Tips for getting baby to sleep longer.

[CJ98]

I’m really struggling as a first time mum to get my 12 week old baby to sleep. Throughout the day she sleeps 2.5 hours and then wakes up screaming for a bottle. We’ve been told by our health visitor to feed whenever baby girl wants feeding but on a night she’s not sleeping. It’s getting exhausting as im not sleeping during the night but then can’t sleep during the day due to the fact my partner works & although I’ve been told to sleep when my baby sleeps this is becoming impossible because she doesn’t sleep. We’ve tried everything from putting her in a bath, feeding her, turning the lights off in the house and the TV right down & nothing seems to work. I’m so drained that it’s affecting my relationship with my partner as I feel like a single parent all the time. Our health visitor thinks baby girl might be suffering with a little bit of colic but again nothing seems to be working, we’ve tried colic drops/infacol in her bottles and it just makes her scream even more. She’s really tight with bringing her wind up & most of the day we spend hours trying to get her wind up, she’ll then fall asleep and can be asleep maybe an hour before she’s waking up for a bottle again. Is there anything we can do to Atleast get her to sleep during the night 🤦🏼‍♀️😣

What do you mean she doesn't sleep at night? She must sleep at some point.

You have a bottle fed baby so go to bed very early and get a good sleep, then swap with your husband, or vice versa.

That all sounds just like what a baby does to me. It’s not forever, you can’t make them
sleep that’s for sure. Some sleep well and some don’t.

You just need to nap when you can, and take turns.

Can you give us a breakdown of the average 24 hours, when she sleeps and for how long?

Agree with above poster though, if she's bottle fed then you get yourself to fed and to bed when your partner gets home from work and he takes over with baby until the latest he can manage to stay up while still being fit for work next day; then you take over.

It means you won't get much time as a couple but it's a stage and it will pass.

Agree with both the PP - shifts with DH so you can have a chunk of sleep, and also just accept that this is your level of sleep for now, as brutal as it seems.

Which bottles are you using? We cycled through 4 (I think) different brands before settling in Dr Brown’s anti colic and they made such a difference.

Keep her upright all the time in the day to help with wind. Do you need to still be doing night feeds, what's her weight?

She must be exhausted and overtired. My son was really gassy. I went to a baby massage class and the teacher gave me two bits of advice that helped.

.1 with overtired baby you need to remove all stimulation. So a dark room or hold them in front of a blank wall. Keep them there until they calm down

1. At the end od the day you need fo break all tge gas down. Keep them vertical and you can asort od walk about witg tgem ove ryour shoulder . she also reccomemded doing sirf of lunges whe you are walking . i found this helpful.

3 lastly, if you get desperate co sleep. sometimes its the ONLY way i could get my son to sleep outsise tge buggy.

its a total nightmare having a restelss baby. my son also didn'f / doens't seem to need muxh sleep. My daughter was tge opposite. i could sleep when ahe did and enjoyed 2 h afternoon nap daily and a t least 4/5 h continuous sleep at night . She would also sleep alone. Game changer.

Baby sounds over tired. Have you researched age appropriate wake windows and routine? Making sure you're trying to get them down in good time before they max out their wake window. By 12 weeks digestion resolves, are you sure it's that?

Also not sleeping past 5pm helps at this age, so they are ready to go down for bed at 7pm.

Do you have a bedtime routine? It helps them understand it's time for the long sleep.

Getting them outside for morning and afternoon fresh air helps with circadian rhythm.

Agree co sleeping if you're desperate helps or putting them in their own room. They shouldn't need night feeds if heavier than 7-9kg. Can't remember exact weight, google it. Sometimes controlled crying in the day helps them self settle ag night, so put them down awake but well fed, winded, clean and in good wake window and see what happens after 5 min, then slowly stretch it out until they learn to self settle. Good luck.

We’ve tried getting her into a routine and sometimes she’ll sleep for 8 hours a night and sleep right through other nights she’s up 4 hours after going down. I’m on my own for most of the night (my partner doesn’t get home until 1am) and after having her all day (my partner is out of the house from around 2/2:30pm) so I don’t even know where to start with having a routine. I’ve tried everything from being out all day, to bathing her on an evening to making the room as dark as possible and it’s like nothing is helping her relax on an evening.
move just had a look at when to stop night time feeds and it says it’s around 6 months old.

Babies may need feeding in the night for months or years she is far too young, that is outdated advice to suggest that.
Also babies should be in the same room as you for all sleeps for atleast 6 months.

It sounds like she goes down for a fair bit but then wakes up and is awake for ages? Is that right? What time are you attempting to put her down- maybe it’s too early? Babies often like to cluster feed in the evenings so if she’s bottle fed you may need to replicate that like with a dummy.

Stopped feeding my son at night at 14 weeks. Was fine. If all depends if they're getting enough food in the day.

Our boy is a little older at 17 weeks and we've only had a bedtime routine that works (for us!) for about 3 weeks.

• Last nap done by 6pm latest.
• Bath if he's having one about 7pm.
• Sleepsuit on and a cuddle with one of us or quiet toys or his swing
• Around 7.45pm into the dimly lit bedroom, into sleeping bag, warm bottle (amount adjusted based on whenever his last feed was, if it was at 7 we'll just offer a couple of oz for example), story, lullaby machine, cuddles, calm quiet voices, sleep. Exactly the same, every night, whether it's me or DH doing the routine.

Sometimes he'll cry and fight for a good while but we just carry on the cuddle and calm voices until he eventually does. No lights go back on, he doesn't leave the room again.

If he wakes up in the night it's calm voices, dim lights, cuddle or patting and shushing, feed if necessary, change if necessary. Only after 7am do lights go on, normal speaking voices, and morning begins. It's rare now that he actually wants a feed in the night, that'll always depend on the individual baby rather than what the books say.

It's not so much what you do in your own house for your own routine, but I think consistency is a lot of it as baby starts to learn what's going to be coming next.

If your partner gets home at 1am that sounds ideal for him taking over a shift to let you sleep before he goes to bed? If he did 1-4 for example then he could sleep until 10am and would still be getting 6 solid hours.

Yeah she’s still in our room currently in a Moses basket due to the lack of room we have for a cot (she has one it’s just in her room which we’ve been advised to wait until she’s 6 months before starting to put her in it) we’ve also tried her with a dummy & she doesn’t take too it, she’s never taken to a dummy even when she was born, the moment a dummy is put into her mouth she just instantly spits it out. Weve tried all sorts of times but it’s mainly any time after 7pm that I try to get her down. She’ll go to sleep & she’ll sleep for a couple of hours & then wake up around 2.5 hours later screaming and then she’s awake for a few hours before going down again.

That honestly sounds like something I might try, atleast the nap, bath and then into a dimly room part. I just feel like I’m struggling as a first time mum to get everything right and it’s hard when I’m on my own for most of the day & night.

Ahh I've been there OP and it is tough. It will pass though!

With your partners hours I would suggest he takes the baby from about 7am so you at least get a good chunk of sleep before he goes to work each day.

Hmm perhaps try a bit later then? Go to bed together later on maybe try 9etc? I just used to keep my kids downstairs with me and then we’d go up together for the feeds before bed and then hope they would sleep then! Lots of babies can still be awake in the evenings so instead of fighting them to go to sleep you could always see if that works and spend the evening a bit more relaxed instead. X

We gave her a bottle last night around midnight and all went to bed together, she was awake when we went up but fell asleep on her own. She slept right through until around 6:30 when she woke for a bottle & changing, we then put her back down and she didn’t wake up until 11 so whatever we did last night seem to work 😂 I usually keep her downstairs with me whilst me partner is at work and then when he comes in and we’ve had something to eat we then all go up together.

Great! Mayhe she’s a night owl. But you can get a lie in in the mornings :)

Hopefully we’ll just see if it continues, she’ll do a couple of days like this and then she’ll go back to waking up every couple of hours 🤦🏼‍♀️😂