I am a new mum of a 17 month old and I got totally disregulated the other night. My baby was late to sleep (after lots of singing, rocking, breastfeeding and cuddling, throughout which he was fussy) and after 40 minutes he woke up screaming. After checking he wasn't in pain or there was something physically wrong (we'd had a busier than normal day and I think it was maybe too much) I restarted the rocking, cuddling etc. I found myself getting so angry and frustrated and I ended up blurting out "I wish I could just kill you". Which I obviously don't and being dysregulated does not excuse that at all. I'm feeling absolutely awful about it and whilst he understands a lot, I don't think he understood that. I'm feeling horrendous about it, is it "normal" to say something horrible to your baby when you get dysregulated? I'm not asking that to excuse myself or as a way of justifying saying anything like that again (I definitely will not be and will not allow myself to get that dysregulated again), but it would be nice to know that it's not something only horrible people do 😬