Playdate etiquette

[Whentoseekhelp89]

I invited a reception friend of DS(4) for a play date because I felt he needed it, having started at reception with a bunch of kids who already know each other.

I’m now feeling awkward and bad about not inviting his other friends.

1-1 play dates are normal, right? They all hang out in a group together at school.

Completely fine. I once got cocky and invited four friends in reception. It was awful. 1:1 is the best way forward!

Fab. It’s at a playground where a lot of the school kids sometimes go after school. This might make it awkward if they turn up, but also maybe a good thing?

1-1 is normal, but usually at home in my experience. Park is often more of a group thing as lots of parents and kids go to the park. However, I don't think there is an actual rule. They may end up playing in a group if other kids turn up though, so if you're trying to support a particular friendship home can work better

Completely normal. More than one is a party. It’s not his birthday. Totally fine and expected. I think people would think it was a bit weird to have everyone over just for a random day. Invite other friends another time.

1:1 is totally normal at home, I didn’t invite groups round to play until they were about 7 and a bit less work/not likely to destroy the house 😂
Park invite I mostly do as a social thing for me so arrange with the mums I want to hang out with and the kids play whilst we have a coffee or wine from the cafe (depending on the time of day) but if we see anyone else from school they’re obviously to join too, it’s never awkward but probably isn’t the best way to support a particular friendship if that’s your intention!

1:1 quite ok; increasing nos increases the chances of disagreements!

Totally fine and as expected

Totally normal and I think fine to go to the park too. If other friends turn up they can join in too (although it can get a bit awkward if one of the "playdaters" decides that another kid at the park is more fun).

All of this 100%.

Except we do not have the cafe with coffee or wine, sounds fantastic!

I agree that 1:1 play dates at home are lovely, especially from later in Reception and in Year 1 when it really comes from your child who their closest friends are and would like to invite.

Funnily enough though, my DS is in a 3 which really works. I am very happy to have both over. My DS and 1 of the boys can get more mutually energetic and competitive, whereas the other boy is a calming and stabilising influence for both. He is also happy to play with my younger DD, so they kind of form a 4 that works well at the park or our house. I assumed a 3 would be problematic, but theirs really works.