What am I doing wrong? Is this just normal toddler behaviour

[greensleeves8]

My two year old is such hard work lately.
she never used to be like this, she says “no” and “I don’t like it” to most things now. Always wants her way. She threw a toy at earlier me so I told her no we don’t do that firmly and she was hysterical.
if she doesn’t get the answer she wants from me she either cries or cries for daddy.
she’s an angel at nursery, and I was nervous when my parents had her for a few hours as I had to work and she was perfectly well behaved and no tantrums.
she is being fussy with her fave foods, runs off when we go out, gets emotional if I say no to something or have to tell her she can’t do something that will put her in danger. I can’t do anything right by her,
im very tired and im probably feeling emotional and irrational after a hard day, but i feel like she doesn’t like me sometimes all because I have to brush her teeth, tell her she can’t hit or kick me and basic things.
she’s like this with DH but worse with me.
but then at the same time it’s me she wants when she wakes up and I feel like a comfort blanket.
I feel guilty moaning, she is a lovely child mostly but this stage is harrrd.
does it get easier? Why does my daughter play up to me the most?

Sounds normal to me tbh. Keep your boundaries firm, try to be patient and lots of love. She will grow out of it if the boundaries around behaviour are maintained. My DD was a horrific toddler, she was beautiful and sweet but acted like an utter goblin a lot of the time. They have minimal executive function, toddlers have big feelings but their brains aren’t developed to the point where they can control their behaviour yet.

Hang in there, but whatever you do, do not let the behaviour pass, don’t be mean but make sure she knows it’s not ok. It will ease up in time.

Normal. Unfortunately

That's toddlers for you.

They call it the terrible twos for a reason. They are just begining to explore the idea that they are a separate person to you and can make their own choices that are different to yours

If you can offer a controlled choice it sometimes helps (do you want to wear the red top or the green one. Would you like water or milk to drink. Shall we brush your teeth first or put your pyjamas on first? etc)

That all sounds very normal, OP.
Don't worry. All toddlers do what yours is doing. Mine all did (and I had four).
They grow out of it.

Normal !

Try and keep things positive: keep praising the good, distract, ‘let’s do this’ rather than ‘don’t do that’ etc

Yep, normal I'm afraid

I remember thinking between 18m - 2.5ish how lucky we were to have such a delightful child who never really tantrummed etc. ...well those days are gone!! 😂

I know it's hard work but stay consistent, be firm but fair, hold your boundaries, and remember they have zero impulse control or logic/reasoning skills. It's such a struggle but brighter days are ahead....I hope!

Whens she's naughty like my sons started to headbutt. I ignore. Move to a safe place. Sometimes best not to give them a reaction

Normal toddler. Try star chart, time out etc to improve things a bit. Boundaries are ok.