Feel so alone but I know I need to leave him

[Michah89]

How to least relationship when you are 12weeks before giving birth 😔I know I need the leave him but don't know how social services are involved because of his abusive behaviour with me he calls me a slag among other stuff all the time when angry and in carrying is son and he treats the mother of his child like this.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately, abuse begins during pregnancy in many cases. Speak to your midwife, who'll be able to signpost you to some help. Any chance your parents could take you in temporarily?

I literally have no one because of him 😭 I was bringing brought up in care so I've always looked out for myself 😔

Perhaps ask for this to be moved to Relationships as it's very active there and you'll get lots of ongoing support and advice and feel less alone. But that aside, well done for realising that you need to go for the good of you and your baby. Much better to leave now as it always gets worse with these pathetic excuses for men who don't deserve you or your DC. Be strong and see it through. You can do this.

Ah, my lovely, I'm so sorry to hear that. But you'll probably find people will come back to you once you're rid of this awful man. You sound really ground down, but you'll have untold strength to be the best mother you can once baby's here. Is your partner at work? If so, try to use this time to get some help in place. And keep posting on here for support, so many women have gone through similar so you'll get some really good advice.

No he's off today he goes back tomorrow. I also have bpd I have let me abuse me for so long. He's a traveler as well so I need to get somewhere safe were he won't find me or this baby

@Michah89 if you don't mind me asking, are you a traveller too? No need to answer on here of course if you don't want to, but I ask because if you are, it's worth contacting your council in case they have anyone who specifically deals with women's and girls issues in the traveller community? I saw this position advertised in my local council so hopefully theres someone similar you can speak to, if so.

Whatever you do, do not put his name on your baby's birth certificate or let him come with you to get the birth certificate. He doesn't thave the right to be put on it, and it can cause you problems further down the line if he has parental responsibility/rights through having his name on the certificate . Also, if you don't want him at the birth, you can tell the midwives to not allow him in.

My honest advice is to move as far away as you can and start again, but of course that's often near impossible to actually do. I wish you all the best. And here's a link for women's aid who might help you find a refuge to get away to. Any benefits you may be entitled to, any help you can access and all of that info

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

No I'm not a traveler

Also @Michah89 if you have nobody by your side, you could contact these people on the link below, who may hopefully arrange someone to be with you and support you during the birth. That's exactly what they are there for and I hope you can get in touch with them for support, you totally deserve it ❤️

This would make it a lot less scary to have someone to speak for you if you need it, and hold you and generally support you in labour

doula.org.uk/doula-access-fund/

I have just spoke to one of my mates she said I can go there and she would be my birthing partner 😊 I just need to get a here now

@michah89

That's great news! You won't be alone, you will be stronger and safer and able to parent your child without fear, I really hope everything goes well for you. There's always someone on here with support, you're never alone

You sound really brave Op and I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. Could Women's Aid help you?

Don't no but I need out he's vile