New parents - how much sleep is "no sleep"

[Nikamon]

I've been hearing that new parents get no sleep and I kind of took it literally, so when my boy was born I was feeling quite lucky to be getting 5 hours of sleep per day. But after 3 months the little one sleeps less and recently I'm down to 2-3 hours per day. I'm having mental breakdowns on a regular basis (which I also heard was normal). On the other hand I'm reading posts from mothers complaining they don't get a solid chunk of sleep through the night, while for me it's about getting any sleep at all. I have such issue to figure out how much help I'm allowed to ask for. My goal was to be able to not sleep at all, but I just feel it's not possible. So what is meant when people say it's normal not to get sleep with a new baby?

That's absolutely awful advice and is probably going to make OP feel awful so well done on that. /S. Putting a newborn in their own room is negligent at best. If a baby is screaming crying because they have reflux or trapped wind or CMPA they're simply not going to sleep no matter how much "routine" you have.

I also refuse to believe your tiny newborn only woke once in the night at one week old. How could they possibly be getting enough to eat?

@Nikamon this might sound silly but when baby is only napping for a short period, is it possible that they are cold? There's so much focus now on not overdressing and overheating baby but they do need a certain level of warmth to stay asleep for a while. Maybe try a blanket over them if you're not using one already (if the room they're in isn't too warm already).

Yes you definitely lucked out if you persevered with a routine, were able to put your baby down in their own room from birth (which is totally against all current advice) but you still never let them cry for more than a minute. I find it so annoying when people go on about how they persevered in setting a strict routine as if those that can’t get their babies into a routine because they need more comfort, have health issues etc aren’t trying hard enough. It’s really toxic advice.

I'm sorry OP, but this is madness. I think you know yourself that lack of sleep is driving you a bit crazy! I don't understand why you are "terrified" of asking more of your partner. Yes, he works full time (let's say 9 - 5 (8 hours)), but you are ALSO working, but you are working around 22 hours a day! The fact that you are at home is irrelevant. He needs to step up and do more to help you.

Also - it's important to keep in mind that this stage doesn't last forever. There will come a time when your baby sleeps for longer, and has more regular naps, and you will feel better. It can just be a really hard slog in the early days.

No you still need 6-8+ hours a day but just not all in one stint during the night.

Sleep when the baby sleeps.

Take long 2 hour naps during the day.

You should be getting at least one 4 hour straight stretch a night after 6 weeks.

Broken sleep is a killer. I’d ‘get’ 10 hours a night but no more than 2-3 maybe at a time.

I had awful insomnia with my DD peaking about 3 months. I tried CBT but the only thing that really worked was taking sleeping pills and having DH do all the night feeds for a few weeks. I still sometimes find it hard to get back to sleep after night wakeups.

I agree with taking turns with your partner to sleep if needed for you to get an unbroken few hours of sleep. I would really consider a bottle of formula as expressing is such a hassle.

I also find broken sleep a killer I can function on broken sleep if I don’t have to do much such as on maternity leave but it really affects my cognitive ability and ability to do my job well now that I’m back at work.

I was like this with my 2nd...I dropped the breastfeeding & went onto formula & I was a new woman in a few days.
Baby slept more settled & got into a routine within a week or so.