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Parenting

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Daughter has said she doesn't feel comfortable sleeping at her dad's

5 replies

ConstantMum · 23/10/2024 18:53

After splitting up a while ago but only recently having moved out my daughter now needs to get used to two households. She has said that she feels more comfortable staying with me in our new house than with her dad in the house we all lived in. She says that she misses me when she's at her dad's and doesn't sleep very well and gets scared at night, this obviously pushes all my maternal buttons! For background she has just turned eight, we co-slept until last year (bedtimes have always been difficult for her and these were left to me), she is currently sleeping in her dad's room while at his house, although she is not used to him being around at bedtime (when we lived together he went to an outhouse each evening either before or after daughter went to bed and would stay there until the early hours). Obviously this is all a big change for our daughter, and she needs time to get used it. Ex wants daughter to stay at his three nights this week instead of the two she did last week. I don't think this is a good idea when daughter has said she doesn't feel comfortable sleeping there, I would rather change to one but know ex won't accept this so have suggested keeping it at two for the time being. He does not agree. Any advice welcomed.

OP posts:
HateMyNewJobSoMuch · 23/10/2024 19:00

What is his motivation? Is he trying to keep your daughter 50% of the time for financial savings from child maintenance?

Is he aware if her sleep issues?

If he genuinely has her best interests at heart he should not be pursing this.

alwaysmovingforwards · 23/10/2024 19:01

Think you’ve all got to go through a settling period in the new circumstances you’ve created for her.

Singleandproud · 23/10/2024 19:01

Get her a big pregnancy style pillow to take to dad's and spray it with your perfume, it'll take up the extra space in the bed and she can cuddle up to it.

Do you have a contact order? Stick to that I wouldn't be randomly increasing nights, if he is free as it's half term I might offer another day but say we have plans in the evening.

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Holidaysarecomingocthalfterm · 23/10/2024 19:11

Is she spending all weekends at his? Do you not get any weekend time with her?

Soontobe60 · 23/10/2024 19:15

How is she supposed to get used to not sleeping with you if you actively encourage her to spend less time with her father?
My DD didn’t like sleeping at my new house at first, because it was all so new, but she also struggled to sleep in the firmer home with her dad because she missed me. It soon became the new normal which she embraced.
Separation is hard!

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