Worried if I should see the GP about toilet training

[Aliciainwunderland]

DS is 3.5 and I would say mostly toilet trained. Training was over 6 months ago and I would say it went pretty much as standard. Certainly with wees he picked it all up very quickly and doesn’t have any wee accidents.

the problem has been with poos. I would say even after 4 months he was pretty much never pooing in the potty. Now it is much better at home as I tend to notice the signs and I stick him on the toilet. I would say in about 50% of cases he tells me he needs a poo, 50% I notice the signs and We go off to the toilet. nursery seems much worse - they have said he often just doesn’t make it in time as the toilet is often too far away if he’s out playing in the garden.

the ‘signs’ i notice are that he’ll stop what he is doing and go very still. Thats when I know it’s time to get him to the toilet.

he also seems to only poo about once every 2/3 days. He doesn’t seem to be in any pain. He has a good and varied diet.

it’s been so long I’m starting to think I need to see the gp. The reason I left it so long is that there does seem to be improvement- just very very slowly!

any advice welcome!

Don't think a GP would have anything to add. If he's not uncomortable it's not a medical issue.

Two of my kids took a while to get poo sorted - nearly a year. They did get there though. My theory is that just get an awful lot less practice than with wees so it can take longer for them to get used to the signs.

I'm not sure a GP can help at this stage but I would contact your Health Visitor - this is exactly what their role is.

He’s very young still , as a parent of 2 much older kids who had years of continence issues, the thing that I would highlight is if he’s only pooing every 2-3 days, the poos may get quite big and cause a negative association with going to the loo or make accidents more likely . ideally if you can try some dietary tweaks ( try prunes/ prune juice or fruit and veg smoothies) and abdominal massage to get him pooing more regularly he may find it easier.

Did the frequency of his bowel movements change or did he only have a dirty nappy every 2/3 days pre toilet training?

Nursery won't be able to watch him as closely as you can to see those signs. That is too late really - when he goes still he is already starting to push the poo out. You should be aiming to get him to the toilet before he does that (with the end goal being that he gets himself to the toilet before that happens).

With this and going every 2-3 days I'd guess he's waiting until he absolutely can't hold it any more.

Does it tend to happen at a particular time? Taking him to the toilet at that time and encouraging him to push should help. Then once he's used to going to the toilet, you can try encouraging him to go every day.

If it's not happening at a specific time, try giving him a warm bath and putting him on the potty after that - or any time you notice a lot of farting/smelly farts, he probably has a poo ready to go.

I know it's not fashionable any more but a sticker chart is a great short term motivation.

If he only goes every 2 - 3 days, he's really not getting much experience in getting them in the right place. My nearly three-year-old goes twice a day, and it was still an ordeal that took quite a long time, and we're still not anywhere near perfect. Wees have been spot on for quite a while, but poos are harder.

Are nursery aware of his cues? They can really help to reinforce the message.

I don't think a doctor or a HV could do anything now, really, it's not really late, he's not showing signs of discomfort, it seems pretty normal, albeit admittedly annoying.

I don’t think any of that sounds unusual. It’s just harder at nursery and frankly they (I mean the staff) can’t give that one-to-one attention. Just keep doing what you’re doing. The GP won’t be interested or be able to add anything helpful.

Have a read on ERIC

https://eric.org.uk/

Thank you! This is all really useful information.

he has never gone too regularly but used to be once a day/ every two days before training so that has made me think. Will try some dietary changes. I have tried smoothies but he hasn’t been into him so will try get some prunes in him one way or another!

health visitors have been useless in my experience. I stopped calling a couple of years ago after being quite frankly utterly patronising and I felt like I needed to apologise for calling them and wasting their time.

thanks for the Eric website - I hadn’t heard of that!

Get the poo goes to pooland app it’s free and very silly but it’s worked on at least 4 children I know including my ds

Thanks - havnt heard of the app but have a book about poo going to poo land! Luckily he loves talking about poo 😂😂

Just wanted to come back again to say thank you for everyone who answered but also in case it helps anyone who finds this thread.

so after potty training in march… in December DC finally started consistently saying he needed a poo and going to the toilet. Whilst I’m a bit shocked it took that long - I guess it really was a case of he needed more time.

i did end up contacting the GP and had a phone appointment. She recommended the ERIC website - so thanks again to the poster who sent that and she said that would normally be the first port of call to keep a record of how often. Was due to have a follow up appointment but ended up cancelling due to illness but luckily seems we are progressing for now!