Playgroups for under one’s? & social anxiety

[Stardust127]

Hi,

I was just wondering what everyone’s experiences are with playgroups for babies under 1? I’ve seen a few in my area advertised but I am anxious to go to any because my baby is only 3 months old, he doesn’t ‘play’ as such and his interests seem more to be observing the world around him. He also cries, a lot. I also have social anxiety and depression so if I do pluck up the courage to go to a playgroup and any little thing goes wrong I will leave and never go back. I’m also anxious about people talking to me. I am able to mask well but it drains me and makes my anxiety worse.

I don’t know really what I’m looking for, I think just people’s experience of playgroups with very small babies and life as an anxious mom.

thank you xx

Do you have a Sure Start centre near you by any chance? They sometimes have very specific baby sessions. And are generally better organised which makes anxiety a bit easier!

Otherwise, baby sessions at the library are really easy to navigate - much more structured, baby sits on your lap and you sing nursery rhymes and maybe play with a specific toy/musical instrument. Not much awkward hanging about.

Playgroups can be a lifeline with a small baby. It’s worth going for you, even if your baby is too young to play. Being in a different environment with new sights and sounds will be helpful.

Do you have friends you could go to a group with? Or ask on your local FB group for recommendations of friendly playgroups. I’d try a church one as they are run by volunteers from the church rather then busy mums and more likely to go out of their way to welcome you.

have some questions up your sleeve to ask people we small talk

If you don't want to go then you don't have to. Your baby won't miss out but it is a good way of getting out and meeting other new mums.

Don't worry how your baby is, most babies have crying spells at baby groups it's normal.

Are you getting any help for your social anxiety?

Playgroups are not essential for this age group, although they love seeing other babies and it can be an absolute lifeline for mums. But as your child gets older you will be forced into more and more social situations which, for the sake of your child, you will not be able to avoid. So, if you are not already, getting some help might be something to think about.

A d maybe try a playgroup or two. No one will care if your baby is crying; they will be nothing but sympathetic and you may find that getting out of this house lifts your mood. I met some lovely, supportive women at playgroups.

Thank you all. I am going to brave it and go to our first playgroup on Wednesday. If I don’t like it I can leave and that is reassuring to me. I am not getting help for my anxiety or depression. I have tried reaching out in the past but was told (by the particular organisation i was referred to) that they cannot help me, because what I have is rooted from trauma. And that was it, I was sent away. I was supported by a maternity psychologist during pregnancy but she kept messing up and canceling my appts so I walked away from that. That was only to help with pregnancy related stuff anyway though. I tried reaching out a couple of weeks ago but missed the booking deadline because I got very unwell with Covid and admittedly was also scared.

I have social anxiety and I preferred baby and toddler classes to playgroups. They have more structured instructions from a teacher with identical sets of props for each baby, so you spend the time following the actions with your baby and there isn't much time for small talk. Other mums always say how they go to these groups for social interaction with the other mums and that wasn't for me at all! I just liked taking the dc out and they definitely enjoyed all the stimulation and different sets of toys.

We did go to a few stay and plays at children's centres and community halls, which I guess is like a playgroup. But I'd spend the whole time chatting with my baby and showing them all the different toys, and not chatting much to other adults. I was lucky as my dcs have never cried much at these places. From the youngest age they were completely engaged in the activities and were always fascinated by everything around them.

Playgroups aren't necessary for your baby at this age, so don't put any pressure on yourself to go for that reason.

They can be a great place to meet other mums though and get you out of the house/change of scenery so for that reason it'd be good to give it a go if you can.

But either way, you must get help for your anxiety and depression, it will impact your baby long-term if you don't. It's extremely hard work, but it'll be worth it in the long run, use your energy on this first.

This is the perfect age to attend mummy classes with your baby which are mainly really for you. Round here we have , mums and babies book club (adult books), mummy and me sports and exercise classes, mummy and baby cinema sessions.

it won’t be long and baby will be ready to interact with the world so enjoy this next few weeks!

At that age you'd be going for you rather than baby but that is just as gooder reason as any! Go ant socialise I hope you have a lovely experience and meet some lovely mums
Playgroups have been my lifeline

Playgroups for babies and young toddlers are primarily for you to meet and talk to other parents. Not really for your baby. They don’t need socialisation at that age. If you don’t want to talk to other parents, you don’t have to go. Or you could try a class. I did baby yoga and it was wonderful. It’s yoga for you, with your baby there on the mat. It means you are doing stuff, not just having to sit and chat, which is easier if you aren’t someone who loves to talk to randoms. Honestly though, I didn’t really feel I needed to make mum friends, so I tended to give these groups a swerve.

Look for baby massage and baby yoga groups. The focus is on each person and their baby. It is chilled and relaxing and no expectation to socialise but if you get chatting to the people near you, it's a bonus. 3 months is too young for a playgroup as they can't socialise. Baby Sensory classes are good, though.