Ergh buggy refusal. But too tired to scoot. What else?

[sellotape12]

2 years 8 months. The great Pushchair Refusal is upon us! Nursery is a 20 min walk home even in the buggy, so I can’t keep doing the 60 mins “walk/ carry” lunacy. He has a Micro scooter but gets bored of it after about two streets. Is there something else I could try? A trike with a handle maybe? A buggy board? I know the micro scooter has a seat and handle but we found it hard to manoeuvre and I cba getting an allen key out every few days.

Or do I wait out the refusal stage and hope he gets back in the buggy sometimes!?

You won't hurt them, bend them in the middle like a karate chop. The most effective thing is to do it like you mean business, any dithering and they sense it and play up even more.

I don’t think most of these comments are particularly helpful as nobody wants to fight their toddler into a pram & have them screaming for god knows how long.
Can you just keep giving the choice - as long as you’re not in a rush & say pram or walk? But don’t carry. If he says his legs hurt etc then into the pram. But just be consistent in saying you won’t carry him.
or bribe him in, what’s his fav snack/thing to do? ‘If you sit in the pram you can have x when home’
good luck!

If you are strong enough to carry him, you are strong enough to put him in the pushchair.

He is 2, you are the adult. It is not a negotiation.

How to get a rigid toddler into a pushchair.

Pick up toddler decisively and place / plonk into pushchair. Use your knee to bend them in half and keep them in place while you close and tighten the straps.

If toddler undoes the buckle I would suggest mittens on a string through sleeves or a buckle cover. Then set off with no discussion and continue to chat factually, ignoring yelling and complaining.

I’m thankfully not at the toddler refusal stage with mine yet but the karate chop comment has be giggling into my cup of tea 🤣

Thanks, yes it is so weird. A practical question yet some people have oddly piled in suggesting I need to overpower him. Not that I wanted to go into this, but I am 5 foot tall, I have a back injury and he’s incredibly, incredibly strong. It is unsafe for me to force-wrestle him into the buggy. End of. Thanks to everyone else for ideas for alternatives or how wait to wait it out with crackers and firmness 😌

A smart trike (they can also carry an umbrella if it's raining.

We used to tie a scarf round the scooter and pull it along too.

Buggy board also worked well for us.

I was also a big fan of the plonk in buggy, knee in their tummy while I did up clips and then briskly set off. I found if they had a toy or a snack or torch to hold they were much happier.

What about a buggy board (if they still make them)? Usually you would have one when you had another child in the buggy but I can't see why you couldn't use it with an empty buggy. Then you could use a combination of all three, allowing him to walk some of the journey. But I do think you need to make it clear that you are in charge without getting into a power struggle.

Rewards for sitting in the buggy? Tasty snack, flapjack etc while sitting in the buggy would work...

I would just force in... If they can't walk. My son is nearly 6 and autistic so still uses a buggy. I find the key is to have your hand with firm pressure over the pelvis obviously not painful while you reach the straps with the other hand. You're not doing anything cruel you are ensuring they are safe.

My method taught to me by late mum was, sing loudly, tickle their neck, your head in their tummy, firm movements. It's about breaking their focus and keeping approach constant.

Of course you don't hurt them but nobody is seriously over powered by a toddler. At that rate they literally would be killing each other with their at times feral behaviour. It's simply fear of hurting them, understandable, but the reality is we have to get over it.

Would we grab forcefully a child from danger? Yes so remember putting that child in the buggy keeps them safe from traffic etc. that may help.

At his age I’d get a balance bike. Much less tiring than a scooter. Or walk and take the buggy.

Op you need to find a way be able to physically control your toddler if not how are you going to keep him safe from running towards a machine or a road? That isn't safe if you can't physically retain him in some fashion.

I get the impact on your spine, I have full sympathy, two discs out and ongoing issues. But I still unfortunately had to wrestle with mine as toddlers to ensure their safety.

While they may have the cognitive understanding on some levels they have rubbish impulse control, design flaw.

Further information on your back injury is actually helpful. I don’t think your height is, particularly relevant however.

Balance bikes seem good for his age range, see tiny one’s zipping along at a fair pace quite often. So perhaps one of those along with firmly holding the line on not carrying him, because as you say, you have a back injury so that will help nothing.

If you can't pick him up and put him in the buggy, I'd be wary of a scooter or balance bike -what if you need to grab him to stop him going into the road or similar?

Yes, this. If you literally can't physically handle him you really shouldn't be walking with him by your side anyway because that wouldnt be safe, what if he suddenly runs or trips into/near traffic?!

I agree with everyone else, walk or buggy and if they can't walk (they don't want to/they're not walking safely/the journey is too long and you're in a rush etc) then it's into the buggy. If you can bribe with a small snack to get them in then great. If not possible or doesn't work then it's tough, they get put in anyway. They usually stop screaming pretty quickly when they realise it's not going to change anything. Consistency is key.

There would be no discussion on this for me. In the buggy, the end.

I get that toddlers can be stubborn and can feel quite strong, but you really can't let them overpower you. They need to be contained, especially when you need to get somewhere or there are potentially dangerous things going on.

I used to bung mine into the pushchair and totally ignore any protests, even if they went on for ages. They usually blew themselves out in the end.

Put in buggy, grab the strap that goes between the legs so they can't do the surfboard slide. Fasten each shoulder strap under arms and pull arms through.

There's no negotiation or reasoning at that age. They're all about ego.

I would try a trike with a handle as I've known toddlers way prefer that. See if you can pick up one cheaply on Facebook marketplace or similar.

Offer the choice of trike or pushchair. If they think they have some choice/ control, that often helps.

Have a special toy you keep in your bag that he can only have when he is sitting in the trike/pushchair. You will have some idea of what is a high currency item for your son but I think stretchy sensory toys can work well ( as long as it is age appropriate). The rule is, when you are in the trike/pushchair with the straps on, then the toy comes out.

Watch out on the type of trike you get. Some are easier to push and steer than others!

Tough shit. Goes in the buggy.

I always advise making them laugh, either with silly faces/voices, or by tickling. When they laugh they can't be rigid and fighting. You get very adept at the quick slide into the seat, and the quick buckle up. And buy the clips that kids can't open, as advised by others up thread.