How to get child to eat better? Picky eater

[Jada2024]

Looking for ways to get my son to eat healthier. Things I can try hidden or not.
Recently he will only eat processed foods chicken nuggets and pizza. The only decent dinner I can get him to eat is ham and mash once the meat is mashed in with the potatoes I can also mash some turnip up with this. He has this dinner maybe once a week. This is the only vegetable he eats. He used to eat spaghetti bolognese but is now refusing it saying he doesn't like it.
I don't feel he's getting enough of any food group. Its also difficult trying to get him to eat lunches in school. And for breakfast he has maybe a spoon or 2 of some chocolate cereal. He used to eat porridge but now refuses it.

He wastes so much food and the only foods getting in to him isn't very healthy. I'm not sure what to try

I'm in a similar situation. The only ways I can get any veg into my son is by giving him an Ella's Kitchen pouch as a bedtime snack (he's 6), or by doing hidden veg in a pasta dish or in a pizza sauce. It's really frustrating.

I have completely given up on veg, I just insist they eat fruit and serve it with the main meal.

Various doctors seem to think this is basically ok. One told ne that things like strawberries and cantaloupe melon (with colour) are best as they have more key nutrients.

I don't feel like this is my greatest parenting success but you have to pick battles you can win....

Do not turn food into a battle field. You can make it worse.

Hiding veg is unwise. It doesn't help your child overcome the mental barriers about eating veg.

Have a week of zero-pressure eating where you aren't even mentioning the existence of any food that isn't on the "safe" list. He needs that space.

Then subsequehtly each meal his plate can be 75% things you know he likes - not so much that he'll feel full. Plus a small portion of something "new". Have a short list of "new" things that are not too different from things he likes. Do not do anything whatsoever to try to persuade or force him to try the "new" thing. It may need to be on his plate at 10 different meals before he even licks it.

There’s nothing wrong with hiding veg and offering visible veg as well. Don’t give up offering with no pressure, even though the waste is hard to watch. Offer him first and save what he doesn’t eat for yourself either at that meal or later.

Cannellini beans mash beautifully into potatoes. You can put cheese in them to mask it further if you want but not needed. With Parmesan it’s actually super tasty and great for adults too

Cannelini beans will also blend very nicely and flavourlessly into a tomato based pizza sauce, pasta sauce, soups.

Cannellini also blend flavourlessly into smoothies. Add hemp seeds, chia, flaxseed oil etc for healthy fats.

Steamed cauliflower will also blend flavourlesly into a smoothie if it’s a small amount. Freeze portions of smoothie for ice lollies.

if you google the blog “MJ and Hungryman” her muffin recipes are excelllent. The carrot and banana one can accomodate a huge amount of veg. I have found all you need to do is make sure the fruit/veg total adds up to the correct weight -I think it’s 430g. You can use the grated beetroot, carrot, parsnip, mashed sweet potato, pumpkin, cooked apple, banana. It all works well, try different combos just have a mix of sweet fruit/veg in there. I skip the syrup/sugar in the recipe and they’re still great. I also use some almond flour to up the protein.

Make your own chicken nuggets and put ground nuts in the crumb.

if they eat avocado on a sandwich, blend some lemon, edamame and cannellini beans with salt and pepper and spread onto sandwiches that you toast with melted cheese. Even my husband didn’t know it wasn’t really avocado.

Pancake batter can easily take a whole carrot using a fine grater. Mash in banana too.

Mix cottage cheese (super high protein) into cooked berries with chia seeds to make a fruity creamy spread and put it on the pancakes.

I've never tried those pouches so worth a try! I feel like I'm spending most of my money on foods he won't eat

What fruit do you give? He used to eat blueberries but not anymore doesn't like kiwis. Occasionally will eat an apple, orange or banana but more likely he will stick a pencil in them and play with them 🤦‍♀️

I actually don't put a lot of pressure on food despite the fact that it's frustrating for me.
I try to make it fun letting him pick things to try from shops. I've gone weeks with not mentioning any foods at all just asking him what he wants to eat or giving options. He will just ask for the same handful of things.
I've just not mentioned things at all and not put them on his plate just on mine. He will tell me that my plate of food looks disgusting even if I say nothing.
He eats the turnip in mash with no issues I don't know if he knows its in there or not being honest. It's just how we make it ourselves sometimes.
I've never actually forced him to eat anything. I just ask him if he wants to try it.

Thanks for the suggestions. The only one I've tried is making chicken nuggets. I didn't even put anything in the crumb and he still wouldn't eat it unfortunately.
We do home made pizzas he likes to put the toppings on them so I'll try experimenting with the sauce. He likes to make smoothies although doesn't tend to drink them just likes the process!
He also enjoys baking not sure if it would be better to let him make the muffins with fruit/veg or better if he doesn't know about it

Hi problem eater here too. Advice I've seen repeatedly is not to ask them what they want. Of course they're going to pick their favourites. The guidance says we pick what goes on the plate, they pick what goes in their tummy. We always put one rock solid safe food on the plate, always put veg and then usually something else which they sometimes have and sometimes don't. Agree on waste, but we're persevering. Recently had a breakthrough on cucumber after maybe two years of nothing green. I nearly cried! We found a fortnight meal planner helped to keep us on the straight and narrow offering sufficient variety and so we didn't get blown off course by tantrums.

@Jada2024 I read on here there's a school putting lentils into their pizza sauce, and it's 'best pizza ever' according to the poster's child.

Will he eat potato wedges? And will he help make food - if you chop the potato, would he use his hands to swirls them around a bowl with oil and seasoning / herbs? Might he try other veggies as wedges? Pretty much any root vegetable works well to make 'colourful chips', things like carrots, beetroot, sweet potato, squash, celeriac, alongside normal spuds.

I've found it helps with my kids to remind them when they're trying something new that it WILL taste and feel different in their mouths than all the other foods they've had before, so that they're not just immediately going to reject the 'newness', but to ask them to take time to think about the taste and flavour and texture.

Another idea - might he eat a homemade flapjack? If so, might you be able to add dried fruits / nuts / seeds for extra nutrition, and, when the time is right, give you the opportunity to discuss with him that he has tried something new / different and liked it in the context of that new thing, and so it might be OK to try other new things now and again.

Would he eat carrot cake? If so, there are loads of recipes for cakes containing other vegetables, e.g. courgette, beetroot, sweet potato, butternut squash / other squash / pumpkin, parsnip - might these be a route to show him that he can like things made with vegetables, and maybe spark an interest and curiosity in food, and break down some of the resistance to try new things?

One thing I did which helped us get veg into one of our kids was adding a teaspoon of sugar to stir-fried veg (one teaspoon spread across an amount to serve the whole family, not a teaspoon per person) - that bit of sweetness was just enough to encourage one of my kids to enjoy the veg, and I reduced it to zero sugar over the next two or three times we had that meal without them noticing.

@Shoopstoop "
Cannellini also blend flavourlessly into smoothies. Add hemp seeds, chia, flaxseed oil etc for healthy fats."

I bet you think you can disguise a worming pill in a cat's dinner too!🤣

How old is he?

If he enjoys baking maybe get him making carrot cake, or chocolate muffins with courgettes.

I find if I'm not in the mood to eat have a selection, like a bento box helps.

My carer has a real problem with some foods, it tends to be with texture and memories of his mum trying to force feed him.

After knowing him for 20 years he will now try something occasionally - I sound like I'm his mum, but he is here a lot and we both have to eat.

Can you build on what he does like? Eg the mashed potato, would he try sweet potato?

Maybe a few chives? Obviously only do a spoonful of mash with chives in and leave the rest how he likes it.

Will he eat meatballs? Or meatloaf? easy to hide some veg in them and cereals.

I’ve always followed the division of responsibility. My job is to provide what and when they eat and theirs is to decide how much of it they eat.

I know it sounds obvious, but they are not going to eat something that is not offered to them. Not sure if you still put vegetable/fruit etc on his plate with each meal but I always do even if I know they haven’t eaten thst thing for ages. My son has been off spag bol for a few months when he used to love it. We had it last week and as usual I served him a small portion (alongside other food I know he eats) and he actually ate it all for the first time in months and wanted more!

You could also try getting them to serve themselves. Put platters of the food in the middle of the table and they serve you and themselves.

@Sunsflowetsinthegarden "I’ve always followed the division of responsibility. My job is to provide what and when they eat and theirs is to decide how much of it they eat"

My mother used to say "It's your job to provide good healthy food they like. It's their job to decide whether they want to eat it."

Scary, but true.

This is such good advice. Do not make specific meals for him. Make 1 meal and all eat together. Ideally something everyone can serve / construct themselves. Don’t offer any alternatives.

I found some success with my picky eater by letting him put his 'new' food on cocktail sticks. I offer a few things I know he will eat plus one new thing and he makes the skewers himself. If he has the new food he is also allowed the tomato dippy sauce. We started out with ketchup, then moved to low sugar, then zero sugar and now a homemade version. We did it very slowly and had no complaints. Look up food chaining, we found it helpful to move our son gradually to healthier options.

@Jada2024 they both eat quite a lot of melon. Also pear, apple, strawberries. DD will eat blueberries and blackberries but DS won't.

At least fruit is easy to put on the plate without time and effort spent cooking it!

Such a stressful time and age with food. Really feel for you.
unless he’s underweight - he’s probably getting enough so try to stay calm about it as I think they pick up on panic and then when it’s pushed they refuse as it’s a little way of them exerting their control.
So main things that worked for me was trying to stay calm; we never had snacks - maybe some fruit after school so my daughter was always very hungry by her lunch, dinner and breakfast; we ate the same meals together as often as physically possibly given I worked full time - but certainly nights I picked up at weekend. If she didn’t like the meal she had to try one mouthful. And if she hated it, she could have some toast or pasta but she had to try. She had to stay at table with me whilst I was eating and we chatted together.

I did this from 2yo and the start resulted in a few meals being thrown across the room!!! But she did try them and they became favourites!!

Most of the time if he's not asked what he wants he won't eat the food when it's made... I try offering options like will we have spaghetti bolognese or will we make it with pasta instead of spaghetti. Offering a few options would sometimes work before but not anymore.
I'll try the combination of offering a dinner with a safe food on the plate also

No to flapjacks not home made or store bought unfortunately. I bought chocolate chip ones recently hoping that it might encourage him to eat them as at least the oats in it would be a somewhat decent snack in the mornings. He did take a bite but spat it out saying it was disgusting.
I'm not sure re carrot cake but it's worth a try.
And I'll try the stir fried veg with sugar also.

Carrot cake is a good shout. Even DS (who has sensory processing issues and is incredibly stubborn) will eat it.

He hasn't eaten potato wedges when I tried but yes he's willing to help make food. I made sweet potato in to fries recently which he was actually interested in and took a bite of one and spat it out. That time he actually said they tasted of normal fries but that he just wasn't hungry...
Not a bad idea to get him to swirl the food around in oil and seasoning he'd probably enjoy that part.

He's 7.
I'll try the baking with veg. He loves to bake but doesn't always eat what he bakes. He'd be willing to experiment when it comes to baking for sure but not sure if he'd actually eat it.
I've never actually forced him to eat anything I've only ever gently encouraged tasting the food before deciding.
He actually picked up meatballs last week (I encourage him to look at foods in shops and see if there's something he wants to try sometimes it's easier to get him to try if he's decided he wants it)
He ate 1 and a half small meatballs.
Maybe they will become a food that he likes

I have actually stopped putting the food he doesn't like on his plate recently in the hopes that maybe that would cause some curiosity around it.
When given the options he just takes the foods he likes