Should getting out the house be this hard?!

[Sahmcharlie]

My LO is coming up 12 weeks and can be quiet fussy, thankfully we have got out the collic stage- however she seems to hate the pram, hate the car and leaving the house can be a really unenjoyable experience, shes very vocal crying when she wants something and will only contact nap after alot of bouncing,

its difficult as i can see alot of parents getting out and about doing classes, walks, but me and baby are both most settled at home but i feel like it restricts what we can do as its a worry when she will have a melt down

do other parents have this same issue? As i only seem to hear the opposite of parents constantly getting out!

The thing I missed most after dd1 was the ability to 'pop out'. I hated the planning, the delays, the inevitable leaking nappy as I put on my shoes, actually arriving somewhere and then she constantly cried. It improves as they get a bit older and need less stuff/you get more practiced.

I found 3-5 months really difficult with both of mine. Both of them went through the same phase of hating any form of transport (sling, car seat, pram) at this age. I think it’s because they are a lot more alert and aware of what’s going on, but their bodies are still completely useless.

Changing to the seat of the pram as opposed to the bassinet was a game changer, as was nailing how to do a back carry with our sling. Both of these things occurred around 5 months, so it’s not too long to wait. I went from struggling to be out to being out all the time, as both decided they wanted to nap on the move from 6 months onwards 🙃 You can also world face the baby with some carriers from around 6 months. DC1 loved this, DC2 preferred being high up on my back.

Afraid both of mine hated the car seat until over 1!

Get yourself to a sling library and find one you find really comfy. That makes it so much easier. But if you're happy at home stay at home. Classes are for mums not babies at that age.

Oh my goodness I could have written this myself, and I am in fact about to post a thread about a similarly specific issue I’m having with my baby (he’s just turned 3 months) . So I have no advice unfortunately but I wanted to just send virtual hugs and say I know exactly how you feel. My situation is quite specific because I have anxiety and depression & likely suffering from complex ptsd. I am going to attempt my first playgroup on Wednesday. Just wanted to let you know you’re absolutely not alone with the whole not getting out thing and worrying about meltdowns. It’s real, and it’s hard. I have a 10 year old too and I can say from my experience with her it does get easier, but of course every baby is different xx

You're not weird to find it hard, OP.
Be pragmatic & not so hard on yourself.

My three month old was similar, hated pram and car seat. A couple of weeks ago I changed pram from bassinet to pushchair and as PP said it was a game changer. DD has good head control and I'm confident pushchair is fine for her despite being a lot younger than the recommended age. I'd give it a go if I was you. Both me and DD are a lot happier.

Thanks for your responses so much relief in knowing its not just you! Keep hearing the phrase ‘ parenting is easier outside!’ And couldnt have had more of an opposite experience!

My baby was similar and I found it so stressful to leave the house. I was so jealous of everyone else who seemed to have babies who were happy to sleep peacefully in their pram wherever they wanted to go.

I had to lug my baby around in a sling for the first 6 months as she would scream if I put her down and even in the sling I had to constantly move around and couldn't just stand still, it was exhausting. It got much easier when we switched to a pushchair at around 6 months and she finally let me put her down.

Hang in there op, it's a tough time but will get much easier. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, there's plenty of time to go out and about once your baby's a bit older and easier.

Give yourself permission to stay home if that is easier. You don't have to go out if you don't want to! With my first I forced myself to go to a myriad of baby groups and travel to visit loads of relatives while the baby screamed.

With my second I happily spent the first months sitting on the sofa eating cake and watching Netflix 😂

Things will get easier. You'll find the right sling or pushchair, baby will fall asleep easier, they'll start solids, moving around will make them sleep better and so on and so on. Everything is a phase!

Don't compare your baby with other babies.

They're all different.

I had one who I had no choice but to take out (DC4) and the experience nearly broke me. Enjoy the settled times you're having indoors.

Don't put pressure on yourself. You don't see the many, many other mothers like yourself who are staying in with their babies because by the nature of things they're not out there. But you're not alone.

This is not quite about the stage you are at but this Michael McIntyre skit came to mind about the joys of leaving the house once you are a parent. Hopefully give you a laugh anyway!

I remember being pregnant with my first and asking friends how it was actually possible that they couldn’t get their teeth cleaned til 5pm some days. Even now I’m past that stage it sounds a bit ridiculous. But some days everything was just impossible, I couldn’t even tell you why! Hang in there.