How are we supposed to get out of the house with a newborn?

[imissmascara]

DS is 2.5 weeks old. I had a c section and am starting to be able to go out for a little bit. But I think we are missing something.

There is a craft market on today in the village that we thought we could go to. But…

DS was late to settle last night so we got up at about 9:30am.
Then he needed a change and to get dressed
Then he had a mammoth feed
DH took DS while I had a quick shower. By the time I came out of the shower, DS was asleep.

He’s been asleep since. And we’re not supposed to wake a sleeping baby. He’s grizzling now though so when he wakes up he is going to need to be changed again, then fed to soothe him.

4pm will be here before we know it and it’s another day we haven’t managed to leave the house.

What are we missing?

Baby carrier 😘

Don't push yourself to be up and about if you don't feel it just yet. But if you do then just go for it.

It just takes a little bit of organisation.

Always have a baby bag packed ready with Nappies, wipes, change of clothes. Include snack and drinks/water for yourself too.

Have your own clothes ready the night before.

Wake up, shower, eat, feed, change the baby in whatever order suits best.

It's ok to pick up a sleeping baby to put them in a pram/car seat. They'll most likely sleep through the journey as the movement can be quite soothing/relaxing for them.

If you're going in the car and the baby is grizzly one of you can always sooth the baby while the other is driving (you just can't pick them up!).

Practice makes it easier.

Oh yes. The school run. With DD2 I was out and about on day three! Into the car seat, out if the car seat, carried into school, couldn't be arsed with prams, where every teacher and secretary had a squeeze. She slept through the whole thing.

It really does get easier OP. Even with my first I made sure I went out for a long walk every day, from about 2 weeks. It really makes a difference to how you feel, and fresh air is great for babies. They both used to spend a lot of time in their prams outside in the garden too. It's great for sleep.

I found going out on foot far easier than in the car at that stage, as baby would sleep in the pram carrycot and then we could leave the house whenever.

But yeah after a C section you shouldn't be doing loads anyway. Lean into the feeding and a good box set!

Pack bottles, nappies, change of clothes beforehand.

Up, feed, shower, dressed, in pram and out.
Rinse and repeat.

Kindly, think about all the families with more than one kid!

DD was on the school run from 5 days old (c section too).

It does seem like a huge ordeal at first, but you soon get into the swing of things. You'll feel much better for getting out and about, even a quick coffee baby group or trip to the shops.

I'd try to time outings for after a feed/change and hope she'd fall asleep.

Congratulations!

You can move or even wake a sleeping baby.

Life goes on and you need to learn and adapt to baby on it. You don't need to stop anything.

That being said you ate only 2.5 weeks post c-section so go easy on yourself. Took me several weeks to do anything after my sections.

Reading this I think new mums fall into two camps...

First camp... baby is only concern and their day revolves that. So getting out feels like an expedition.

Second camp... other responsibilities... other children, or its just them with no other adult, so getting out is essential so they do it, get the practice in and it feels straightforward as they are practised.

So yes, it can feel overwhelming. But once you've done it a couple of times, it feels easier.

Why wouldn't you take him out so young? It's perfectly fine and normal to take a baby of that age out.

I'm old but when my first was born we went to a local village fete when she was 10 days old, we stayed for the evening barbecue, she slept in her pram or was cuddled by us or friends and I breast fed her in public when she needed feeding.

Don't build it up to be a big deal OP, as others have said, pack your bag ready and it's perfectly ok to lift a sleeping baby and put into a car seat or pram. No one would get a thing done if you couldn't pick up a sleeping baby. If he wakes up no harm will come to him at all.

Wake up earlier - everything takes a long time

Accept that you will be tired

Move the sleeping baby as they will fall asleep again. Or get out before they fall asleep

Well we made it out and it was probably one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made. Wish I could turn back the clock.

Lol at getting up earlier - I’m only on 3.5 hours’ sleep as it is.

Ouch :-(

I'd get yourself checked out if you've got any concerns.

Hope you're ok.

Oh, you poor love! Hope you are OK. X

You are being too hard on yourself - getting out of the house at all with a baby this size is an incredible achievement the logistics involved in getting both you and the baby simultaneously clean, fed, in comfortable clothes suitable for leaving the house in, and not in the middle of a total meltdown, takes so much dedication that you frankly deserve a bit of a sit down and a cup of tea to celebrate your achievement. After which it's totally reasonable to go back home uf you've had enough. You're ok. You're not missing anything. You'll get more skilled at the juggling as time goes by.

I think that when you've had a rubbish night the temptation to stay in bed until the baby is awake is overwhelming. If you genuinely want to get out in a short space of time you need to work as a team.
For this morning, I'd have tried to shoot through the shower while DH had the baby and feed as soon as I got out. Dh to shower and dress while you feed and take the baby so you can dress. Once fed you have choices. You can both have breakfast and then head out or head straight out for breakfast with a hopefully sleeping baby.

My kids are older now but there was some baby rearing guru Gina Ford who I think is spectacularly marmite as she subscribes to sleep training and all sorts of methods which MN hates. I did find her description of a daily routine helpful in my postpartum fog though as my DD1 seemed to work to a similar timetable first thing.
Sleep, first am feed, then baby snoozes for 30 mins and is usually awake again. Might be awake for an hour and then crash for 2/3 after another feed. Something like that.
That 30 mins was my window. DH made me breakfast and dressed while I fed her, and then took her or she napped (on a work day when he was gone) while I showered and dressed. I could get out of the house then but if I missed my window that was the morning gone! 😂

At 2.5 weeks post CS I wasn't getting very far though. Be kind to yourself! It is lovely to get out on a sunny Autumn morning though.

I really couldn't have coped with that. My twins were born shortly before covid lockdowns so we didn't go to as many places as we would have normally but we still went out fairly often including a lot of appointments as they were premature and on oxygen. With my now 2 year old we definitely went out almost every day. Expecting no 4 very soon as well. Wonder what going out with 4 will be like 🤣

@imissmascara It's very early days and you're still recovering. You're learning all the stuff! Everything will get easier once you're back to your full strength and you've mastered feeding while having a cup of tea in the village hall, I promise. Be gentle with yourselves.

@imissmascara that’s such bad luck, I really hope you manage to get checked out and that everything is ok. Please don’t let it ruin your confidence - it really sounds like just bad luck!

Sorry to hear this. Honestly I wouldn't put any pressure on yourself I'd try and give yourself another couple of weeks to recover and get used to your new routines and then try again. I watched loads of Netflix in the early days but it doesn't last forever.

It does get easier. I found it easier to change bum even if it didn't really need doing, change clothes and feed (extra big if heading out) and then straight into pram/car seat to get out. We couldn't ever be anywhere dead on time.... but could get out for something like a market or whatever. Depending on how far I'd sometimes have to feed in the car once we got there. As tired as you are, making sure the bag is packed, bottles in, nappy's in and clothes for a blow out ready for the day the night before is a big help. Being up and showered no matter how tired before that morning feed also helps. Worse case for me was I showered the night before but I wasn't feeding her myself she was on bottles so didn't have the sticky feeling or felt I smelt like milk.

I agree with everyone who has said about having your bags prepped.

I had to leave the house with DS1 in tow within two days of getting home to replace a filling that came out when I was on the labour ward and again a few days later for a family funeral several hours’ drive away. Necessity got me out of the house and made me realise you just have to crack on.

When DH went back to work I made a point of showering & dressing before he left for work so he could watch DS, regardless of the night I’d had. It meant all options were open to me. I could head straight back to bed if I needed to, but I was also prepped and ready if I had an appointment or wanted to push the pram around the park for fresh air. Sometimes it helps to have a loose plan and have a crack at achieving it. Good prep makes it more likely to happen.

A friend was following a popular ‘manual’ at the time and was completely hampered by her baby’s regimented nap schedule. Ad hoc stuff like her baby’s vaccination appointments sent her into a tailspin and she missed lots of Mums’ meet-ups because they fell in her daughter’s nap times.

Also, if you plan to have more than one child then baby #2 will have to fit around family life. You might as well build confidence winging it with baby #1. 😄

You're missing the point that ds now dictates everything, including your schedule.

It's that simple.

I’ve just seen you had a fall OP. I hope you didn’t do any serious damage.

Wake him up. Take him out while asleep. Get a proper bedtime routine (I did it from day one). I went out every day after mine were born (I had two sections). And my husband worked away 120 nights of the year. I just did it.