" under a bed or in a cupboard etc. A firefighter friend of mine has experience of this sad fact.

So, having a small, easily mashed lock will make no difference to a rescue operation if there are responsible adults around. The same reasoning is applied to babies in cots. You wouldn't EXPECT a young child to evacuate THEMSELVES would you? I believe it is only the same as a stairgate over a door and no-one bats an eyelid at that.

We used a small, flimsy bolt on DS's door when we first moved him out of a cot (as a last resort). He WOULD NOT STAY in his bed. He would wander around at night and we have very steep stairs. I preferred this to finding my child with a bashed-in head.

After a few weeks, we found that just the THREAT of the lock was enough and the need for it was no longer there.