Did you have different parenting styles for your kids?

[littlepurplerose]

First baby I was routine led. Obsessed with her learning how to self settle and be put down to sleep and sleep through as early as possible without waking. I validated myself as a parents by how well she slept/ would go down.

I am extremely maternal so was always extremely kissy/ cuddly / snuggly and devoted HOURS to playing etc but veeeery focused on routine/ not creating "bad habits".

second baby and I feel completely different. I have her in bed with me. I don't give a flying hoot about feeding routines or creating bad habits. I just want her close and to follow my instincts which is to breastfeed on demand, co sleep and have her on me 24/7.

I didn't I went with follow them and a collection of some hangovers from raising cats 🤣.

I would imagine the second time round you are leaning on your experience rather than the comfort of a book led plan.

Often you have to because you have different availability and are dealing with different kids.
With my 1st I could spend time letting him nap on me or getting him down to sleep. My 2nd I just had to put her down and she would have to cry sometimes as a baby while I dealt with the toddler who was in more immediate danger. I wore her more a lot more too because she was getting carted around to toddler activities.
Now they're older (still toddlers) my 1st is very compliant and listens when you tell him something. The 2nd has much more her own opinion. I have to let her feel like she's chosen to listen in her own time otherwise it risks a tantrum.

Kids are like pancakes, the first one is a throwaway.

Yup. Number 1 had strict routine, meal times, nightly bath time at exactly 6pm every night.

Number 2 had to flex round number 1. Her naps were a lot less structured, fed to sleep with no attempt to get her to self settle, never got a puree and just ate her sister's food mushed up a bit more.

Number 3 is totally feral.

Hahaha this made me giggle... "feral" 😂😂😂

It's made me feel a lot better knowing I'm not alone as I've felt all wierd kinds of guilt over past few days!

Second one was more scheduled as she would accept it and it had to fit round the school run. We weren't good at getting DD1 to nap and didn't get the importance of naptime so did better and had a good nap schedule with DD2. Held of with sugary food for much longer with DD2 as DD1 is a menace around sweets.

I don't think my own perspective in terms of routine etc has been particularly different between my two, but they're very different personalities so what works for one won't necessarily work for the other.

My first had a loose routine, more baby led and flowed easily, but adaptable.... then I had twins when she was 2.....

I went from hippy earth mother to structured routines in the blink of an eye! I would not have been able to cope with 3 of them aged 2 and under!

Hard to remember the early months with my first was 14 years ago now, but i don’t think i was strict with routine particularly, i know i always had dinner, bath, bed strictly in place but naps etc i think i just let her sleep when she was tired, second pretty much the same, 3&4 i had to have more routine as they were twins so had to make sure they fed/changed/napped at the same time else i would never got anything done, 9 years later im on baby number 5 (surprise baby) and i think its maybe my age (i was 18 when i had my first and early 20s when i ‘finished’ having babies lol) but im much more routine led, i worry more about things, like things shes eating, my older 4 went straight onto wotsits, now im reading the label and going to OH “oh my god do you see how much salt are in these” 😂 i dunno why because my older 4 are all perfectly healthy good eaters 🤷🏻‍♀️ i suppose there are soo many more baby snacks now, when i had my older 4 there were rusks and that was about it so they had to have things like wotsits etc xx