Secondary schools- what would you do ?

[Wiggleroomm]

do?!

My daughter is ten years old. She’s very sensitive, she likes to feel nurtured and supported. She is also very bright, sociable and creative. She can be shy in large groups, and she also can struggle and get overwhelmed with school work / reading. I would say she is not ‘academic’ but she does well enough, she could do a lot better if she pushed herself and realized how capable she is.

We have choice of following secondarys:

Choice 1: very small state school (500 in total), most of her friends are going, very heart Centred however known to be underfunded, under resourced, disorganized and never pick up phone. Ofsted rating good and they do well enough in league tables.

Choice 2: very large state school, rated one of the top 5 schools in county alongside 4 grammar schools. 2300 kids. Exceptional teaching, facilities and buildings. (Only built a few years ago so very modern, spacious and swish) academic so push children but also lots of clubs and societies. Ofsted rating outstanding.

I’ve looked round both, my daughter changes her mind constantly and doesn’t have a preference. She changed every day and feels it’s too hard a choice. She likes the idea of a fresh start and exciting new school but worried about size and missing her friends. The small school is also very tired looking, shabby etc.

Ultimately I want her to do well academically but most importantly want her to be happy.

I’ve asked other parents who all have mixed experiences with both, but the bigger school
Is the most recommended.

I feel like perhaps she’d be more suited to smaller school but at same time I don’t want to hold her back when the big school could be a chance for her to grow and shine .✨

Any advice / experiences / opinions most welcome!! Thanks

I'd definitely go for Option 2

If she doesn't struggle to make friends I'd say option 2. Big schools are usually divided up into houses and teaching blocks etc and so she won't be mixing with the whole year. It can still have a supportive feel where students are well known to staff within their house. However, friends are important, so if she really wants to go with all her friends I would allow that. You probably have to push her to come to a decision regarding her preference.

Unfortunately they don’t. Divide them into houses unless for sport and have no plans to do so… she doesn’t seem that fussed about staying with her friends atm but I worry when the time comes that she will regret her choice

How convenient is the travel to each of them? (I say that as someone who chose the secondary school that is over 3 miles away over the one that is 400m away for my kids. It was definitely the right decision for a number of reasons but when it is pouring with rain or snowing or they have food tech I do rather doubt my decision!)

If you can get into one of the top five state schools in the country I think you'd be daft not to

Oh county ! Sorry

What suits your daughter best - what does she need from a school and which one can offer that the best.

because secondary school decisions should be based on the child - mine go to separate high schools because the highly academic grammar that my daughter needed is not the highly focussed on pastoral care school my son needed

all that matters is what is the right fit for her

from reading your post I think you know the smaller school suits her better than the big one and I get it the choice for DS did mean forgoing a couple of others that unless you know DS you could wonder why I made the decision - even now if asked how I find it I still say it is the best school for him (although I say the same for the grammar)

also there is a lot of movement at 6th form and even potentially before if you made the wrong decision

Option 2. Seems the only benefit to 1 is the small size - which I’m not even convinced is a benefit as can be limiting.

It’s not in the country but in the county.

I have worked in a school with about 2000 students.

It's very very easy for students to get "lost" in it.

The academic are picked for competitions and often have gifted and talented activities they are offered.

The sporty do a wide range of clubs (and thus us s big advantage of a big school - lots of sports and clubs) but the PE dept don't need to nurture students as there are lots of really sporty kids wanting to be in the team.

As a big school they may be more able to put on plays, musicals etc which can be a really good experience for many teens. But again, if she's not got a lot of confidence she might want to go for it but will be edged out by kids who have been doing drama since 3.

So there is more on offer but the "normal" kids who don't do sport or art or music to a high level don't always get a look in.

The same applies to GCSEs - a big school will usually offer more choice - but this is only really helpful if your child has always had an ambition to do Japanese/whatever GCSE.

If she is sensitive and shy and needs nurturing I'd consider the smaller school and try to get her involved in stuff,

2 without a doubt. I think the negatives you’re implying, ie. Larger, she will have to speak up to be noticed and heard will prepare her for life after school.

I was in a similar situation last year. Choice was between a good small secondary that was very nurturing, and an outstanding top in the county secondary. I chose the smaller more nurturing school and my daughter is happy there. It’s still early days of course but I think I made the right choice.

On paper option 2 is best but from experience with my DD, I would go option 1. I wish we had gone option 1 as it's taken 3 years for her to settle but she's not the same happy, confident child she was in year 6.

The second. Assuming she can get there straightforwardly.

fwiw my y7 has just gone from a small one form entry primary to a massive secondary, 10 classes per year, well over 2,000 kids.
Seems to be loving it so far.

I would try to talk to children and/or parents who go to option 2 and see what the pastoral care is like. You have said option 1 is "heart centred", which seems to be it's only good point, but there is nothing to say that option 2 is actually NOT "heart centred". It being bigger suggests that maybe good pastoral care is harder, but actually even a big school can do this well if it matters to them. Unless you find out anything about the pastoral care not being good, I'd say go for option 2 with more positives and few negatives. As for friends, they will change and even if your daughter goes with her friends they may be in different classes/form groups/houses and might not overlap that much.

How much streaming does the bigger school do? Some of the more academic state schools, especially the bigger ones, have sets for most subjects which effectively means they have a grammar stream. The school experience can be very different depending which sets you are in. Ofsted ratings can also be a bit misleading. I have worked in outstanding schools that are genuinely outstanding and also ones that have been given outstanding because the teachers do the best they can with the children they have got. Look at the girl/boy ratio as well as it makes a big difference.

How do find out girl / boy ratio? And what’s different does it make ?

That depends on the year though I think DS (Yesr 7) all around here is girl heavy!

It usually says on the Ofsted report. They are available online. Schools reflect society and there are about 25 men in prison to every 1 woman. If you want less bad behaviour and disruption in the classroom, you improve the odds by choosing the school with a higher ratio of girls.

Take the choice. Your child I shouldn’t be making the decision.

I would go option 1, academic achievement isn't everything and I think happy children learn better anyway. It's not like option 1 is a terrible school.
DD1 has gone to an academic excellent rated school (her choice), she is doing well there and is happy and we would love DD2 to go too, but DD2 is insisting she wants to go to a different school nearer home where most of her friends are going. DD2 is more sensitive and can be anxious and I think being around her friends will be very important to her - so we're probably going to send her to the school she wants.

What ate the subject options like at GCSE for both? Bigger schools often have the luxury of being able to put on the less popular subjects (for example, my DDs school offers Animal care, construction, photography, 2 languages etc... its a medium sized school (just increased to 240 per year).

My kids chose the 2300 pupil, outstanding, decrepit school over the 600, outstanding, modern school.
Both are loving it. My quiet, introverted, youngest doesn't appear overlooked (although perhaps him looking like a mini version of his brother who everyone knows helps there!).
I work (not with the kids) in a 500 pupil school. I'm actually quite glad my kids are somewhere bigger. It's too small to have all the sports teams and musical / drama opportunities a larger school can offer. It's pastoral side is phenomenal tho - no kid can hide.

As others have said, look at the journey. I'd also look at the extra curricula side too.

In our area you put down 3 preferences and basically you can be lucky or not( not get any of your choices).
First child get none of the choices and we had to appeal to get into any local school.
Second child had to go to same. Third child got 3rd choice and 4th child had to go to same.
It was the first time I ever felt something was completely out of my control.

I hope your daughter ends up being happy whatever you decide.