Late night events with baby

[msp2023]

Hello!

I know there's no right or wrong.. I just really wanted to see how other parents manage late night events with their little ones (or did at this age).

I have an 8 month old who normally sleeps by around 8pm (not an inflicted bedtime, have always just followed her cues).
Up until now, I've always avoided a late/loud night event etc because I just knew she wouldn't enjoy it, would be tired/cranky and it would be down to me to deal with it.
I would be happy to deal with it if it was a super important family event etc where I felt we should be there.

Most of my family are super understanding, some ahem in laws are not. They don't understand why we choose not to attend such events etc.

Would love to hear how others handle this type of situation? (Not how to deal with in laws but more so attending late/loud events at night with their babies).

I just decline invitations unless I specifically want to go and it's rare such as to a wedding. I remember someone telling me it's fine she'll sleep in the pushchair if she's tired enough. Well she didn't. She screamed for an hour because it was sensory overload at a party even with ear defenders, so at that young age something has to be really worthwhile to not be home for 8pm. Prioritise your baby.

Like you we simply wouldn't go, unless it were a very special occasion, close family wedding or suchlike.

It would need to be something worth having a grumpy tired baby for.

What is it they're trying to get you to attend? I think late / loud events are inappropriate for a baby. Ours certainly has limited tolerance for being stuck in one place indoors (away from home where his toys etc are) at any time of day.

We didn’t have a portable baby. She wouldn’t sleep on the go. We might push bedtime, but ultimately never stayed out very late.

My oldest is nearly 7 and we've done fine not attending late things with him. I have no interest in things past 6pm with littles. I prefer them to be rested in bed and me to have a peaceful evening.

Definitely never went to anything in the evening with a baby other than a wedding or Christmas. Both of which are family friendly and allow a lot of flexibility (you can walk around and you can leave anytime). I can’t think of anything else in the evening that would really be appropriate - in-laws fancy birthday dinner at a restaurant, nope, not child friendly, Dh would have gone on his own.

I would decline invitations until i am able to attend on my own. I'm not too fussed about missing out for a relatively short period of time, and definitely wouldn't want to try and take my baby- she would hate it! But some people have babies which are more tolerant of a late bedtime, and they might be able to get something to work.

I go, and just push her nap back a bit earlier in the day, put her in a carrier at the event if she's getting a bit fussy and she'll normally fall asleep on me.
I wouldn't do it generally on nursery days but tbh many weekends if we visit family or friends we keep her up later so that we can socialise. She loves my family though so its for her too.

My 4 were happy to sleep in the pushchair if we went out to family parties etc. or they just kept going, it was amazing how late they lasted sometimes! Maybe mine were just used to noise/chaos being in a busy, fairly large family!

We generally just didn't go as a family. Or one would go and the other would stay home with the baby. No one seemed to be bothered, it's only a short period of a child's life where they are so dependant. Alternatively, for dinner parties we have gone with a travel cot and put DS to bed in a spare room and brought the baby monitor with us. When he'd wake for his 11pm/midnight feed we'd feed him, pop him in the car and straight into bed when we'd get home and he'd go straight back to sleep.

DS has just turned one and solidly sleeps through the night so we have just got to a stage where we are happy putting him down to sleep at his grandparents. We go out once he is settled and all they have to do is watch the baby monitor.
We do have some friends though that have more portable babies who will sleep in the buggy and that works for them. I just can't relax and enjoy a drink knowing I have DS with me.

When she was younger, probably up to 10 months old, it would be ok as she would sleep on the breast, sling, she would sleep in the pram but had to be moving so if it was an indoors event/just at a family members house she'd sling or bf to sleep
However then she preferred to be in her own room, past 12 months she wouldn't feed to sleep would be rocked in her chair, would find it harder to sleep in general so I didn't go anywhere
I'll only stay at family members houses till late as then she can eat her tea, be ok playing etc then sleep in the car home, she'd wake and be upset for a bit at being changed and settled in her PJ's etc but then go to bed fine
I've a few later evening things planned as it's darker/Christmas light event type things hopefully she'll be ok as above, she usually fights her sleep so would rather stay awake she isn't the sort to get tired and overstimulated but if she was I'd just stay home. They're not little forever and I do like her bedtime routine

Very small babies can sometimes be bought out in the evening and quietly feed or sleep but not 8 month olds or toddlers. We kept to early evening events except if it was a wedding. At weddings we'd take the pushchair and an extra blanket and try to get them to sleep in a quiet corner but I don't think it worked often!

We don’t go or one of us goes and stays with baby. The one event we couldn’t decline (would’ve just been socially unacceptable) was utterly horrendous and I will never do it again as he just screamed and I just walked about with his pram trying to get him to sleep!

Thank you all. It's so nice to hear other parents' views on this and see that so many of you have the same thoughts as me!

What kind of events and how often? I don't think we got invited to anything in the evening when we had babies. Before babies we would have been out to pubs and restaurants and gigs often enough with other friends but everyone just assumed that was off the cards for a while.

Wedding/religious events. We have multiple events that include late nights with dancing, drinking, music etc :)