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Parenting

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Original poster

parents with hemiplegia??

14 replies

jess1396 · 22/04/2008 18:48

Hi there, one of the things i have always been concerned with my whole life, was when i become i parent will i be able to cope..

The difficulties of mainly using one hand for the day to day tasks of my baby , childs life. ie nappies and dressing etc.

Im about to have my 1st baby at 25 years of age.

Anyone else out there??

OP posts:

hotbot · 22/04/2008 19:43

no experience of this Jess, just wanted to say congrats!!!!!!! and i am sure you will find ways of working around this to you and new babys advantage

pauamcg · 27/04/2008 16:37

Hi Jess

I suffer from hemiplegia, and can only use my left hand.

I had a little boy in 2003 and he is now a lively 4 year old !!

I was the same as you worrying about how I would cope, but I can assure that you just do. I might have been a bit slower getting my baby dressed than other mum's and carried him downstairs whilst siitting on my bum but I managed fine.

Again nappy changing was a bit slower than normal but I devised a knack of doing it !!

I'm sure you will be a great mummy. If you have any particular questions or want any advice or just want to chat than please feel free to contact me - I will be very happy to help.

Original poster

jess1396 · 28/04/2008 09:23

Thats really reasurring to know im not the only one.! im also a leftie.

I have brought a bath mesh seat to wash baby in so my hands are free to wash him.

That would be great to stay in touch and have support, of course if thats ok with you?..

jess

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pauamcg · 28/04/2008 12:02

Hi Jess

No problem at all - Any questions no matter how minor they sound please feel free to ask !!

I also had a bath mesh seat for when baby was small and then moved onto a sturdier seat when he got older and started wriggling. (I think I got it from Blooming Marvellous catalogue). I have to admit when he was small I tended to only bath him when my DH was around. Now he is older it is no problem as he now climbs in and out by himself !!

Please feel free to email at [email protected]

look forward to hearing from you !!

Paula

bondgirl77 · 07/08/2008 16:08

Hi Jess

I just found this section of Mumsnet! I am an able-bodied mum but my DH has no use of his left arm at all following a massive stroke in June last year. He is also learning to walk and talk again.

He doesn't take much of an active part in parenting, but we did order a booklet from the disabled parents network which you might find useful. One woman's story about nappy changing was particularly interesting. She started as soon as her daughter was born giving her verbal 'triggers' when nappy changing. She would raise her legs saying 'up, baby, up' to get the nappy underneath, then would roll her onto her side saying at the same time 'roll, baby, roll!' to get the nappy round. Very early on (I remember thinking that it was extraordinarily early on) the baby responded with just the verbal trigger, rolling by herself and lifting up her hips so this woman could get the nappy underneath.

I think that kids become really adaptable and sense when you need help, the same lady said her daughter dressed herself without fuss and climbed into her own buggy way before other children and was generally really helpful.

I wish you good luck!!
x

desperatehousewifetoo · 17/08/2008 22:28

My dh has a hemi too following a stroke.

He wasn't very hands on when the dcs were babies in terms of nappies, drssing, bathing, etc but as I was at home he probably didn't really need to be! He always managed to get them off to sleep when he pushed the buggy tho.

Dh was able to feed them and worked out ways to do many things with either one hand or a hand and teeth. I would say his biggest difficulty was not the single handedness but his dodgy balance and not being able to bend down or sit on floor.

Dcs are now 6 and 3 years and he pretty much could do everything required (if he wanted to ). He does the bathing and taking to bed as well as the early shift for breakfast before he goes to work. In fact, I would say he is more hands on than many other dads I know.

Congratulations. I'm sure you will be a fab mum.

ps. I like the idea of developing erbal triggers and would love to hear how you get on.

bondgirl77 · 19/04/2010 21:54

bumping because I'm interested to see how you're all getting on 18 months on. My DH has a right hemi following a stroke and sadly hasn't formed a particularly close relationship with our DS, now 2.5. It's a bit of a vicious circle as the less he's been involved, the less DS takes notice of him. DH has stopped making a huge amount of effort to engage with DS, which is sad - I think he is more of an older children type person anyhow, but my main worry is that perhaps you can't replace that early bond that you get the chance to form when they are really young. Anyone else faced this problem?

DaftApeth · 19/04/2010 22:08

Hi Bondgirl, just marking my place for tomorrow.

I was on this thread previously using a different name!

DaftApeth · 20/04/2010 13:41

Bongirl, how independent is your dh? Can you and do you leave him alone to look after ds and can he take him out to the park, for example?

I found with my dh that he needed to find his own feet so to speak and to build up his confidence with the dcs. Leaving them on their own really helped this because I was not around to intervene or for the dcs to come to.

bondgirl77 · 14/07/2010 21:42

Hello DaftApeth, sorry I haven't checked this thread in a long time! Hope you are doing ok.

I worry slightly about leaving DH with DS at this age as he cannot use his right arm at all or move with any significant speed and walks with a stick so if DS were to run off he wouldn't have any way of getting him back. He also has post-stroke epilepsy and although his fits are fortunately not frequent, they do happen and DS would not know what to do if one happened whilst they were out and about alone. Also, DH has speech difficulties so in turn if something happened to DS DH could not, for example, dial 999 and get an ambulance. So I think until the age when DS could be responsible and be able to use a telephone to call me if DH had a fit or run next door or something I would prefer not to leave them alone together.

Recently DH has been reading to DS in the evenings again and this is working well. DS actually requests stories from DH now and it helps with DH's speech. So I think gradually they are beginning to get used to one another!

GillScot · 03/03/2011 10:31

Hi All, I have a support group set up on facebook for parents of children affected by hemiplegia. I would be delighted if you are able to join us. We have over 100 members in just over 1 month! - please email me on [email protected] Thanks, Gill x

GillScot · 03/03/2011 10:32

Hi Mand, I have a support group set up on facebook for parents of children affected by hemiplegia. I would be delighted if you are able to join us. We have over 100 members in just over 1 month! - please email me on [email protected] Thanks, Gill x

bemmabegan · 04/03/2011 11:32

Hi all, I'm a left sided hemi(follwing a stroke) and can only use my right hand plus Im not too great with my left leg either. I have a 6 month dd. I felt very apprehensive about how I was going to cope and still worry about how I'm going to deal with her as she gets bigger and heavier. I have surprised myself though at how well I'm coping but everyday is definately a challenge. I have found also found that being very verbal with my dd from day 1 has also helped her respond to me. I think that planning how I am going to do tasks before hand has certainly helped plus I m fortunate to have a great support from my dh.
If anybody with a disabilty is contemplating pregnancy I can only encourage you whole heartedly to do it. Its the best decision I have ever made!

SarahB2019 · 31/05/2019 08:03

Hi,

I know that your post was a few years ago. I also have left hemi plegia and unable to use left arm and limited use of left leg. I am currently 24 weeks pregnant, due in September. I am constantly worried about how I am going to cope whilst my husband and family are at work with tasks such as picking the baby up, changing, feeding, going out in the car, etc. Any advice would be greatly received.

Thanks
Sarah x

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