When to seek help for 4 year olds diet

[Whentoseekhelp89]

We have ended up with an extremely picky eater. He never used to be, but he is now, not entirely sure when things changed but they have.

He survives on a diet of fish fingers, McDonald’s, pizza, cereal, and ham and cheese sandwiches.

That’s pretty much it. He’ll finish puddings, but he often does not even finish the above meals. So he is fussy, and not fussed for food unless it’s a treat.

He was born small on the 8th centile and is now only 15kg, he turns 5 in January. I had him weighed by the health visitor who said he is a normal weight, but when I use kids BMI on the NHS website he is borderline underweight.

I don’t know what to do. It feels like we’ve tried all the approaches, from being casual and relaxed about it to bribing with desserts. Offering new things or things he doesn’t want with a safe food. Small portions etc. I always offer him what we are having but there is no chance he would eat anything other than the above. He used to at least try, and would entertain a curry or vegetable dish, but even veg is a no go now.

When I spoke to the GP about this around six months ago they said to get him weighed as a first point of call, which we did. But with the kids centiles giving different results to the NHS BMI, I’m at a loss. I feel we need some
help, but on the other hand isn’t it pretty textbook for a 4 year old to be a picky and fussy eater?

Yes absolutely agree, that’s why he has sugary foods as well. I used to restrict sugar a lot when he was younger but relaxed over the last year.

When you type out what he eats/ will try, it doesn’t sound that bad. My DTs will be 5 in April and are also 15kgs (their 2 year old brother is only 1.5kg lighter….).

They love ham and cheese sandwiches too but since starting school have school lunches (prior to that, they had ham and cheese sandwiches every day for a year). They tend to live off pizza, fish fingers, jacket potatoes and beans, tomatoes, cereal and ham sandwiches along with most fruit, yoghurt and croissants/ waffles. Bolognaise, lasagne, any other veg are out.

Will he eat pasta? I would keep going with what he likes and offer a variety of things, trying to limit the mcds if you can.

Having said all of that, don’t be afraid to push the GP for extra support if you need it. You know your son best.

So this evening I made a roast dinner. I gave him all things he used to eat. No green veg, but roasted carrots, potato’s and parsnips, chicken, cauli cheese and Yorkshire puds.

He ate 2 Yorkshire puds and half a roast potato.

I made him a home made crumble using almond flour and maple syrup instead of sugar. He asked for it with a scoop of ice cream, which I gave him. He mixed it up a bit and once he felt the ice cream was gone he asked for more. I said no and he said he was finished.

So there’s 2 plates of food ok the table and he wanders over and opens the fridge, telling me he’s “still hungry!”

In this instance I'd just redirect him to his dinner.

Dinner sounds lovely btw! I'd happily come over and eat it!

I think you need to go cold turkey on all the processed crap. Even the yogurt- why are you adding honey? Get the 10% fat greek stuff, it's gorgeous add fruit puree if he really needs it.

You're the supplier, my kids don't even know what a McDonald's is, let alone live off it.

Clear the kitchen of it all, go back to ingredients. Keep him on school dinners or you're just going to be filling his lunchbox with crappy snacks and be stuck doing it for all of ks1. It doesn't matter if he doesn't "finish" his meals, it's not the 80s, that's not a priority. Just make mealtimes a family time.

Get him to help cook, they all love that. Serve up the meal, all sit at the table and ignore his eating. Let him choose what he wants on his plate.

15kg is slim not dangerously underweight, he's not ill and fainting, there's no need to try and fill him with calories. They go through fussy phases, especially when they see younger siblings weaning.

Haha, thanks!

I did refer him back to his dinner but he wasn’t keen, obviously. He’s currently sat eating some of his dad’s roast potato’s though.

meanwhile the 10 month old has demolished a whole plate of roast dinner and is on a second round of spuds! I recall a time when the eldest was this way too, though.

Well, he didn’t really have any sweet puddings and treats until he started nursery age 2.5, certainly not regularly. He used to have plain yogurt sometimes with fruit puree, like you say. But nursery served puddings like ice cream, as do school currently.

Family started gifting chocs, and treats of sweets became the norm every time he sees the grandparents! So his diet changed as he grew older.

I felt that restricting the crap completely would cause problems further down the line.

You can’t make him eat, there’s no magic solution, you need to think long term. Just give him things he likes and try to gradually expand his repertoire.

So if he likes chicken nuggets try chicken goujons or a breaded chicken breast cut in slices or add a sauce on the side for optional dipping like garlic butter or spicy tomato sauce. Give him a wrap with it or a pitta bread. Try waffles instead of chips. Look up food chaining.

Dont get too hung up on what’s healthy. It’s genetic, you’ve done nothing wrong and there’s no quick fix. Focus on building a good relationship with food and stop sneaking things in to trick him in to eating a vegetable! And expect it to take years not weeks.