7 year old boy being silly at school

[LDG1979]

Hi, I have a 7 year old boy who says he is being bullied by the other kids at school. We found out from the teacher his silly behaviour in class is leading the other kids to react negatively to him, which I think fuels the silly behaviour and is now a never ending cycle. He only has one good friend in his class which is great, but the other kids seem to get annoyed by him and his antics and then don't want to be his friend. He has always been a bit of a 'silly' kid, makes funny faces, funny noises, pulls faces and often thinks he is acting funny - he does this at home so I can definitely see how this could be irritating at school. Not sure how to deal with this, any suggestions?

Have you spoken to him and explained how his silly behaviour is causing problems?

It's horrible that kids can't be themselves anymore. I think I'd remind him that he needs to be paying attention to the teacher and his work at school and to save silly stuff for playtime with his friend. I also have a 7 year old that has a similar personality type to your son! I think as he's getting older he is finding his tribe though. Spent a couple of years worrying about him too!

You think it’s horrible that kids need to stop acting like clowns during school time? Other kids wants to get on with the work and get fed up of sitting waiting while the teacher has to go over and over things or deal with idiot kids.

Class clowns are not cute or “just embracing themselves.” They’re bloody annoying and their parents should be dealing with it.

Hi, yes I feel like we talk to him about it constantly :(

Did you read my post ? Did I say it was cute? I said he should save it for the playground with his friend. Calm down 😂 he doesn't deserve to be bullied because of it.

He isn’t being billed. The other kids just can’t be bothered with him so aren’t his friends. That’s not bullying. That’s just not being friends with the class clown. And probably a few “will you just shut ups” thrown in.

A slight over reaction, and here I thought this was a safe place to ask for help....

Perhaps it's time for consequences as it's having a detrimental effect. He's unpopular and disruptive. Could you speak to the teacher and come up with a plan?

He's 7. Pulling faces and making noises is very likely annoying in a classroom and needs to be worked on. Don't think you need to refer to him as an 'idiot kid' though tbh, you seem quite angry...kids do eventually mature and grow out of pulling faces.

Obviously his behaviour is a problem, but I'm a little surprised the school hasn't tried to address this with him, and with you, before it got to this point? This kind of silly immature behaviour can just be a sign of immaturity, but could also be a sign of neurodiversity. But I would expect the school to be proactively trying to manage it for the sake of both your child and the rest of the class?

Have you asked his teacher what she is putting in place and how you can further support this?

Yes - we are planning to have a sit down with the teacher to come up with some strategies at home and school

But trying to get others attention when they’re trying to do something else in this case work isn’t just being a child.

OP is he less mature than his peers? Younger in the year? More fidgetty? Not used to being the centre of attention? Lacking in confidence? - This one is often the main cause of children being the class clown.

I haven't explored the neurodiversity angle yet. We have had some incidents over the last 12 months about his silliness, so it's not completely new behaviour, however it just seems to be causing more issues now

Does he have learning difficulties and is struggling with the level of work?

Consider a school move, it sounds like you have landed in one of those schools that demands children navigate in very narrow parameters. They are basically moaning about nothing

This was happening with my nephew when he was 5.- clowning around, acting silly, deliberately falling over. The other kids didn't want to sit with him or play with him. My sister was really upset as the school kept saying he was naughty. I persuaded my sister to have a meeting with his teacher and with my mums encouragement, she pushed for an educational psychologists assessment and it turned out he was dyspraxic and dyslexic - with hindsight and knowing him so well I would think he is high functioning ASD

No, in fact he is keeping up with his work and exceling in some areas

Are these involuntary tics? I think you need to get to the bottom of why this is occurring. If he understands that it is causing people to stay away from him and get him into trouble at school, but still continues, there is some kind of issue. Either psychological barrier, or a tic condition like tourettes maybe? Has he seen any kind of therapist to work out what is driving it amd could you afford to pay for one?

Yes, @redcolouredpencils I was also wondering about that.

But either way, the school should be working with you to address it rather than throwing their hands up and saying, "he's silly so the other children don't like him, it's his fault". He's 7. It's their job to be helping him learn to navigate this and/or to be signposting if there are additional issues.

What language are you using when you talk to him?

I'm thinking if you're using words like being a clown/his usual funny self/a bit silly it might be harder for him to understand the severity rather than the reality of annoying/irritating/disruptive.