Toilet training a sharter...

[Changingnameagain]

So as the title suggests I must soon embark on toilet training by 2y9m son. We have October half term planned as the time to try. His speech is good but he often denies he's done a poo in his nappy even when it is stinking the house out.
I am absolutely dreading the whole experience.
He basically sharts a lot. So we get through loads of nappies that aren't even wet because he's done a tiny but very smelly shart that has marked the nappy. Or he will do a very miniscule grain of poo which will sit in between his bum cheeks and smell.
I just don't know how toilet training isn't going to cost us a small fortune in chucking away pants covered in shit. I won't want to wash them in with the rest of our washing and work 4 days a week so don't have time to be doing a wash every single day to accommodate poo pants washes and normal clothing washes.
Any tips or advice from anyone who has been in same boat?!

Use a nappy liner?

Oh this sounds interesting! I hadn't thought of this. Where would I buy them from? Are they disposable or do they require washing?

Can you look at improving his diet? Specifically with more fibre, fruits, vegetables, whole grains etc? It's actually not normal for bowels to behave like this? Apologies if rude, wasn't meant as a criticism... and I think you're correct you'll be getting a lot of messy pants! Unless he's prepared to start going to toilet everytime he needs to pass wind? Doesn't seem realistic 😕.

I don't know as I dont use them but they are flushable liners that go in reusable nappies.

Yes he has been a vegetable refused- aside from an occasional piece of cucumber- for a year now. I tried hiding vegetables in meals and that has just led to him rejecting those meals point blank now. Our eldest was never like this- she had a fussy phase but I feel like this is quite extreme. He will eat fruit and will have 3-5 portions of fruit daily. We only have wholegrain bread options, we've just switched to whole grain pasta and he has porridge or weetabix as his breakfast options. Do you think we should speak to GP for a dietician referral or something? I do feel a bit clueless about it all tbh. He does a proper poo daily too- usually soft but sometimes very hard.

Mmmm I think 3-5 portions of fruit and lots of wholegrain is pretty good actually, for fibre I don't know that fruit is worse than veg- I think fruit is just as good? I do think asking gp is a good idea, his diet doesn't sound too bad, but there must be some way of improving the situation. I don't know that I'd potty train just yet if he's going to be constantly messing himself. Sympathies, I've got one messy pooper too... one very clean bum, one not so!

It sounds as if he has constipation. I wouldn’t even attempt potty training until you get on top of it. He simply won’t have the control. It sounds like he needs disimpaction.

eric.org.uk/advice-for-children-with-constipation/

Although, adding to the above. There is lots you can do whilst you are getting to the bottom of the poo issue.

See Step 1 and 2: eric.org.uk/potty-training/

Also keep a lidded small bucket near your washing machine. Fill with Napisan or equivalent. Drop used pants in there to soak, clean and sterilise until you can get to washing them on hot wash X 2 a week.

Toddler diarreah?

Thank you for sharing this- he is a devil for not drinking enough either. So constipation could definitely be the issue. I will have a look at the Eric site.

My eldest had this from 18 months until nearly 2.5 and so I definitely don't think toddler has same issue. Her poos were basically rarely ever solid. His are always solid although sometimes soft sometimes hard.

Constipation can be a cause. Grim but it’s basically overflow and a medically prescribed clear out would be needed and then time for the feeling to go back to normal. It could also be undiagnosed allergies. My friends DD was diagnosed with a milk allergy at the same age, went diary free and it completely cleared up and she potty trained easily in a week. But it’s definitely not normal and I don’t think it would be fair to try to potty train without getting a medical opinion first as it’d just be setting him up for failure and may lead to longer term issues. Also, his diet sounds fine, yes ideal world he’d eat veggies but I also have a veggie dodger and his toilet habits are fine.

This is a great idea for any sharty pants and nappy liners. Will deffo be investing in this. Thank you for suggesting.

So it's interesting you mention dairy. He was dairy free from 12months as during weaning him he developed eczema and runny bum and it was really hard to get on top of the eczema. So we moved him to almond milk instead of formula and cows milk and we saw a big improvement in eczema and no more runny bum. He's been on almond milk since then but we have introduced some dairy and have found he will tolerate small amounts of cooked cheese without eczema flaring or getting the runs. But I've been too nervous to switch out his milk intake from almond to cow as can't bear the eczema to rear its head again. He drinks 2x 5oz cups of almond milk during day and also has it with morning cereal/porridge.

I will book him into the GP as I agree with those of you who have said it isnt fair to try and train before sorting out the starting and constipation.

I think before attempting potty training, completely forget about it until after you've got his bowel issues looked into and a plan of action sorted for that and then you are likely to have more success. That's not to say he can't be in pull ups and regularly go for a 'try' 90 mins after eating / drinking and before leaving the house / venue but I wouldn't be putting any pressure on him or you to crack it and being completely toilet trained until you've explored other things that might be a barrier to success.

Edit: cross post with your update 😆