Just need a HH newborn

[Jaggy1]

Just looking for other people’s experiences to try and make this seem easier.
the last few days have been torture, baby is 14 days old tomorrow and just absolutely will not be put down. I don’t know if he’s got some kind of reflux/gas/colic kinda thing going on but as soon as he’s in his Moses basket or next to me he’s rolling around crying even if he was absolutely sound asleep. DP and I have been taking turns sleeping at night and day and just getting nothing done, we’re both miserable we miss eachother and spending time together. I try to tell myself this won’t be forever and it will get better but I dont believe it yet. Just looking for people with the same or any advice 😢

I'm really sorry but sometimes they are just like this. I never liked the word colic as it felt like a cop out but it is generally what this sounds like.

Does he have any other signs of reflux or silent reflux? Is he sufficiently burped?

My DS was like this for about 7 months but I did find once he'd been asleep on me for about 15 minutes around 11pm then I could successfully transfer in to the moses basket and would sleep for about 3 hours. This was the only proper sleep I got for many months.

I'm really sorry but its normal. He doesn't know he's not part of you yet. I promise it will get better. Have you any relatives who will hold him while you sleep for a bit/ eat a meal/ shower/ hug each other?

This could well be normal 4th trimester behaviour, it's so hard though and I really feel for you. It does pass!
My daughter couldn't really be put down for the first few weeks, we just had to take turns holding her which is lonely and hard work, but survival is key. I hope things get easier soon ❤️

Oh goodness I remember this! I saw so much nighttime crap tv when mine were young. Have you tried swaddling? It worked wonders with mine.

It's hard, but it's normal and it will get better. DP and I had a schedule of sleeping in 4 hour shifts for DS1 and DS2 for the first few weeks. Do you have any local help? If you can afford it get cook vouchers or something like that for meals. Can you both use a sling? Does he like the pram? It made such a difference to leave the house.

But this is a really tough time.

Honestly the best thing you can do is accept this is how things are and need to be right now. I agonised over it all so much and it only made things worse. You're all brand new to this - it's a massive huge change. It doesn't last forever even though every hour sometimes feels like a lifetime. Pretty much everyone goes through it honestly, this is far far from unique. I'm not saying that in a 'get a grip' way cos it is shit I'm saying it in a 'and we survived/ even had more'

Sounds like it could be silent reflux. I had a similar situation with my son and I found Dr Browns anti reflux bottles helped. I also stopped using the moses basket and bought a next to me crib that was tilted slightly at the top.

You have my sympathies, I'll never forget those days. Things did get a lot better though once solids were introduced so it will pass.

We had this aswell and the one thing that really worked was swaddling her up in a blanket, it worked almost instantly so definitely worth a try.

This link is what we did

vm.tiktok.com/ZGdJPhUP5/

Hope this helps and do remember it doesn't last forever - the first 6 weeks are truly the worst xx

My son was like this. My husband nearly went delirious from lack of sleep.

We bought a dummy after the third night and he finally started sleeping in his bed.

This sounds exactly like my son. He had CMPA

He might be uncomfortable but he's in the forth trimester. We're not ready to be born really when we are. Imagine being carried for months, kept warm and comfortable with a very noisy mothers body going on around him and you're shoved out into the bright, you feel hunger, cold, uncomfortable in the shorts area and have to have bare skin when getting changed and sleep on a flat surface in quiet. Wouldn't you want to cling to the only familer thing you know?

They're not little long. Some babies like the security of a swaddle when they're tight. A top you've worn for smell and just try to kip when you can.

Or enlist someone to take.over so you can get a stretch of sleep

A sling saved my sanity at this point. Didn't mean I got anymore sleep but it did mean I could get off the sofa and potter around.

This too will pass. And the first time he sleeps through for longer than a few hours you will wake in a cold sweat. And the first time he goes down for any significant nap your arms will feel empty. It's tough as fuck but will gradually get better.

My 'newborn' is almost 11 and am lucky if I get a hug once a week. My other 'newborn' is at uni and I miss her grumpy chops around the place. It goes so slow and so quick all at once.

At 2 weeks normal baby if it doesn't start to improve look into silent reflux and cmpa.

I think most of the babies in my NCT class were like this at 2 weeks most between 2 and 4 weeks started to be able to be put down. My daughter didn't and by 10 weeks she was in my arms, and my arms only as daddy wouldn't do, for 23h a day. She had mild physical reflux that the gp was treating with the starting doses of omperazole she missed her severe silent reflux and her food allergies. These weren't diagnosed and treated until 17 weeks!

Lots of time in the sling a pacing. If you are stood up they are happy as they feel you are in a good position to run from predators. If you are sat down there's a chance you might be eaten by a tiger. I kept my ironing board up and used that as a table when pacing so everything was at the right height

Oh boy, those first few weeks are TOUGH! As others have said though, it really will get better. When you’re deep in it, it can be hard to see how things will ever change, but it does.

My DD had dyschezia for the first 3 months so sleep was a real struggle. She was similar to your baby (and most of my friends’ babies tbh!) and rarely slept anywhere other than on me or DP. After breaking down to a midwife on day 10, she suggested co-sleeping. I was reluctant but it really helped. DD would fall asleep next to me (often after feeding lying down) and then I was able to carefully slide her into the Snuzpod crib. Eventually she got more used to her cot and wouldn’t wake so much when placed in it. I know co-sleeping isn’t for everyone but there’s a lot of useful info on the Lullaby Trust site. Babes just can’t bear to be apart from their mums and dads at this age but they’ll learn.

Also, as a bit of a control freak, I had to accept that routines go out the window and everything else just had to wait. Don’t be too hard on yourself about not getting things done.

Good luck and congrats on your boy! Oh, and try to avoid all the miracle ‘advice’ on Instagram and TikTok. It often got my hopes up but was almost always bulls**t and I’d feel like I was doing it ‘wrong’. You’ll find a rhythm and your own techniques as you get to know him - and it will get better!

Bless you

Could be reflux or cmpa or both

Was it a traumatic delivery ?

Swaddling helps

Def go and see a Cranial osteopath for babies

If in south east I can recommend. A very good one

I send many clients (I'm a maternity nurse) to them and really help unhappy babies