People whose kids are 6 years apart....

[Talkabtit101]

Currently have a DD, age 5, if I got pregnant tomorrow they would be 6 by the time baby was here.

Me and DH have been talking about having a second child, however one of my worries is that we have left it too long in terms of age gap. I think this is a personal issue as there is 9 years between me and the second eldest child, and we don't get on/ see eye to eye.

Can anyone give me any encouragement? What have your experiences been like.
Another issue I have is we have no childcare at all, we don't live locally to family, and I'm scared about how I'd cope through labour without DH being there, as he would need to stay with DD. Does anyone have any experience with this?

Sitters aren't an option for us ( terrible experience (

DC1 is nearly 7yrs older than DC2. Luckily, they are close and get on well (and have done from the start). I have several siblings and the eldest two are a lot older than I am. We've always (luckily) been very close and got on very well.

Pros (for us as a family):
-I was able to focus on one DC at a time whilst they were really small (and to an extent now!): I only had to focus on DC1 as a baby, and later on, DC1 would be at school when DC2 was a baby.
-DC2 grew up being used to seeing and interacting with older kids, so starting school wasn't too scary.
-DC1 was old enough to understand that there were times that DC2 would need feeding/nappy changes/naps etc.
-only one DC in nursery at a time.

Cons:
-I sometimes feel bad about the age gap, and the kids not having a sibling of similar age!

It's lovely, one is at school so you get that "first child" experience with the next one, while feeling so much more experienced. They get on well and a decade later I now have a babysitter!
I do have another in between though.

Not my children but there is a six year age gap between me and my sibling and we have a good relationship.

I remember the day they were born and all the other milestones (walking, talking, starting school)

I have friends who have big age gaps between their kids and it works well for their family too

Oooof, I need to mention DD is homeschoooled, so we won't have that time at school. Atleast for a couple of years whilst she's on the prep waiting list.

They got on well when youngest was a baby and toddler and eldest doted on her, then had sod all to do with each other if they could possibly avoid it for the next 15 years until youngest was 17, now get on very well indeed.

They certainly weren’t close at all until much later, and juggling different life stages and interests was a challenge sometimes. Family days out - not much a 5yo and 11yo both like.

But their relationship now is lovely.

Same age gap.

I had to have a C-section so my MiL came up the night before to cover the school drop off /pick up. (We have no close family living near)

I only had one set of nursery fees at once! Now they are a lot older we only had one set of university support to pay and can save before the next one if she also goes, same with driving lessons and cars etc!

One rule was we would still use holiday clubs - I didn’t expect my 16 year old to entertain her 10 year old sister in the summer holidays! Occasional emergency help and the odd night out for us! I didn’t want her to feel like a free/cheap babysitter (I was the eldest and it was expected of me growing up so never got to have a summer of doing my own thing!)

When my eldest went to uni my youngest initially loved it but she did miss her sister and I think was sometimes lonely - but they Snapchat/whats app etc and I think their relationship is now better for it!

Now 21 and 15 they do wind each other up at times! But it’s not to bad! Not like it was for my parents have two hormonal teenage girls with 2 years apart - we used to argue and conflict was high!

My DB and I are 7 years apart. Like 2 only children. Live in different parts of the country and only had frequent contact when our parents were ill - now both died. Just birthday and Christmas cards now

I have 3 DC. 6 years between eldest & middle DC, then 5 years between middle & youngest. All 3 are very close, I haven’t noticed their relationship to be any different from mine or my brothers when we were younger & we are still close to this day & there is less years between us. Same as my friend, 7 years between her & her sister & they are close also & was growing up.

I don’t think age matters whether siblings will be close or not, I think what will be will be. I know plenty of people who have siblings close in age who don’t speak to each other at all & visa versa. If you want another I say go for it.

I have 6.5 years between DD and DS, both adults now and very close. So close DS has currently moved in with DD

My son is 22 and daughter is 16 and they get along very well and are super close honestly. They also have a 7 year old sister though!

The main perk for me is that the older one can look after the younger one easily when they're a teen. That's about the only perk I've found tbh (mine are 5yrs apart and absolutely hate each other bit I appreciate this might not be the norm for most families... I hope not anyway)

Same age gap, they are SO close! Much closer than my other child in the middle who’s closer in age

On the practicalities of giving birth, does DD have any good friends who are also friends of the family and who might look after her whilst you're having (hypothetical) DC2? It is the sort of situation where people are often glad to help.