How would you handle this as a parent?

[Carexo]

Son is 7 and school called today to say he was not listening today and kept trying to go into a play area that was out of bounds as workmen were there sorting out the tarmac.

genuinely how would you respond to this as a parent…just speak to him or would there be consequences?

not the first phone call over the years about his listening but the first this year so far. I am a single mum with a less than great ex husband who had no real views on anything parenting related so could do with some perspective

I'd say thank you to the school for alerting you re playground safety. People shouldn't be out in those areas while children are out though. I'd ask for support with concentration and auditory processing. I have honestly never heard of a school phoning a parent to complain about a child's listening. It's the responsibility of the staff to deliver the curriculum in away that the children are able to access and I'd see it as a need he has that's possibly unmet. Maybe way too much sitting, listening, teacher talking...

Really? I definitely got a few phone calls last year about him needing to be reminded to do something (sit on mat, not wrestling in playground etc)

Yes really. I'd describe what you've mentioned as an issue around following instructions and maybe rules being a bit ott. He maybe needs to move much more in school, normal practice in many schools.

School behaviour isn't isolated. Whilst parents shouldn't be told about every minor incident, they do need to be part of the conversation. Eg "Tom didn't come and sit on the carpet quick enough when asked" isn't important enough to share with parents as an isolated thing, but "Tom kept going into an area he had been told was unsafe" is a serious issue which needs to be reinforced at home. Not punished, just with help on listening to instructions. It may be that a conversation with school ends with a decision that he needs more movement breaks, or visual reminders etc but it is a safety issue parents need to be aware of so they can remind him to listen to teachers and assess safety for himself. For example regularly pointing out to him when out for a walk that barriers have been put up to keep us safe whilst those people are digging up the pavement etc so he can learn to realise for himself what barriers, signs etc mean even if he hasn't heard / remembered adults telling him not to go there.

Thank you, I think he is genuinely just pushing the boundaries, acting silly, showing of type behaviour. He understands rules and why he should be following them I think but generally tends to be the one to just push what he is/isnt allowed to do so I understand the schools point of view. Just curious as to how to handle it at home

I tend to do a conversation the first time, then a consequence the second time (if there is one). The conversation includes the "if school have to speak to me again, you'll get X consequence".

Of course school have to have work people on site during the day, that's not unusual.

The fact he kept trying is why they called. Have you asked him why he carried on?

And what would your usual consequence be?

he said he doesn’t know why he kept trying, he wanted to see what they were doing, he didn’t think it was dangerous as he was going to be careful

Nintendo ban for up to a week.

I can see his logic, but he needs to follow the adults instructions. You can explain it's not about him being careful, but the other people might not be so to keep him safe he needs to stay away.

He can ask an adult what they're doing and even why he's not allowed to get closer. He doesn't need to see for himself and put himself / others in danger to find out.

Safety is a non negotiable in my eyes not a difference of opinio or a place to push boundaries. The adults responsible for his safety have said it's danish he doesn't do it. End of.

*dangerous, not Danish....