Friends and parenting

[Pepperkj]

Hey there!!! I wasn't certain on what topic I would put this under lol but thought friends/parenting would be ideal!

So I have a friend(I thought we were close but we're definitely not, I shouldn't have trusted my instincts). I met her through my kids school and she is one of the mums. During our 5 year acquaintance I feel like I've been doing most of the work. She's been a good friend to a certain extent but I feel like it's only at her own convenience and I realise this now. It was a birthday a few weeks ago and she never even made an effort to even congratulate me and yet claims me to be one her best friends lmao loollll sometimes i also sense that shes jealous of me and alwayd compating my son to her. I'm definitely annoyed as I've been friends with certain people like this. Do you think I'm over reacting?? Is it a bit cruel just to ghost and cut people of completely??? If you have certain school mum friends who asks you to babysit every weekend how do you say no without hurting their feelings? ? It's really hard to meet new friends and maintain friendships especially when you're making most of the effort. I still do feel hurt about losing this friendship but I know/hope/believe there's most genuine women friends out there. Any input would be appreciated 👏 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

It was a birthday a few weeks ago and she never even made an effort to even congratulate me and yet claims me to be one her best friends lmao loollll

I don't understand. Congratulate you on what ?

sometimes i also sense that shes jealous of me and alwayd compating my son to her.

I'm not sure what this means either. I mean I understand what jealousy is, but not the rest of the sentence.

If you have certain school mum friends who asks you to babysit every weekend how do you say no without hurting their feelings?

I'd say "No, sorry I can't". I might say "If you want I can ask my babysitter if she has capacity to help you. She charges £X an hour. Do you want me to ask her if I can give you her number?"

Congratate me in terms of saying "hey there happy birthday hope you're well!!!" it doesn't cost that much to say happy birthday to someone especially if you always see each other all the time before.

And sorry I meant to say. Sometimes I feel like she's jealous of me and comparing my son to hers. The kids both use to be friends.

I don't know m(any) of my "school mum best friends" birthdays. They don't know mine either. The only non close family "adult" birthdays I remember are my best best friends from college/uni, and we do not live anywhere near eachother. Even then I sometimes forget if I've got a lot on. So I think yabu on that aspect, in most social circles adult birthdays are pretty insignificant once kids come along.

However, if you feel that the friendship is one sided more generally and you don't want the hassle then just cut ties. You called her an acquaintance not a friend anyway. You also said that your kids used to be friends in the past, so presumably your son won't be too bothered that he no longer sees X outside of school? If you don't want to babysit for her then say so - have you told her that you're feeling used?

I don't know m(any) of my "school mum best friends" birthdays. They don't know mine either. The only non close family "adult" birthdays I remember are my best best friends from college/uni, and we do not live anywhere near eachother. Even then I sometimes forget if I've got a lot on. So I think yabu on that aspect, in most social circles adult birthdays are pretty insignificant once kids come along.

This.
I have plenty of friends but the only ones I can tell you when their birthdays are are the girls I went to school with.

You say your son and hers used to be friends. Accept that. It is okay for a friendship to be 'of a time'. There doesn't need to be any drama, but you don't have to remain close to anyone forever, because the friendship used to work some time ago. Let things drift if you aren't enjoying the friendship.