Returned to work - like maternity leave never happened

[newmumabouttown]

I’m trying to understand what’s going on in my brain, and if it’s normal.

I’ve just had my second day of returning to work after nine months of maternity leave. I’ve just slotted straight back in, and when I’ve been at work it’s like I was never away, which makes me feel like the last nine months never happened and was all a dream, or something that lasted a matter of days not months.

Context is I’ve been so happy with my new baby, and other than how relentless and hard the days can be all alone with a baby, I’ve loved it. Going back to work, I miss him, but I really love the time I’ve got back for simple things like going out for a coffee or having intellectual chat.

What’s going on, why does it feel like the last nine months never happened?

my DH made a wonderful point that I just have to see how happy and connected DS is with me to see how much the time we have spent has had an impact. But I’m struggling to cling on / not lose the last nine months in my head.

Your workplace is familiar to you. You probably worked there longer than the 9 months your child has been around, so it is like going back to "real" life. It doesn't mean you love your child any less.

Sounds like you've had the best of both worlds, stop over thinking, be glad going back has been straightforward, take joy in the fact you had a great nine months with your baby at home.
You know it happened you have photos etc. As pp said you've been at work longer than the baby has been around. It's like when you come home from holiday and a day later the holiday feels like a distant memory. That's all.
Your baby is still there to enjoy, life just has a different shape now and if you're missing him a little that proves the last nine months happened! 🙂

I’d second not to over think. You’ve had a lovely 9 months, you’re back at work and enjoying it, you got home and baby was happy.

All is well.

It doesn’t need to be a drama, happy mothers can also be happy at work. It’s all good. Your memories haven’t disappeared, you’re just happy and moving forward

It's kind of code switching. Do you feel like when you're at work, you're pretending baby never happened?

It takes a while to assimilate your work self and home self and understand how they relate, where you put your energy etc.

Basically this might be a honeymoon period and shit gets real when baby gets sick/keeps you up all night/resists going to nursery etc.i always found it a complete mindfuck to decide if child was sick enough to warrant me missing work, or too sick to get my parents to care for them etc.

It’s like going on holiday, you soon just get back into the swing of things. I felt like this, although it didn’t upset me. Sounds awful, but I’d forget I have a child and be in total work mode!! Doesn’t mean I don’t love my family!

Perception of time isn’t linear.
It loops.
Your brain has just looped back to when you were last at work and picked it up from there.

It’s why we can see old friends and slot back in with them as if no time had passed or if you go to the same campsite every year it feels like you never left.

I felt the same when I went back to work, and for me that was a good thing. I'd heard a lot of horror stories about mums needing loads of time to get their heads back in the game, losing skills, forgetting how to function etc, so I was pleasantly surprised when it all came back immediately. I'd been doing the job for 11 years, so much longer than I'd been away parenting - it was familiar and it felt like my old life.

I liked (and still like) having different modes - when work is stressful it's good to be able to come home and switch to mum mode and likewise when my toddler's in a difficult phase the office feels like a sweet relief! (When we were potty training earlier this year I can't tell you how much I looked forward to not talking about wee and poo all day...)

Thanks, this is most thoughtful reply.

I’m not sure why others are assuming I’m creating a drama. I’m more intrigued about what my brain is doing, and if anyone else found the same. The holiday analogy is a good one.

Thanks, all about trying to enjoy the best of each part of our life!

That’s interesting, totally understand what you mean with the point on old friends.