Helping my son with other children

[Missrainbows]

Hello, my son has just turned two (so still very young) and has never really shown any interest in other children. He has actually just come out of a phase of being very scared of other children, where he would cry and run away if they came near him.

He has shown some interest recently in interacting / playing with children, mostly my friends child he sees a lot and a bit at nursery. However, he doesn't seem to know what to do - he mostly just grabs and pulls at their clothes while smiling at them, and sometimes just stands and screams in their face (which shocks them!). He kept walking up to children at the weekend and touching their face, which some parents understandably didn't like, and he has made my friends son cry a few times by (accidently) pulling him over or screaming at him.

I fully accept he is very young and unlikely to know how to play yet! But has anyone else had this with their children? Will he just grow out of it as he learns? I feel sad for him wanting to play and making children cry instead. Is there anything I can do to help? If we know the children, I try and demonstrate how to interact properly and tell him not to grab or pull. Any other advice is very welcome!

Hopeful bump?

I think just gently direct him not to grab other kids, he is still very young. One of mine was terrified of other kids until 3. Would freeze or hide of anyone tried to play or talk with him. He is very social now.

At 2yrs, he's too young for interactive play. That does not come til nearer 3. At 2, parallel play is still the thing. Where a child does his own thing alongside another child. Who might be doing a similar sort of thing.

Honestly, i would take him out of group situations with other children for now and spend more 1:1 time with him as an adult.
He will learn far better play skills alongside you at this age.

Frustration can arise at 2 due to inadequate speech and language skills. Kids simply do not have the language to navigate play with other kids.

There is a good reason why the traditional play group start date was 2yrs and 10 months before this drive towards pushing young tots into early education started - because co operative play does not start til 2yr 10 months.

Children younger than this get far more benefit just from being at home with an adult- going to the shop, posting a letter, playing with spoons and pots in the kitchen whilst you prepare the meal - all these everyday things are education for a little one.

And just sit down alongside when he plays with toys to extend his language and play skills.

https://pathways.org/kids-learn-play-6-stages-play-development/

Here's a link about play development

It’s really not appropriate for him to be grabbing, touching or screaming in the face of other children. At 2, they still don’t really play or interact with other children. That comes closer to 3. But you need to teach him appropriate social behaviour, and hurting and scaring others isn’t it.

When he does things like that, you tell him no, direct him to the behaviour you want him to do - playing with a toy, asking if the child wants to go on the slide with him, building a sandcastle, whatever - and you apologise to the child/parent.