would you leave your 12 week old to go out for 3 hours?

[Ellax]

12 week old is ebf and we haven’t been separated since they’ve been born.

it would be to go out 10 mins away for 3 hours and I’ll give dh a bottle of breast milk.

Would you do it??

TIA ! X

Yes, absolutely.

@Sugargliderwombat

"You've never heard of mums anxious to leave their babies for the first time? No. It's not since the pandemic."

It's only since the noughties that ordinary maternity leave was extended past 18 weeks.

When I had dc1 I never heard of anyone like this.

It's a combination of a change in parenting expectations, social media and post Covid spikes in anxiety.

@unmemorableusername mine were at secondary school when the pandemic hit and I remember plenty of discussions on MN and other parenting forums about when to leave young EBF babies back in the day.

Mine didn’t take a bottle but in that case, I’d have dh just come hang out near me and bring me baby in the middle for a feed.

Not for three hours I wouldn't, no, that's a very long time for a tiny baby.

DH used to take ours round the block for an hour so I could rest, but I wouldn't have been comfortable with three hours. Mine would only feed from me though so I couldn't have left them so long without food.

Surely it's a good thing maternity leave has been extended tho? I think parenting is terrifying. More so because often we are not surrounded by the 'village' so many of us parent alone. I read a piece in the Guardian saying the majority of mothers are on maternity leave and lonely. I also think that as a generation we are possibly more educated about adverse experiences and how early weeks and months are vital. I think possibly this, and the contrasting previous generation's experience potentially creates tension/friction. Eg my MIL didn't bf and constantly referred to me feeding as if I was taking something from her. She constantly asked to 'feed' my child. Her views were so different to mine it was really frustrating. When you think about primates who cling to their mothers for up to 7 years, it's mond boggling how people seem to expect babies to develop independence of their mothers.

Definitely

Tbh even if they don't take a bottle what's going to happen in 3hrs? Surely if you feed before you go you'll probably be back before they need feeding again. They won't starve in 3hrs.

Risk of what?

I had almost no maternity leave as I was self employed so at 12 weeks I was back at work. 😥I had an amazing midwife turned maternity nurse for DD1 who told me to go to Sainsbury's with DH when she was a week old and out for a uick dinner (Pizza Express) a week later. She also bottle fed the baby at night (and I BF in the day) on the rounds that I didn't have the luxury of a baby that wouldn't take a bottle. You can imagine the faces of the mums in my NCT group.....

The distress of a baby that wants its mother and wants to be fed is absolutely awful. That's the worst that can happen. Happened to me and it is stored in my memories. It was awful. My baby had never been away from me, yet 2 hours away and they had been so distressed they ended up hyperventilating for hours afterwards. Might be 6 now, but it really stayed with me how I let them down.

But your experience isn’t universal and a huge amount of basically 3 month old babies can and do go more than 2 hours between feeds quite routinely.

12 week old babies are still very small, and when ebf they typically feed more frequently. The whole 2-3 hour thing reduces babies to feeding schedule machines when breastfeeding is more than food, it's comfort and nurture. Yes my experience is unusual but my baby was a similar age hence urging caution.

YES, had to leave him to return to work, he was 10 weeks old.

Of course!!
It's only 3 hours

Yes - I did and I think if you never leave them & then suddenly need to for any reason when they're a bit older it will be harder for them (& whoever has to look after them!) I actually think there's an issue currently with making women feel guilty for wanting a bit of space away from a baby.

I did bottle feed though so it made it easier. I imagine it would be more of a challenge with an ebf baby.

There are loads of people on MN who insist on breast feeding, co-sleeping, having baby in a sling etc & then complain they can't leave their 8 month old with its Dad & they haven't been out in months.

@Machiavellian

My baby had never been away from me, yet 2 hours away

But OP will be 10 mins up the road so I don't think it's the same situation.

If your baby is used to being on their own with their father and he is used to care for the baby, than yes.

I don't know if this is worth considering but mine would take milk from a sippy cup. They (twins) were born very early before my milk came in. They were in the neonatal unit and the nurses gave them a sippy cup rather than a bottle so there wouldn't be a problem later with trying to establish bf.

Yes, but you might feel happier working up to 3 hours by starting with going out for 1 hour and then 2.