Leaving child at home/out playing

[user1480111163]

My son's in year 5, I've noticed a couple of his friends who have already turned or about to turn 10 have been at the park alone one of which have been looking after younger siblings, theyre told a time to be home and they make sure they are.

It's made me think should I be giving mine a bit more freedom? He's usually a sensible boy, main thing that worries me is to get to the park where his friend's go he have to cross 2 busy roads 1 being right outside my house, that reason alone I feel uncomfortable with. He's asked if he can do the same and go alone, I've deflected this ATM.

Also it's made me think say if I need some milk from the shop end of my road I've always taken him with me, but maybe I can start making small steps now by leaving him home for say 10mins at a time.

I grew up and my parents were strict and I think it prevented me having/being included in some friend groups so they stopped asking me to go with them places as they knew I'd say I can't. I don't want the same for my son. But it's such a fine Ballance to get right.

This depends on where you live. Boys that she roaming around alone can be more vulnerable to gangs / drug dealers. I personally wouldn’t

A sensible year 5 child should be developing independent road crossing, being left alone, low level troubleshooting etc skills.
Mine is y4 and I send her to the shops - 2 roads, one busy but excellent visibility, the other has a "green man" crossing.

It's important for all children but maybe more so boys to be given responsibility and be trusted with the road, the money, the task.

Drug dealers are not targeting well supported 9 year old boys from stable homes walking to the shop for a pint of milk and some sweets with the change.

Should have said that my y4 child goes with a friend to the shops, but within this next year she can certainly go alone

The three DC from DS1’s year who were out alone at that age managed to

1. break an arm falling out of a tree
2. get the police called by damaging a bus shelter
3. be described to me by two separate strangers (I was in the park with DSs) as ‘feral’

I’m sure not all DC are like that but even if I had been inclined to let DS1 out that would have put me off. He’s in Y7 now and perfectly capable of going to the shops and school solo.

Yes they are in some areas.

Both my boys were doing that kind of thing from age 8/9. But it very much depends on where you live. We're in a quiet suburban area.

Responsibility for siblings would be a no from me though.

Well of course we all know this sort of thing never occurs in the Home Counties tinkly laugh

This weekend, a group of our Scouts aged 11-13 are doing a 20 mile hike over two days, without adults (during the day, they are supervised overnight!) Including cooking their own meals.

At 10, they should be making the steps to get more independence. So be able to be in the lark unsupervised for example. The roads... tbh none if could judge, busy covers everything from a normal residential road to a duel carriageway, which may or may not have proper crossings. You will need to judge that.

year 5 children in my area are typically doing the following alone
walking (or cycling) to and from school
playing out (with fairly tight boundaries)
going to friends' houses without prior arrangement (within boundaries)
going to the local park
walking to local shop

As others have said, it does depend on area. I think Year 5 is a good age to start introducing some independence though. otherwise you'll end up in the scenario that they get to Year 7 and they are expected to make their own way to school (sometimes with quite complex journey) and have never left the house alone.

I've tried to build up my kid's independence from 9/1

We live in an area that is a bit salty, there are dealers around and young teens are runners for them. So i'm cautious but I let them do as much as I think is safe.

Short trips to friends houses. Learning to cross the road, never just trust the lights because those electric scooters break them all the time. That kind of thing. It's hard to know how to do the right thing but it's critical to not let them get to 13 or older without having left the house by themselves.

Around here you'd be walking to school and back yourself before the age of 10, and absolutely playing out with your friends alone. Kids have mobile phones now as well instead of some coins in their pocket for the phone box.

You're holding your son back. Agree ground rules and expectations, let him know what happens if he doesn't stick to these, then let him get on with it.

(This might end up one of those threads that always highlights the Scottish/English divide on this subject though)

Love that you have a phone box nearby @Yourethebeerthief !
It's bad enough getting mine to learn to use our landline!

Quite normal everywhere I've lived and leaving them at home from 8 for short errands. It's child specific, not all are ok but my kids were fine, also walking to school

They do need to build up their independence by starting with small steps and I think it's ridiculous to have a 10-12 year old whose parents believe they are incapable of making a short journey or safely crossing the road. It's slightly terrifying to see how much these children are wrapped in cotton wool.

We don't 😅 I meant it's easier for kids now compared to when we grew up and always had 20p in the pocket for an emergency call.

My 10 year old (11 in Dec) has spent the summer doing exactly that, but not looking after his younger sister. He's with his friends.

He's fairly free range. I tell him to be back at 5.30pm, and he is. We do live in a small quiet town though.

This weekend, a group of our Scouts aged 11-13 are doing a 20 mile hike over two days, without adults (during the day, they are supervised overnight!) Including cooking their own meals

^

Really! Sounds great. Can you tell us more? Is it hill walking??