Meltdowns and running off

[Frozenever]

DS has just turned 4 and started reception.

Since he could walk he’s been a runner and hard to contain. He came off reigns at around 3 and things weren’t so bad for a while.

however since starting school he’s coming out really disregulated and hungry and tired and the running off has started again. He’s generally ok on the drop off it’s the pick up.

He wriggles out of holding my hand and bolts and is so distracted by the other kids that he doesn’t hear me shouting.

His new primary school is in the middle of lots of busy roads and I am honestly terrified. We have had one near miss.

He is also having explosive meltdowns. This afternoon was kicking and screaming on the high street floor for 20 mins. I believe it’s fairly common to have meltdowns when starting school though? He is getting so big and strong that he’s hard to restrain. I also have his little sisters buggy too. It’s such a lot.

I just feel so down about it. Dreading every school run. Embarrassed by what other parents think. Terrified of him having an accident.

We have tried punishments, rewards, stop and go games, watching road safety videos.

Anyone have any words of wisdom?

I'd put him on reins, that's really dangerous considering you've had a near miss and it's only a month in.

I would try taking a drink and snack plus use reins.

He may not be ready for a long school day, can you take him out until he is 5 ? Or ask the school to let him only do mornings or afternoons. It is not a legal requirement that he be in school full time at 4.

One thing I did, was 15mins play on the playground at school before going home.

It’s so tough when they are one of the younger ones isnt it. It is normal for them to hold it together all day then let it all out when they see you, but its not easy to deal with this behaviour at all. Could you ask the teacher for help - could he come out a little later than the others and you could give him a snack on the empty playground then? Or do they have an afterschool provision - could he go there for a short while so he’s not coming out with all the others?
The road safety point is the most important. My friend had this issue and she would bring a rucksack with a rein to pickup. Her DS would het to have his snack from inside it as long as he put it on. They do paw patrol, bluey etc ones now.

Definitely food before you try to leave school. And maybe a double buggy.

So much empathy. My 4 year old is absolutely hideous after school. Mostly holds his sh*t together during the day then explodes come 3pm.

I bring a snack to school and quite often I’ll get him home on the buggy board if it looks like he is going to run off/kick off. Do you own one of these?

My DD is the same, I agree with others on snacks, ideally something that takes a while to eat like apple or crisps to distract longer.

DD gets over tired and over stimulated and has the worst tantrums, and doesn't listen but usually resolved with snacks.

Wrist strap, food and a drink and for some children a run around a park works well to transition from school to home. If you really don't want to use a wrist strap / reins a rucksack with a chest strap and a grab handle.

Can you greet him with his favourite snack and drink and sit on a bench near to school?
Might calm him down a bit before you start the walk. If not for safety reasons I would have to put the reins back on.
I'd explain if you run off then you will need your reins on.

Can he ride on the pram? On a footstool?