So I’ve made a few posts on various places on here about my now ex partner.
To summarise, for our son’s first 11 months of life he did nothing for him, so I left. He’s now 13 months old and Ex also has a 4.5 year old son who he sees every weekend.
As ex has been so uninvolved with our DS whole life even when we were together, I don’t want him to have our son alone. I know he’s a good dad (albeit a “Disney dad”) but he also parents in many ways that I don’t agree with. My own fault for having a baby with him I know. eg eating habits, bedtime, no routines, not getting dressed all day, and the worst one for me, he’s recently started sharing a bed with his 4.5 year old every weekend purely because he can, he sleeps very well on his own and has done his whole life! He also sold DS nursery furniture when I left so doesn’t have a cot for him.
my DS is a terrible sleeper, and I don’t want to form bad habits with him bed sharing with dad (and his half brother!!!!) along with the obvious risks that can bring.
i have also witnessed him “struggling” when he has both boys together (with me there!), it almost seems he can’t love 2 at once and can only pay attention to 1 at a time, leaving the other one out and sending them away when they come over if he’s playing with 1 of them.
I worry he wouldn’t watch his eldest with our baby, he happily leaves them in the room with the dog (who is 13 and a saint but still could turn at any point as could any animal), and I worry he wouldn’t provide the right level of care, and would be mean to him if he cried. His eldest has deliberately hurt baby before and has said some very nasty things to baby, which was repeated from hearing dad say them.
However, I don’t want my son to grow up not knowing his dad, and asking why half brother gets to stay but he can’t. When he’s good he’s really good, but I feel I can’t risk DS being upset.
any advice appreciated.