How to respond to newborn fussing vs crying

[Hann376]

3 week old newborn will mostly only sleep when held or moving in a pram. When we transfer her to her crib she eventually wakes up and starts fussing.

when she fussed she looks distressed and makes upset noises (but not full on cries) for a couple of minutes then sometimes stops and sometimes closes eyes again or stays awake.

should we respond to this as though it is full on crying as she seems distressed or should we let her self soothe?

i thought babies weren’t supposed to self soothe so young and I’m so worried about leaving her upset when she needs a cuddle / feeding and the long term damage this could cause but also worried about her never being able to settle independently.

obviousky if the fussing leads to full on crying we obviously pick her up and cuddle / feed her but sometimes at night if we fall asleep and she has a few hours where we’ve not heard her I worry she’s been awake distressed (but not screaming loud enough to wake us up).

My advice would be to wind, wind and wind some more. Throughout the day, anytime you are holding her after a feed keep her close and wind. Babies at 3 weeks should be able to be put down, it's when they are older it's harder. But right now focus on her being comfortable.
Get any trapped wind out by lightly pushing up her back, tapping her back after a fed and randomly in the day by rubbing her tummy clockwise, bicycle her legs and lift her legs up to her chest for 3 seconds.
Good luck xx

If I though they weren't settling I used to lay a hand softly on there tummy. Sometimes it was enough for them to drift off. If it wasn't then they probably needed more feeding

There's a difference between what I call a grumble and a cry. Sometimes they do just grumble for a bit before settling. I think it's definitely worth giving it a bit of time before rushing in. Of course if they're crying it's different. Like a previous poster mentioned, a warm hand on their tummy can also help just soothe them enough to nod off.

She's a tiny baby, cuddle her!

She's three weeks old!! She's not "fussing" she's probably got wind

Is she healthy, full term gaining weight nicely? If yes then I’d ignore grumbling. More often than not, I found that by ignoring it they’d fall asleep. I figured out early on with DD that picking her up actually escalated it and then she’d be more upset, overtired and impossible to settle. But a couple of minutes of grumbling and she’d be off to sleep for hours. Her brother was the same. They both made a weird not crying repetitive sort of moan to put themselves to sleep for ages, can’t remember when it stopped but think it was over 1. Babies are weird!!

You know your own baby so don’t be afraid to trust your own instincts that tell you it’s a grumble and not a proper cry! If they do need something eg a feed it’ll kick up a gear and you can spring into action. And don’t worry about what’s happened whilst you’ve been asleep, if it didn’t wake either of you then it clearly wasn’t loud and she wasn’t distressed.

(The only time I’d say to use caution is if she’s not gaining weight as expected, or if there other health issues eg newborn jaundice as that can make them sleepy and you probably do want to be offering a feed at every grumble if that’s the case.)

Also have a 3 week old & I think it depends on the level of fussing. If your instincts aren't telling you to pick them up it's most likely fine to leave them a few minutes to see if they'll fall asleep. If mine is lightly grumbling I'll stick the soother in and see if he settles. If he's louder I know it's wind & pick him up.

Swaddling is great too, and making sure the crib isn't cold when I put him in it. You've probably already tried it but some babies need white noise / movement for a successful transfer. The gadgets that rock the pram are meant to be great for it.

Self soothing is a bit of a myth for babies too.