What kind of "help" am I looking for?

[magicstar2020]

I'm due to have a c section with by second baby. Expecting a long recovery as fractured spine and pelvis. My son is 4 and has additional needs (no medical training required) and my husband works long hours full time and can't manage everything.
I would like to find someone who can:

• help me 24hrs a day for the first few weeks whilst I recover, as my husband will need to be with my 4 year old over night.
• look after me, the new baby in the days including taking and picking up 4 year old from school.

I feel like I'm looking for another me. It doesn't feel like something a normal nanny (even live in) would fulfil. I'm not sure where to start looking... any ideas?

Won't social services put someone in? They certainly would have 20 yrs back but i'm not up to date with all these budget cutbacks.

Doula, maternity nanny?

Surely you can’t expect somebody to look after you 24 hours a day? They will need to sleep! I assume your DH will take paternity leave? He should be able to look after you and your 4 year old for a couple of weeks and then you can get somebody in to support you after that. I’m not sure what you ask for though, a nanny would look after your child but not you. So maybe a home help? Carer?

Live in nanny?

Of course not. She has a husband, why should social services step in.

OP how about a temporary nanny?

It might be easier to try and find separate people for various roles rather than one person to cover everything eg:
maternity night nurse for baby
nanny for daytime (who would also prepare light meals for you)
cleaner
laundry service

Sounds like more than one person will be needed. No one can be expected to be 'on' 24 hours a day. You need a day nanny and a night nanny, I'd say.

If you are temporarily disabled you can ask for ss assessment for home care but you may need to contribute anyway so maybe better employ who you want directly

Speak to some nanny and home care agencies

A maternity nanny would help you with the baby but would not generally be expected to care for any other children with regards to school pick up, meal prep etc.

When I did maternity nannying I started at 8pm, finished at 7am, so was up when the baby was up, doing all night bottle feeds, had a bit of time to sort baby laundry etc and did a bit of easy meal prep for the mum before I left in the morning. Then I went home and slept! And I only did this for 4 weeks, with weekends off. It was well paid at £250 a shift but I was ‘on’ the whole time.

A live in nanny might do more but they will not be ‘on’ for 24 hours a day and the duties need to be very clearly set out and defined.

You are best off contacting a specialist nanny agency and see what they say. It will not come cheap.

Contact t citizens advice to see what benefits you may qualify for. That would help you pay for assistance if needs be. Or maybe you'd be untitled to a car service free for personal care or something?

I think you need a day nanny, a night nanny, a cleaner and possibly a separate childminder to do pick up and drop off (could keep this longer term?) I imagine it would be very expensive because it will have to be agency and is not a long term contract.

Maternity nurse will do the first few weeks of 24/7 help - although they will need breaks, it won’t be fully 24/7 but is the closest you will get. Costs an arm and a leg. Some are more flexible than others about doing non baby stuff. Best to go via an agency.

Daytime person after that: regular nanny, with baby experience.

Well i can quite assure you they used to - because of the special needs situation.

I was very ill after the birth of DD1 and had a husband in full time work. We didn't qualify for benefits but they sent a home help in every day for weeks to do my housework and help me with the baby.

A friend of mine (again with working DH) had a back injury and could get mobile. She had a toddler and baby. Again, social services sent someone in.

But i am going back 20 years. I guess you are right - it would be ridiculous in this day and age.