Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Nursery forgot to give my baby formula

23 replies

bottomsizeofbrazil · 08/10/2024 22:29

Hi mums!
I'm curious as to how others would handle this situation...
My LG has just turned 11 months old and has been in nursery two days a week for the last 6 weeks. It's a lovely setting and I have been so impressed so far but what happened today has left me really anxious. My LG is breastfed at home but at nursery she has two bottles of formula - one late morning and one mid afternoon. I provide two sterilised bottles in the morning and they send home the used bottles for me to clean and send back the next day. She consistently drinks 6-7 oz twice a day at nursery so far.
The nursery records everything in books that come home with the children each day. When we collect we have a brief handover and usually read the book once we get home for the details of the day.
I have collected her today and the handover was as normal but when I got home I noticed there was no mention of milk in her book. I then noticed that both bottles were still squeaky clean and unused. She seemed extra hungry and unsettled and breastfed much more than usual so I can confidently assume they have forgotten or decided not to give her any milk today.
I immediately called them and left a message. I called once more before they closed without an answer. I have now sent an email asking for clarification as to whether she was given any milk today.
How should I handle this? I feel so emotional that they might have forgotten her and that she was expecting milk but didn't get it. I'm also spiralling thinking that if they have forgotten her milk what else could they be forgetting?
Am I over reacting? Is this common? She is weaned and has 3 meals a day and two snacks so she didn't starve or anything...
I am expecting them to phone me tomorrow and tell me what's happened but I really don't know how to handle it.
Any advice or experience would be appreciated ❤️

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Caele · 08/10/2024 23:31

See what they have to say about it but I wouldn't get too worked up over 1 day. There could be a valid reason.
I think if you make a point of it then they may be a bit more on it in future.

I used to send my son in with a bottle of expressed milk, and the empty dirty bottle would come home. But a couple of times I'd had updates saying he'd had water with all his meals. So made me wonder where the milk had gone 🤔

NuffSaidSam · 08/10/2024 23:37

I wouldn't be happy with this, not because of the milk itself but because it indicates that their procedures aren't working. If they can forget milk they can forget/miss nappies/allergies/medication etc. Unfortunately though I think this probably is fairly common in any nursery environment, it's just a byproduct of having so many children/different staff in one place, stuff gets missed.

Zonder · 08/10/2024 23:39

I'm amazed she wasn't crying with hunger at nursery. This is really shocking. She's 11 months so a lot of her diet will still be milk.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

InfoSecInTheCity · 08/10/2024 23:39

At 11 months and eating 3 meals a day I don't think missing a couple of bottles will do any harm and it may well be that she refused it and rather than leaving a full bottle to stagnate all day they dumped it and gave the bottle a rinse.

Give them a chance to have a conversation with you about it and explain, you say you've been happy with their care for her to date so give them the benefit of the doubt.

bottomsizeofbrazil · 08/10/2024 23:54

InfoSecInTheCity · 08/10/2024 23:39

At 11 months and eating 3 meals a day I don't think missing a couple of bottles will do any harm and it may well be that she refused it and rather than leaving a full bottle to stagnate all day they dumped it and gave the bottle a rinse.

Give them a chance to have a conversation with you about it and explain, you say you've been happy with their care for her to date so give them the benefit of the doubt.

I agree regarding her food intake meaning it won't be doing any harm... she is very good with her food but she hasn't started to reduce milk / breastfeeding yet so I do think she still needs this. I don't expect 'no harm' to be the standard of care provided by them though. This particular nursery advertises the fact that they treat all children as if they were their own. It's a very small setting too!

Absolutely zero risk of them having rinsed the bottles - she's an allergy baby on prescription formula and it takes me at good 5 full minutes of intense scrubbing to get the residue of that stuff off the bottles - she also uses a straw bottle for drinking her milk so even harder to clean and it was 'clean clean' even in the straw.

I will absolutely give them the benefit of the doubt... I just know that I have such a people pleasing nature that if they phone tomorrow and say they have simply forgotten to give her the milk (twice) that I don't know the correct way to handle it.

I respect them so much for caring for my baby but I am so upset that such a fundamental part of her care seems to have been missed. I do accept that it hasn't harmed her but it's not filled me with confidence. It's been difficult returning to work and trusting somebody else with her care for the first time.

OP posts:
bottomsizeofbrazil · 08/10/2024 23:57

Zonder · 08/10/2024 23:39

I'm amazed she wasn't crying with hunger at nursery. This is really shocking. She's 11 months so a lot of her diet will still be milk.

She has just had her first two bottom teeth cut through at the same time 😭 so she has been up and down emotionally due to this. The thought of her crying out of hunger and them thinking it's due to the teething breaks my heart.

OP posts:
bottomsizeofbrazil · 09/10/2024 00:01

NuffSaidSam · 08/10/2024 23:37

I wouldn't be happy with this, not because of the milk itself but because it indicates that their procedures aren't working. If they can forget milk they can forget/miss nappies/allergies/medication etc. Unfortunately though I think this probably is fairly common in any nursery environment, it's just a byproduct of having so many children/different staff in one place, stuff gets missed.

Funny you should say this... she is an allergy baby and is allergic to dairy and soya. This does worry me constantly but their policies around this do seem very thorough. I just don't get how something as simple as milk could be missed for a baby 😭

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 09/10/2024 00:11

Did they record what she had eaten?

CherryDrops89 · 09/10/2024 00:11

I wouldn't be OK with this. She missed both bottles so they didn't follow the procedure twice, and you didn't even get answers on the same day because they didn't answer the phone.

bottomsizeofbrazil · 09/10/2024 00:15

crumblingschools · 09/10/2024 00:11

Did they record what she had eaten?

Yes it said that she ate all of her breakfast, first snack, lunch and second snack. She only 'tried' her dinner though but ate desert. This is all fairly typical though she usually eats the majority of what is offered to her. She usually has 2X 7oz formula on top of her three meals and two snacks.

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 09/10/2024 00:19

I would be very cross about this because they have missed two feeds for her. Be very honest with them, you have been pleased with their care but naturally quite worried now. In future, check her book at pickup - if that delays things well it's down to the nursery and they need to win back your trust.

BarbaraHoward · 09/10/2024 00:20

She's only a few weeks off stopping milk feeds so it won't have done her any physical harm (one of mine drank not a single drop of milk from ten to twelve months from breast, bottle or cup), she was probably grouchy in the morning and then ate a big lunch.

It's not great from a process point of view though. Speak to them tomorrow and ask that they look into what's happened and whether processes need to be tightened.

If she's doing well with her solids it's probably time to start trying to reduce the milk feeds though.

fourelementary · 09/10/2024 00:28

Tbh the amount a baby breastfeeds is often not similar to their milk feeds from bottles as often the act of BFing for an older baby is far more about connection and comfort than milk. So if she had plenty of food and her snacks and water then she maybe genuinely didn’t want the milk. I’d be more concerned if they said she had been upset and they didn’t offer it but at 11 months I wouldn’t fret too much.

I would just want to clarify if she was even offered the milk and if not, why not.

Coruscations · 09/10/2024 00:33

Zonder · 08/10/2024 23:39

I'm amazed she wasn't crying with hunger at nursery. This is really shocking. She's 11 months so a lot of her diet will still be milk.

She had three meals and two snacks, I don't think she was hungry.

Katbum · 09/10/2024 00:39

this is not right at all. I get that no one will care for your baby as you will, but missing feeds is a big oversight.

MumChp · 09/10/2024 01:12

bottomsizeofbrazil · 09/10/2024 00:15

Yes it said that she ate all of her breakfast, first snack, lunch and second snack. She only 'tried' her dinner though but ate desert. This is all fairly typical though she usually eats the majority of what is offered to her. She usually has 2X 7oz formula on top of her three meals and two snacks.

So she didn't starve and was feed. No harm done to your child.

But I would expect an explanation why she wasn't offered the milk as you have an agreement here. Do they think it's time to skip the bottles or? They should have been upfront here if that's the reason.

Most likely the staff wasn't aware of the bottles. Your child had food and snacks and wasn't crying of hunger. It happens if the key worker isn't present. It shouldn't but it does.

mm81736 · 09/10/2024 04:49

We can't guess, I think k you just need to ask.Does she have milk at home on top of those 2 bottles?

RawBloomers · 09/10/2024 05:40

I will absolutely give them the benefit of the doubt... I just know that I have such a people pleasing nature that if they phone tomorrow and say they have simply forgotten to give her the milk (twice) that I don't know the correct way to handle it.

If this happens, you need to ask what they intend to do to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Hopefully they will already have thought about it, but if not ask them to think about it and set a date for a meeting in a day or two to talk about it.

The thing is, if you are going to follow this route, you need to be prepared to withdraw your DC and look elsewhere. That is the only real power you have, so if you think this is an indication of a lack of care and attention that could potentially harm your DC and certainly isn’t what you want for them on a regular basis, you need to be prepared to withdraw them if the nursery isn’t up to demonstrating that they don’t find it acceptable either.

An alternative is to simply say “OKay” as your people pleasing nature wants to and only push things if something else happens too.

It’s difficult because she hasn’t been there long so it’s a bit alarming that she’s missed her milk twice in one day already. If she’d been there a few years and something went wrong on one day out of those years you wouldn’t be as alarmed. But this is early on, it might just be unfortunate and she’ll have years more of great care, or it might be down to fundamental issues at the nursery, and you just can’t tell.

Ohthatsabitshit · 09/10/2024 06:17

I’d be worried that they’ve given someone else’s milk by mistake. It seems unlikely that two scheduled feeds could be missed by anyone who knows her. If she wasn’t offered her formula was she given the correct solid food? The bottles are completely clean so it wasn’t offered at all. I’m not sure there’s any “explanation” that can make what happened ok.

cazcaz2 · 12/01/2025 15:59

Would a one to one childminder be better do you think?

SaintJxmmy · 23/01/2025 21:32

Hi! I was wondering on how your experience has been since? My 9 month old daughter started nursery this week and ive had a similar issue. Picked her up today and her form said she’d had all her 11am and 3pm bottle, but i got home and found one of the ready made formulas unopened and i couldnt tell which bottle was used. I immediately rang and asked for an explanation, to which the baby room manager was extremely apologetic and promised it wouldnt happen again, but explained that shes not sure what has actually happened as a lot of bottles were on the side this afternoon so she’d assumed that her bottle had been fully drank. She was present for the morning bottle and could vouch that was drank but someone else was running the afternoon feed. I know mistakes happen, but thinking of my daughter watching everybody else get a bottle whilst she didn't is truly breaking my heart. Im wondering whether to call the full overall nursery manager tomorrow for a further chat, it was only her third day so it’s not filled me with trust. And painfully, my little girl has seemed to absolutely love it there so far. 😓

2025willbemytime · 23/01/2025 21:39

bottomsizeofbrazil · 09/10/2024 00:15

Yes it said that she ate all of her breakfast, first snack, lunch and second snack. She only 'tried' her dinner though but ate desert. This is all fairly typical though she usually eats the majority of what is offered to her. She usually has 2X 7oz formula on top of her three meals and two snacks.

Interesting she only tried her dinner. I'd have thought having not been giving her milk she might have been hungrier and eaten all her dinner.

They have failed her. You have to advocate for your child as no one else will so be calm but very firm.

bottomsizeofbrazil · 23/01/2025 21:40

SaintJxmmy · 23/01/2025 21:32

Hi! I was wondering on how your experience has been since? My 9 month old daughter started nursery this week and ive had a similar issue. Picked her up today and her form said she’d had all her 11am and 3pm bottle, but i got home and found one of the ready made formulas unopened and i couldnt tell which bottle was used. I immediately rang and asked for an explanation, to which the baby room manager was extremely apologetic and promised it wouldnt happen again, but explained that shes not sure what has actually happened as a lot of bottles were on the side this afternoon so she’d assumed that her bottle had been fully drank. She was present for the morning bottle and could vouch that was drank but someone else was running the afternoon feed. I know mistakes happen, but thinking of my daughter watching everybody else get a bottle whilst she didn't is truly breaking my heart. Im wondering whether to call the full overall nursery manager tomorrow for a further chat, it was only her third day so it’s not filled me with trust. And painfully, my little girl has seemed to absolutely love it there so far. 😓

I'm so sorry that's happened to you and your LO! It's absolutely heartbreaking thinking of them feeling left out or hungry! I would 100% take it further if you aren't happy. They may need to review their policies if they aren't sure what went wrong.

I have to own up that I was wrong on my experience! I ended up speaking to her key worker who assured me she had been given her milk and I was completely unconvinced because of how clean the bottles were. I then went back to the bottles and sniffed them and it was quite clear they had actually been used and they had just very very thoroughly rinsed them which they had never done before. I called them back and apologised and I promised myself I would trust them a bit more going forward as I was quite embarrassed!

I was very anxious in general when my LO started nursery and I was questioning everything and it took a while for me to build trust.

She's a bit older now (15m) and doesn't drink milk anymore and just has the normal meals and water. I rarely worry about her at nursery anymore - it just took a bit of adjustment from me to let go!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page