Screen time for 2 and 4 year olds

[Kudds]

I am struggling as a full time SAHM to keep the screens away.. we end up doing dinner with Bluey or Peppa cos it's just too hard some days .. and I give my younger one the phone while I change her nappy to avoid the massive struggle..

How does everyone feel about screen time and how are you managing to keep some sort of balance?

I think lots of people do use screen time but it's good to have some back ups.

Two things I found helped with teatime, which is usually when they're tired, is playing calming classical music or an audiobook, like one of the Jolly Postman stories.

1. In my opinion its not about avoiding screentime but managing it to avoid the communication problems screens are known to cause.
2. large screens are better and have less impact on a child’s brain development than smaller screens. TVs have the least impact especially if watching educational / interactive shows.
3. There is some evidence to suggest that vigorous exercise everyday can reverse the damage caused by screens. DS has 30-60mins as a minimum everyday - outdoors usually.
4. I don’t use screens with dinner. I use Alexa (audio content like stories have been show to grow the areas of the brain that small screens can shrink and improve language skills).

I’ve always done 30 mins of TV while making dinner. In the younger years it kept me sane. I think the quality of programmes is important too. There is loads of good stuff on iplayer but I’ve lost that battle now.

As for screens while nappy changing, that wouldn’t bother me at 2 because you will be potty training soon it won’t be an issue for long.

Never TV at meal time. Playing music is always good. It’s important to model good table manner which includes how to chat to people.

I think there is a huge difference between watching TV together and staring at a small phone or tablet, entirely in your own world.

Cuddling up on the sofa to watch a film, or Peppa, you are laughing together at the same bits, talking to each other and able to talk about the things you've watched together afterwards. As part of a varied lifestyle, where you get exercise and things as well, it's a nice addition.

I think I would stop giving the phone as a default, or being on it too much yourself, it sets a habit that if your brain isn't stimulated for 1 minute you reach for it and a lot of teenagers really struggle with that. You will also find they are most creative when you allow their minds to wander.

I'd try to avoid using it to manage emotions. Ie, they're frustrated, so give them a phone to calm them down etc. Kids need to experience these emotions in order to manage them. They also need to learn to deal with boredom etc.
Family movie once every so often- fine. Using it to manage difficult behavior, calm them down etc- no.
If it helps, once they get used to this they'll be much better at regulating emotions, dealing with boredom, it'll build their resilience every day... they'll be much easier as older kids and teenagers than those who have learned to regulate themselves with screens. It's harder now, but it'll be easier later.

We just have a timer for it. Son (nearly 4) has no more than one hour of tv per day. When he reaches the hour mark we allow him to finish his show (they're all around 10 mins long) then ask him to turn the tv off and he does.

After that he plays with his toys or he might help me with what I'm doing (cooking, gardening, cleaning etc) or we might go for a walk to the shops or park.

My 2 year old son watches Numberblocks/ Alphablocks for 15 mins while I settle the baby for her nap. Otherwise he listens to audiobooks, which he loves!

Agree with @LadyQuackBeth and @Ozanj . We used to have TV on for parts of the day when both children were under 4 but no phones or tablets for watching programmes or games. They still don't get to use them and are now a 6 and 7.

Kids need to experience these emotions in order to manage them. They also need to learn to deal with boredom etc.
Family movie once every so often- fine. Using it to manage difficult behavior, calm them down etc- no.

Research backs this up
.https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/children-digital-tablets-phones-mental-health-b2570733.html

A bit of tv when you're making dinner is fine, don't beat yourself up about it

@user2848502016

I think the op is saying that they watch tv while eating.

Sorry OP, but I'm also a SAHM (to a 3 and 1 year old), and I have a zero TV policy. They're just too little and their brains too underdeveloped. I intend to relax as they're older, think snuggles watching a movie together etc, but it will never be on when eating and never watched on a phone/small screen. As PP state, the evidence is clear that it should be avoided when little and never used in lieu of feeling/experiencing emotions/boredom etc.
Life is bloody hard with 2 so small, I totally get it, but I'm concentrating on the long game

If you rely on screens as a quick fix during those challenging moments you, as a parent, do not develop the skills you need to effectively parent as they grow.

So nappy time, you need to develop great distraction techniques, singing nursery rhymes,having a chat about things in the room etc, those translate to distraction techniques in shops.

Screens at dinner time means children eat mindlessly not understanding when they are full and you use the opportunity to foster good communication skills a the dinner table which will be useful as they hit their teens.

Buy a phone safe and pretend you don't have one would be better for you all.

Mine is only little so it's very easy for me to say this now but I dont intend to give her a tablet or screen until she is much older obviously some tele like watching the odd movie when she is old enough but screens like tablets are not good for them , my niece was given an iPad when she was about 3 and she went from being the best child to a nightmare because she was just addicted to it had to be taken away it was that bad , it's not great for their deployment .

I'd definitely struggle full time with 2 pre schoolers so hats off to you. I'd focus on potty training as soon as you can to avoid that particular frustration.
Try a carpet picnic, outside tea (maybe not in this weather!), dishes to serve themselves, or meal together on the sofa with a programme is better than a phone/tablet at the table I think. Just an occasional break in the routine keeps me sane!

Good points to think about and I think I will try some audio books.

They okay together during bf and lunch but dinner becomes a struggle.. it's that time.. I usually put bluey, Peppa or Daniel tiger on tv and we do talk about it and watch together.. there nappy situation.. I used to do distraction but it's stopped working.. if it's a poo diaper I give the phone to avoid the hands going down there which happens sometimes..

There is a lot of evidence to suggest that children under 5 who watch TV with their parents / educational TV shows have higher IQs and better communication skills than children who watch no TV before 5 (and those who watch TV by themselves). Need to remember that in countries like India and China where pre-schoolers have far superior communication skills overall TV is a communal activity. But it only applies to TV

4yo and 1yo here. 4yo watches a lot of TV. It used to bother me but actually I don’t think it’s had a negative effect on him. We have never allowed screens at dinner time, he does have a tablet but he’s only ever been allowed it on holiday or once when we had to wait hours in A&E. He doesn’t battle when we turn it off and he spends a lot of time outdoors.

Oh and I have toys in the top draw of our nappy changing table and will rotate them to give to the 1yo during nappy change, think fidget poppers etc or small books. I get the PP who said about singing etc and we absolutely do that but his hands need to be occupied to stop the poo going everywhere!