It's another kids and food one

[Monvelo]

Tldr: kids rude about meals I serve, do I down tools?!

It's gotten to the point I don't know how to approach the food reactions here. Kids are 7 and almost 10. Both are now regularly rude about meals I serve up. Recent examples, 7yo went full dramatics, "WHEN are AcTuAlLY going to cook something I LIKE!" 10yo had a temper tantrum that culminated in telling me school food is just much better. I actually found that pretty hurtful. Earlier this week I was getting a load of stick for not making exciting enough lunch boxes, I think because theirs don't have chocolate bars etc. I usually explain why they've got what they've got, reprimand them in a calm way, if they answer back and won't let it drop they get sent to their room.

I have actually always gone to lengths to accommodate their choices of food. I did baby led weaning and all that jazz. I read books. I learnt things about nutrition. They like completely different foods to each other. DS likes meat and two veg type meals, DD goes through veggie phases and likes things like curry, jacket potatoes. I usually cook from scratch and I consider myself to be an ok cook. I try to balance health, speed, and what people like, over the course of the week. I won't cook separate meals but I will say put fish in for DD and meat for everyone else. Or leave sauce off for ds. I won't force them to finish a meal so long as they've tried everything. I don't let them have something else instead. What I'm going for is, accommodating but not a push over. Clearly not working.

How do I address this? What I want is, them to realise that if they don't hate something, they bloody well eat it, frankly. And a bit of appreciation would be nice, for all the meal planning, all the bloody head scratching about who will eat what, the food shopping, the cooking.

I'm thinking do I down tools? I have booked them onto school lunches all week, even the ones they don't like. Maybe they get sandwiches for tea. But they will probably complain about the bread!!! I've asked DH to cook on days he can. Which will be a bit painful, and I'll have to clean up after 😬

This is long because I'm cross!!!

That sounds difficult! Could you involve them in the meal planning for the week ahead so that they each get at least one meal that is their own choice?
Do they generally get a dessert of any kind afterwards? That can sometimes work as a good bribe to encourage eating a reasonable amount of food.

Teach them gratitude. There are people who are starving.

I don't cook if only trouble. No way. They can have oatmeal.

If they've said they prefer school dinners, school dinners it is.

I'd then do the same meals every single week so they know exactly what's coming and there's no discussion about it. Make it a fortnightly rotation if you're feeling generous. Pin it to the wall. Monday: baked potatoes, Tuesday: curry, Wednesday: pasta bake... and so on.

Tell them this is the new routine and never discuss it again. Then take them to help volunteer at a food bank/soup kitchen for a few evenings.

I might do exactly that @Spudthespanner

Have some stock meals they like and then sometimes try something else.

If they are rude say, that sounded rude if you speak to me like that again there will be a consequence. Explain it's fine to not like something but it's rude to insult someone or to be disrespectful towards them when they have cooked for you. If they continue they lose screen time, pocket money, etc

I would be inclined to go all '70's parent' for a week; you eat what you're given or you go to bed hungry.

Apart from the food issue they should be pulled up for speaking to you so rudely.

We read mine the riot act re mealtime behaviour yesterday.
They aren't generally rude about the content of the meals (if they are we ignore them) and we have a monthly meal plan with ample spaces for individuals to choose.
But they've been slouching, using their fingers, grabbing food, putting food they don't like on other people's plates.
So we've said from today they need to earn TV time after tea with good table manners.