Almost 4 year old biting - when does it stop?!

[Vebar2020]

Has anyone else experienced a "biting" child and when does it stop 😫. Our son is almost 4 years old, he bites and hits - sometimes when we say no, sometimes when excited and playing, and other times just because he wants to (there's no pattern with hunger/tired/emotions etc). We've had so many professionals involved and they're all telling us he will outgrow it - but my question is when?! I'm getting concerned as he will be starting school next year :( really worries me that he is still biting. Thanks

Is he in nursery, if so, what do they say?

which professionals? If my son was biting at 4 years old I wouldn't be waiting for it to stop, there would be consequences for him.

Babies bite because mouthing is their way of exploring the world.

With toddlers, it tends to be a mixture of not recognising their emotions and physical sensations; not having the language to explain those feelings and/or not yet having developed impulse control.

How is your ds's language? If he has difficulties, is he getting support?
Have any professionals suggested that there might be SN?
What strategies do nursery use? Are they having any success with these?

4 is old for this as he’s old enough to understand consequences for his actions. You’re going to need absolute consistency and a definite consequence when he bites. Obviously you’ll need to decide what this is but stick with it despite the fact it will be hard in the beginning. You’re right to want to stop it before school as being the child known as the biting one makes everything hard. I’m surprised professionals haven’t offered better advice.
What are his language skills like? Can he express himself and communicate well?

He is in nursery, we have support from SEN manager, his vision support team, portage (for possible autism) we've had a family support officer in - unfortunately non have been able to spot a pattern, or have been able to stop it.

Obviously we put in consequences and we stick to them...but they do not work. There's been loads of other methods installed by the professionals for when hes at home/nursery, but they haven't worked either. We have explored every method and support network, and we are exhausted.

We do know he Struggles to communicate, but again we've had all the support with no conclusive findings. The next step is to go private- but I'm loathed to spend a fortune on someone not giving us any answers.

It was just a desperate plea to know if anyone else has had a biter, and at what age it will hopefully stop :(. We're at our wits end with it

Your last post gives much more information- what additional needs does he have?

If you're on a pathway to diagnose SEN, that's different. I'd post on the SEN board for better advice

I’m so no confused by your post. What do you mean at what ‘age’ will it stop? No four year old I’ve ever met bites at this age. So it’s very likely this is a reflection of your child’s additional needs rather than something they’re likely to outgrow

This is not helpful. SEN or otherwise the OP's child may well outgrow biting. SEN children's behaviours are not static their entire lives and strategies can be used to manage behaviours.

My dd went through a biting phase but she only bit me and she had outgrown it by your ds's age.

Given your updates, it sounds as if this is tied up with his SN. You're clearly doing everything possible and I get your frustration but it doesn't sound as if it's something he will just outgrow.

It may be related to the child’s additional needs which would change how you would deal with it - it wouldn’t mean that you wouldn’t try using different strategies or that those new strategies wouldn’t work

@Vebar2020 just wondering if you've found the SN Children Section yet? It doesn't show up in the active threads so you're likely to other MNers who have DC with SN replying

This is the whole purpose of my post. It’s clearly gone over your head

Ours is 5 and has reduced to almost never the past six months. Suspected asd and adhd

Help me understand this @FS90 since your writing is apparently so cryptic as to be over my head

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So it’s very likely this is a reflection of your child’s additional needs rather than something they’re likely to outgrow

I'm saying SEN children can and do outgrow behaviours, whereas your post here says that the biting is a reflection of their additional needs and not something they will likely outgrow.

You sound like a great mum! It's usually about finding the reason behind the behaviour. I know it's easy to say than done. Some possibilities are sensory overload, impulsivity, receptive or/and expressive language problems, not knowing what's next, emotional dysregulation, low frustration tolerance, lack of social skills, life being too unpredictable. Have you tried social stories? teach them what to do in that situation instead of biting, breathing to calm down or asking for help, using words.... Do you use visual schedules to make everything more predictable for them? There is always a reason.

You can try sandwich method instead of saying no. How it works is that put no in-between two positive statements. " I know you want to stay in the playground- but we have to go know-we will come again tomorrow". ". I see you want that toy- I can't buy it now- but I can buy it for your birthday". It depends on their language skills. Consistency is also very important.

If he's being assessed and has language delay I'm not sure those methods would work. Great advice if a DC is NT though

My son was a biter and it continued until year 1 at school.

he has a speech disorder and a stammer and he was doing it when a child was doing something to him that he didn’t like and he couldn’t get his words out or make himself understood to get the child to stop. So he very quickly learnt that biting stopped the situation immediately and got a faster response.

it was awful at the time, he received every punishment going (within reason) but it didn’t stop the biting.

he just stopped doing it at the end of year 1.

My son was a biter until year 1. Excellent communication skills and a lovely boy but very emotional. I was at my wits end too. There were consequences from me and natural social exclusion. Nothing worked. Until he stopped. We just kept a very clear eye on him to prevent it or time out/telling off as soon as it happened and he stopped.

Mine is nearly five and still bites when frustrated. We have been working hard on giving him alternatives and working out what the cause of the need for release is. Just yelling or saying I doesn’t work for him like it does for meeker kids!

My brother used to find one of these sensory chews useful when he was younger and had the urge to bite down on something www.sensorydirect.com/behaviour/biting