playgroup and 13 month old

[Mumtobe202310]

Hi All,

My LO will be 13 months in a few days and I have recently been taking him to playgroup (found one that I like thank God as the people are so lovely).

Few weeks ago I took him to a baby sensory one and he was living it, he did want another baby's toy bless him and kept taking it and the mother was nice and gave it to him. I was apologising of course. And then a baby girl around 6 months came near him and he was reaching for her hair and I was scared and took him away but then he went next to her and nicely touched her cheek. And then the girl after a while came near him and bless him he actually went and tried to kiss on her mouth😭😂 but everyone laughed it off as its cute.

I have since been taking him regularly. Last week I took him messy play and he took another child's toy and I was like no, here you go and offered another but he wanted that childs one so the mum gave it. I said sorry and thank you.

Today I took him again, he was so sweet to the only. other baby there who was a 6 months old girl, I kept taking him away from her scared he will hit her but he was being gentle and touched her nicely like a light tap on her chest and was smiling at her it was so sweet. Then I was like okay and let him go near her and then the 3rd time he didn't hit her per se but he kind of put his whole hand on her face rough tap kind of way and I immediately moved him and the mother was like noo, but I'm a sweet way and I was like I'm so sorry, and stroked the girls cheek and said sorry to her too. The girl was smiling at is still bless. But yeah, now I'm just scared to take him. It's just him and me majority of the day together. We hardly see others.

Is this normal for toddlers to do?

Just wait until you have a 2/ 3 year old and they hit and push each other with real force and scream “Nnnnooooo” and “Mmmiiiinnneeeee” in each others face. And climb over each other to get down the slide first. And bop babies on the head with plastic hammers. And snatch toys and run off laughing. Then you will look back at this time and laugh!!

(all behaviours that happened at my toddler playgroup last week. And all completely normal, they are learning how to interact with others, that’s what playgroup is for)

Don't be scared to take him, this is normal behaviour for his age and much older. The more you take him and keep him social with other children, the more his sharing and turn taking will get better. He will also get more gentle but he doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand that yet. Nothing to worry about, carry on doing as you are.

You're clearly watching him like a hawk and taking him away if you think he's going to be too rough. There's literally no more that you can do than that. You're doing great and so is he!

Keep taking him for sure, this is just what 13 month olds do and you were watching him closely. I used to keep mine away from babies that were much smaller because I didn’t want my 12 month old doing something that was a bit rough to a 3 month old for example. But I would be less worried if they were interacting with someone else their own size.

By that age I was taking my DD to more structured classes which tended to have a smaller age range, so she didn't really encounter much younger babies and everyone else was toddling by then, so they were a bit equal - there would be squabbles but they were on the same level. And the leaders usually had sets of props/toys so each child had one each and they didn't try to take anyone toy. So luckily I didn't encounter many of these issues. I think if you're happy with the group you have, then stick to it, but also look at.other options nearby as different groups are run in different ways which can make these transitions easier.