Is it ok for a seven year old to eat in bed?

[SierraNose]

Question in title. She eats sitting up.

Does she have an eating disorder? This is the most bizarre thing I've read in a long time!

The TV needs to be downstairs so everyone can enjoy it.

This is really sad.

How long has it been like this?

Is the child your biological child?

Why not start having your and DCs dinner on the dining table and leave your DW to her own bizarre behaviour?

Who cooks?

You all sound really dysfunctional sorry. Did you have a normal childhood? Tell your wife your kid gets a decent shot at it and eat downstairs at the table together, leave your wife to her eating disorder .
Buy a tv for downstairs and shift whatever around, she clearly doesn't care.

Breakfast in bed

Your wife sounds like she has some severe mental health issues that need addressing for the sake of her child.

Imagine being 7 and your mum prefers to lock herself away than spend time with you?

The meals in bed are a total red herring at this point.

Does your wife ever leave the bedroom? What’s the reason for locking the door?

Blimey. After reading your last update I think eating in bed is the tip of the iceberg here. Sorry, don’t know what to suggest that could be constructive really given the situation.

This is really sad. Why does she need to lock the door in her own home? Why was she locked in as a child?

What the flying fuck?! Sorry if I knew your family I’d call social services. That’s just not normal and your child is being affected by this dysfunctional behaviour.

I think the eating in bed sounds like a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.

This is soooooo odd. Honestly not sure what to say or where to start...

I think you might need some sort of family and individual therapy. Your poor child - imagine what her schoolmates are going to make of this when she talks about her home life.

I would sit downstairs with my DC for every dinner without her. Leave your DW to her own very odd dining ritual. You know this isn’t ok, otherwise you wouldn’t have started this thread. The full story would have been helpful in the OP, however! It is what it is and now we know the extent of the situation here my view is that something needs to change.
You don’t need a tv to eat dinner in front of, you can talk to each other instead. Please do this for your DC. You need to set the example. I don’t think that I could ever be in a relationship that works like yours. Meal times are so important to connect with each other and talk about the day. Your DC deserves better.

The Roald Dahl references have had me in stitches!

So do you mean all the tvs are in bedrooms and not downstairs? A quick measure of the space, see if a unit will fit in. I'm sorry to say but this does sound unusual. In my life it was a case of one main downstairs then as I've got older in a different room and eventually upstairs, but font have one in my bedroom, DD have.

I've got no particular objection to eating in bed from a hygiene perspective. I think some of the 'absolutely never - crumbs!' posters are a bit ott - I mean it's food, not pig shit 😂

I've had a few breakfasts in beds in my time and dc have joined in. Ditto with the occasional movie night where we get under the covers and eat pizza watching a film. It's nice. I don't even change the sheets after 😱

But these are one offs. Regularly eating the majority of your meals in bed and encouraging your dc to do the same - using your bed as a regular eating place - well to be frank op it's just fucking odd. Really, really odd.

No, it's not OK for a child to live this way. My suspicion would be that for a family who do this and don't even realise just how odd it is - then it's probably only one of a number of dysfunctional things going on in the household.

This really isn't what would be accepted in most homes and must be hard for you to keep it all up. Your wife needs help, for all of you, your child can't grow up thinking this is the norm. Please keep reaching out and I hope it improves. Xx

Eating in bed is a big no no for me

Oh come on!

No
its not acceptable for kids to eat in bed

@SierraNose what 'health issues' does your DW have?
Is she ND?

I as an adult eat in bed (and my siblings too but we don't live together) we all have neuro/diversity. We eat in bed because we also have muscular conditions that often go hand in hand with ND. One doesn't eat in bed, they have OCD & anixety.
If you met us you wouldn't know we had ND or these other health problems as we work & socialise as 'normal'
My parents would have rather died than eat in bed, or allow us to as children, we are every single meal at the meal, maybe when the Olympics were on we might be allowed a meal in front of the Tv! so I don't worry too much that your DD wouldn't be able to make her own decisions about this when she's older.

And our kids don't eat in bed either, they eat at the table with us, the 'bed' meals are when the kids are not home/around.
Just to offer a lone voice that it does happen in other households!

What you’re describing is not normal by any stretch of the imagination.

DH and I used to eat tea in bed sometimes when we lived with my parents. It wasn’t ideal but I have misophonia and my dad is a vile eater - talking with mouth full, spitting food while doing this, slobbering etc. So we couldn’t eat at the table with my parents.

However as soon as we moved out I have never had any inclination to eat in bed ever again!

Edited to add: Not in bed as in under the covers 😂

I don't understand why your small child is watching TV and eating in her room / a bedroom.

Surely as the adult here, you decide where the 7 year old eats?

If mum locks herself away with her eating disorder, then you have every right to dictate how mealtimes go with child.

Take the child downstairs and eat at the table like a normal person.

I could maybe understand eating together on a bed (at a stretch) but the eating alone is very odd. Is it possible she has some sensory aversions that make eating with others unpleasant for her?

Could you agree certain nights for family meals at the table? Or simply start eating with your daughter and you at the table every night if your wife cant/wont.