Disagree with DH about using nursery instead of PILs

[Saturn8]

I am going back to work after 12 months maternity leave and DH wants to use his parents for childcare (3 days per week). Although some nerves about baby being looked after by strangers, I would prefer to use nursery. PILs previously looked after oldest child for 12 months between my two maternity leaves and were generally ok but would ignore some requests around food/milk/naps. They are also about 67/70 and I think were exhausted by the end, leading up to my second maternity leave. There are also some health concerns plus holidays planned.
Oldest child (3 years old) started nursery about a month ago and is settling in but I suspect would feel left out if he knows his grandparents start looking after the baby (though I'm not comfortable lying to him about it). PILs don't want to look after both kids.
Not in the UK and the cost after subsidy is fairly low so it is not really a financial issue. DH says concern is about strangers looking after the baby. If we cancel the nursery spot now then it could be hard to get again in a few months. I raised it prior to agreeing to have another baby but DH says he doesn't remember this. Any thoughts on how to resolve this?

Can you do two days with nursery one GP? I wouldn't want my baby in nursery that much unless I had concerns, so it depends on what the milk/nap issues were really.

That's way too much childcare to expect from grandparents that age IMO.
If they are able and willing surely they will be invaluable as back up childcare on the days where one or the other is ill and has to stay home? Depending of course if they are prepared for poorly children.

This is an easy one. It would be too difficult for your eldest to go to nursery and see his sibling go off to granny and grandpa’s. Developmentally, a nursery will almost certainly be better unless PILs are particularly engaged grandparents. I know when MIL looks after ours on rare occasion, it’s mostly feeding them sweets and looking at photos on her phone. There are no trips out, no messy play, no forest school, limited interaction. Both of mine were in nursery from 9 & 11 months and it was definitely the best option for all the reasons you mentioned.

I think it's fine that a grandparents day should be different from a nursery day in terms of focusing.on development/ education. GPs have an important fun role and an example of developing loving relationships.
But I agree that in this instance a childminder or nursery would be best if only for the sake of your other child who might feel they were missing out. And 3 days is a lot. Maybe one day?

I think three days is too much to ask of grandparents, it's exhausting looking after little ones. Two days in nursery and one with grandparents does seem to be the obvious solution.

I think this is a good idea. Nursery is actually really overwhelming and stimulating for little ones.

Plus I know you said you had some concerns about them following your directions but nurseries can be even worse with this. My little one would only nap if you patted his back and the nursery said they couldn’t do that so he dropped his nap at nursery from way too early.

we loved the nursery overall but there is definitely an element of it isn’t something they normally do, it may well not happen as it just won’t work with the other children

I’ve also just remembered that he liked his bottle in two halves but they always forgot so he only ever had half the milk at any one time.

id forgotten that actually - they were a really good nursery too. Just that they aren’t parents or family and will do things as they’ve been trained.