I’m just so overwhelmed

[Queenofheartsmama]

Hi all,
just wanting to vent really and see if others are feeling similarly…
I have 2 DCs (3 and 6), a lovely home, job I mostly enjoy, a supportive partner. But I feel so overwhelmed all of the time! Always thinking of what to do next, what needs to be packed/prepared for the next day, what presents to buy for yet another kids birthday party, when to fit in anything for me (or doing anything for the part-time course I’m doing as part of my job), piles of stuff around the house that needs to be boxed up, gotten rid off etc, the list is endless. I’m wishing for a week with nothing to do but then I also want to do stuff with the kids. The kids are lovely but their constant demands and mess are also overwhelming me.

I know parenting is tough, and work, but I have it easier than most yet sometimes I find myself wishing my life away, getting snappy or just not enjoying things as much as I wish I could…

Yup! Not far behind you with 2 kids aged 5 and 2. I try to be nice and kind and involved, but then I get driven up the wall by bickering. Husband handles the bills, but day to day things fall squarely on my shoulders. Large portions of the house needs redecorating (I'm much better at it), but finding time, energy when the house is tidy enough to start is proving problematic.

Are you full time? Is your husband full time? If both of you work fairly equal hours then is he doing as much of this stuff as you are?

I feel like this all the time with a 2 year old and 6 month old so this doesn’t give me much hope 😂 no advice, it’s so so hard.

Yup I feel you. Life is relentless and hard as fuck with young kids and work. I can only hope it improves as they get older because I honestly don't enjoy life much.

I totally get it. I could write this post. Life with work and young kids is overwhelming. For me it’s the relentless pursuit, nothing is ever done to be enjoyed, everything is so rushed.
I have burned out so much that I don’t even do much with the kids anymore which is heartbreaking for me. We’ve always done things when free but now I just lost the will completely and don’t know how to get it back.
Sorry no advice, just wanted to say you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed x

Are most who have posted so far working full time? I’m on mat leave at the moment and nervous about going back because of time pressures

I only have 1 DC. But I found it much easier after 4. Big difference. 4 till 10 was a joy. Best years of my life probably x

Thank you all! It’s so reassuring (as well as sad) to hear that it’s not just me…

I work 4 days a week with a job that isn’t too bad hours wise (but a 45 minute commute each way) and it’s fulfilling but emotionally draining at the same time. So I feel that empties my cup already. Partner works about 20 hours more per week but hates his job (which pays the bills and he bears the brunt of the financial stress and worries) so he does what he can at home and is a fantastic dad but I do the rest of the mental load in terms of remembering when PE is, what vaccinations need to be arranged, whether we have any clean clothes, what classes they need to be taken to… all of this sounds so trivial and I realise we are so fortunate to “only” have to worry about this but it still adds up to so much at least in my head… sometimes I just wanna be on a desert island but I know I also wouldn’t be happy with that…

I really hope 4-10 will be the joyous years! I don’t just want to wait until they’re grown up because then I’ll just live full of regrets that I didn’t enjoy it enough whilst they were little

gosh so much! I hear you, relentless pursuit is a good way of putting it!
why is it like this? Is motherhood just meant to be hard?

My little girl said to me the other day (as she was colouring at the table and I was cleaning up the kitchen)-'mummy I feel so sorry for you having to do all those jobs-you deserve a day off!' She then said 'I wish you were a kid so you didn't have as much to do' X I could have cried!

Parenting would be a totally different experience if it wasn't for all the life admin, cleaning, cooking and washing that needs to be done around it!!! X

It gets easier. I have loved late primary. We do both work FT but as DSs have got older there’s just more space in my life. This afternoon they played in the garden (they’re 11 and 8) whilst I read a book and ate chocolates. Chores we do between DH and me and so at various points laundry was done, food was cooked, beds were changed and the online shopping order was completed. And I played a board game with DS1. But because the DSs can self entertain for longish periods we also got time to ourselves.

To be fair when I had a baby and a 3-year-old I barely recognised myself! So in some ways it has gotten easier, work gives me a bit of a sense of self and we can occasionally leave the kids with the grand parents (about twice a year, but it helps!). The children are much less demanding than when they were a baby and a toddler but the play dates, parties and school stuff to organise has definitely added to the load in a different way…

Ooh and also yes omg the school associated admin! Buying pressies for parties, remembering PE days, reading every night, spelling practice, 'wear X to school day' every other week! School has made life a lot harder I feel! X

so this was meant in response to OopsieeDaisy

Sending big hugs! It does get easier. Mine are 17, 16 and 12 now; at newborn, 4 and 5, I nearly lost my mind!

See if you can sneak out for at least an evening a week to just be you. X

I made a similar post about this. I'm finding it joyless. Only have one, but I'm older with needy parents and a difficult dog and stressful jobs.
I find the constant planning and mess very overwhelming tbh.

I have posted recently about thinking of having another child but honestly 1 is for me. We do get some down time as dad has him 2 nights a week. I remember doing everything from age 1.5 to 4 and I was on my knees. Throw in covid and being a key worker

I'm also hoping the 4-10 years are good. I'm enjoying it so far with my daughter, and while I know I will miss him, I know that life will be so much easier when my son is in school as well.