How to get baby to sleep in crib

[Hann376]

we are really struggling to get 4 week old to settle and stay asleep unless she is being held (or we are out walking her in the pram) - normally after I have breastfed her we hold her for 20 mins or so in case she has wind and then swaddle her and put her in the next to me cot (or Moses basket in the day) - she normally wakes up soon after - the longest we have gone is around 40-60 mins and normally she is distressed and the only thing that comforts her is feeding her again which means she is being breastfed every hour / hour and a half.

is It a case of keep trying to put her down in the crib or to wait it out and keep holding her all night until she develops the skills to self settle in a few weeks (hopefully!!!) ?

last night we both fell asleep after putting her in crib and woke up to her crying 4 hours later - I felt so bad as must mean she was awake the whole time fussing or had to self soothe which I have heard is really bad when they’re this young and could cause attachment issues ?

I would hold her during the day, but I quite liked a contact nap! Night time is harder because there's the risk of being so tired you fall asleep in an unsafe position. There's things you can try that might work - white noise, putting a hot water bottle in the cot before she goes in so that there's not a temperature change from your arms, putting a muslin that you've had next to your skin in the cot so it smells like you - but all babies are different. With DS1 time and perseverance worked and he started sleeping longer stretches in the cot. With DS2 we ended up cosleeping as I felt that I was so tired I was in danger of falling asleep while holding him. He's still a rubbish sleeper!

Feeding every 1-1.5 hours is totally normal, I wouldn't expect her to be going much longer than that for several months yet. The fact you got a four hour stretch is great! I'm sure you'll have woken when she started crying, and as long as you then got her and cuddled/fed her she'll know that you'll come if she needs you which is exactly what she needs to know.
What saved me was breastfeeding lying down. It takes a bit of practice but means that you can doze while she feeds and then you can bedshare (if you follow the lullaby trust guidelines for safe sleep) and all get a lot more sleep. I tried a moses basket with my first, and quickly gave up. Both kids gradually became able to sleep without being cuddled but it wasn't until about ten months. I'd have lost my mind trying to get them to settle in a cot if I'd kept trying for that long. I wasn't prepared to sleep train or let them cry.

Sounds Totally Typical. Nearly broke me with my first as I wasn't really expecting it, I thought she'd sleep in her cot and wake for a feed every 3 hours or so. Ha. She slept on my chest for 8 weeks. When DTwins were 4 weeks old it was a disaster. i honestly didn't think I could get through the sleep deprivation and DH was deeply alarmed when one night I told him to to take one of them before I threw them out of the window..... DC4 was a much better sleeper though. Some babies are just easier than others. When they are tiny there really isn't much you can do, they are a bundle of instincts and you can't communicate with them. It will inrpove in time. In the short term, do what you need to do to get through it - take turns to sleep, or ask someone to take baby for a long pram walk so you can nap.

Both my babies were like this. I'd hold them in my arms after breastfeeding and be convinced they were in a really deep sleep but the moment they were put down in the crib or soon after they would start screaming and I would end up feeding again to resettle. I tried everything, hot water bottle in crib, white noise, something smelling of me in the crib, nothing worked, they would only sleep on me. So with both I just ended up bedsharing and fed in the lying down position and it was bliss. They were happy sleeping next to me in bed and they could latch on and off to feed as they pleased and I got long stretches of sleep without being woken. I think around 3 months old with both they got significantly better at sleeping in the crib and were happy to be put down. The newborn sleeping stage is tough but I promise it gets better.