Toddler refusing dinner but then wakes up demanding milk

[Matronic6]

2 and a half year old has for the last couple weeks ate very little at dinner but then wakes up around 1 or 2 wanting milk. Which we end up having to give her just to get her back to sleep.

She also has had a persistent cough for the last 2 weeks that at some points is so bad it wakes her up and stops her from getting back to sleep. She is usually a very reliable sleeper, down at 7:30 and up at 6:30 so this disruption has hit us hard.

We do try to follow a schedule for food, copied nursery timing to make sure she is hungry. She eats ok during the day but the evening meal is the problem. She has also been far more fussy about food and refusing food she previously ate happily.

Now also concerned the regular night bottles have formed a habit that we can't seem to break.

Starting to lose my mind with exhaustion. Any advice welcome. Thanks in advance.

My son has always gone off food when he has a cough. He just can't be bothered. I try to give him more at breakfast and lunch when he fancies food more. By the end of the day he's tired. When he's not well like that he has a big glass of milk before bed and something like toast if he wants it.

Dinner might also need to be earlier than you'd imagine. Dinner for mine is 4 but sometimes as early as 3:30 because he's just so tired he can't face eating later. Bed by 6.

Oh I've just seen it's a bottle. I'd stop that immediately and switch to a sippy cup. Son is 3 and occasionally he wakes in the night (usually when unwell) and asks for a cup of milk. I give a sippy cup because he's drowsy and I don't want it spilling. He takes a big drink and doesn't get to keep the cup. He has a bottle of water he can reach all night.

My mother told me she fed me a peanut butter sandwich just before bed almost every night at that age. Otherwise I would wake up starving.

I agree that if she's a little under the weather then she's likely to be off food a bit. I find yoghurt quite useful when you want to get something in them but they're not feeling up to much.

Offer supper.
Try a humidifer for her cough. Is it cold related or do you think she could have asthma?

How are her nappies? When my daughter does this, it's usually that she's a bit constipated. Once she goes poop she eats normal again.

Just to add to this, my son has regular night time coughs and we have an inhaler prescribed that does wonders. Vicks on back and chest also helps a lot.

Think of it this way OP- if you had a cough that woke you in the night, you may well want to go get a drink of your choice to soothe it. It's fine if she wants a drink.

What can help a cough:

Inhaler (if asthma/viral wheeze related)
Vicks
Olbas oil in a diffuser
Slightly higher pillow (not too high) or pillow under the mattress to raise it up a bit at one end
Saline spray if the cough is not being helped by a blocked nose/post nasal drip
Steamy shower/bath before bed (few drops of Olbas oil on the tiles

Could you give her a bottle before she does to sleep? Then if she wakes up for a bottle in the night you know she isn't hungry and can try other ways to soothe her.

Dinner isn’t the hill to die on but milk in a bottle overnight should be as it’s ruinous for teeth. I’d let her have something filling and simple after dinner but before bed- cereal, toast, banana, that sort of thing. Then water only in a cup overnight. Harder in a cot but once in a bed I sent mine to bed with a no spill sippy cup, specifically a straw cup filled halfway so they couldn’t drink it without sitting up, and then they could sort themselves once thirsty.

She does have a very lingering cough every 3 to 4 months it seems. They do tend to go on for ages but every time we have brought to the doctor they say her chest is clear it will be a drop at the back of her throat causing irritation.

We do baby Vicks and a humidifier with olbas drops at min but seems as soon as she lies down for any length she starts coughing.

@Matronic6

Does she have a pillow? I upgraded my (just) 3 year old to an adult pillow rather than the thin toddler one and it helps.

You shouldn't give them deep, squashy pillows or pillows that are too high. But something a step up from a toddler pillow could help.

She is a bit poorly and too tired to eat at dinner time.
Get her nourishment into her earlier in the day. Give her food that is easy to eat and digest. PP have given good suggestions regarding the cough. She needs extra fluids if she has a respiratory infection going on, so think about how you are going to top up. Soup, jelly, anything wet that is easy to eat.
Poorly children always regress developmentally. You have to treat them as if they are about 2 to 3 months younger than their chronological age and try to be patient, allow them to recover and convalesce.