How / when did you stop co-sleeping?

[Skyla01]

I am currently co-sleeping with DC2 and have been since birth. Wasn't really planning to do this, but quickly seemed obviously the best way for me to get enough rest while ebf. DH sleeps in the spare room. DC2 is 4.5months old so still very little, and I am enjoying all the sleepy cuddles. However, I'm starting to get a bit nervous about how I get her out of my bed and in to her own cot. Gentle sleep training? In addition, I go to bed with her at 7pm which I don't mind short-term but is quite restrictive, and I get no evening time for myself / DH. And the logistics of a solo bedtime with a toddler who doesn't go to bed until nearer 8pm....!

Anyway, would be grateful to know how / when you stopped co-sleeping, and / or could feed them to sleep then escape for a bit.

I generally co-sleep with my 9 month old, same as you she is ebf so its just much easier, i have now pushed her cotbed alongside my bed and taken the side off so i can bf her and then slide her over into her cot and go downstairs for the evening, most of the night she still sleeps with me as i fall asleep when she is feeding alot of the time so i generally take her up about 7:30/8, come back down about 8:30 and then she wakes about 10/ 10:30 for feed and i will feed her slide her back over to her bed and go to sleep myself then, any time she wakes after that she stays in with me lol xx

@Avie29 thanks for your reply. I would be able to side-car her cot to our bed probably. When did you start doing that? I'm hoping I'll be able to start escaping in a few weeks (I'd prefer to wait until she's nearer 6 months). At the moment she often stirs & re-latches after approx 45min, so I won't get away for long.

We were fully cosleeping until about 6 months. We started by just putting him down in the cot so we could have an evening and then I'd cosleep at the next wake after I'd gone to be. We had a few weeks of very disturbed evenings as he got used to the cot but this worked well to give us evenings back but still good sleep overnight

Our daughter is 4 yrs 4 months and still bedsharing 😀

@Nejnej were there lots of tears as they adjusted to the cot? Worried I'll be too emotionally attached to see it through.

We used a floor bed / mattress on the floor, a small double sized one and started putting them down in there, then when they woke we could go in and get them back to sleep and would either have space to fall asleep with them or if they were asleep before we were we could sneak back to our bed. Gradually they slept longer and we went in less. She still wakes now at 3, not every night but maybe half the time, so we still have space to go in with her but more often than not she will quietly climb in with her dad who is in the spare room as I'm now co-sleeping with baby.

Erm ....when DD was 10 and decided she was quite old enough and just started sleeping in her own bed with no fuss.

I'm a single parent though and it was no bother having her in my bed. Obviously not the same if there are two adults

Ha, our 8y still comes through every night. It's starting to be later though.

Well my 5 and 3 year old are tucked up in my bed where I shall soon join them.

both mine have double beds and so we just chop and change.

Hi OP. I co-slept with my first til 9months (and doing it again with my 2nd currently - similar age to yours).

Re. Being able to feed and leave. We started feeding to sleep and putting her down in her cot for the first part of the night. It never worked until one day it suddenly my did... Maybe around 7months..?? So I recommend not giving up on it if it's not a goer right now. At this age my husband could pat/shush her back to sleep on his shoulder for the first wake which wasn't possible any earlier either (I'd then cosleep from the point I went up to bed).

Re. ending co-sleeping - we did some sleep training at 9 months to break the feed to sleep need as once the evenings got lighter we were no longer able to manage the transfer with her staying asleep and I was desperate to stop cosleeping. The aim was simply to be able to put her down without boob/body contact, but a side effect was that she woke up less too (from every 45mins initially, down to to every 1.5-3hrs - she eventually started sleeping through of her own accord at 19 months). We still had contact or co-sleeping naps for a while longer but stopped nighttime co-sleeping at this point. Happy to elaborate on our version of sleep training if helpful!

Worried you’re too emotionally attached to your infant child?

If that’s how you feel and it’s against your instincts don’t do it.

I moved her cot about a month ago, ive wedged it between my bed and the wall so it doesn’t move, there was a small gap but ive wedged some pillows down there so there is actually a little pillow lip between my bed and hers but she can crawl over it into my bed and crawl back into her bed easy xx

Ours transitioned to going to sleep in their own rooms sometime between 6-12 months. When they woke up, they came in with us (because sleep is important to me and I wasn’t missing sleep wandering around the house settling a baby all night). Once they were in a bed, they could walk themselves into our room. Honestly, we co-slept until they stopped bringing themselves in. With dd, this was sometime around 3-4. With ds, probably around 5. We have a huge bed though and also had a single bed in our room for them, so meant we got lots of sleep and I barely noticed them come in. They both sleep great, all night in their own beds and it was all very uneventful.

Obviously, if you want them not to sleep with you, you can get up and settle them back to sleep in their own rooms. It just takes more effort. I much preferred sleeping!

@Burpcloth can you share your sleep training?

@SunQueen24 whilst I enjoy many aspects of co-sleeping, there are downsides as well. It's working for now but not sure it is sustainable for our family long term, and it might be a bit difficult for me. Will see how things go over the next few months.

@Skyla01
I wanted to drop her needing to feed to sleep so I would feed her standing up, unlatch her just before she dropped off and put her down. I would then only let her relatch on extending intervals (30secs, 1min, 2min etc up to max 6). I would comfort her between, pick her up, talk to her, whatever felt best, but keep putting down awake. I'll be honest, it helped that my daughters temperament was to get furious rather than upset. And at a certain point I would come in and out the room because that felt more appropriate for her.

First night she was asleep after 35mins total, and slept for more than 2hrs which we'd never had before. It took a couple weeks before there were no tears at all, but didn't take as long as the first night thereafter.

I then fed to sleep for the remaining wakes (I wanted to keep her in sleepy mode and didn't want to discourage night feeds if that's what she needed) but for first bedtimes I would put her down awake.

I hope that helps!

ETA: my daughter couldn't pull to standing at 9months which really helped, so she was consistently back in the lie down sleeping position to encourage dropping off. I think it's probably harder when they can stand.