Another kids party question…

[littleoldme3]

Hosting first child’s birthday party and have only been to one 😅 Can anyone tell me what’s the “norm” here…

• soft play party - kids are catered for with a buffet provided by the venue (all allergens etc dealt with). Kids are 4 so parents will be staying. Do I feed the parents? 10-12noon if that makes a difference. Or do I just tell them to order drinks/cakes etc and have them put on a tab for me to clear at the end of the party? We have exclusive use of the venue.
• Cake - there are a couple of dietary requirements so I was planning individual cupcakes labelled for each of the kids in boxes rather than slices of cakes in party bag. Is it bad form still to have a “proper cake” if it’s not being cut?

Anything else I should take into account?

Buy everyone a drink on arrival. They can sort themselves after

Cake plan is fine.

Be prepared for extra kids.

Parents will be fine to buy their own drinks/snacks and there is no expectation you’ll pay. If there is leftover food after the children eat, parents will pick at that. The few times I provided food specifically for parents, no one touched a thing, but did eat the kids’ scraps.

It’s fine to have a cake for candles, but hand out individual cupcakes. It’s not at all unusual. I once went to a party where the ‘cake’ was just a polystyrene prop covered in fondant purely for singing happy birthday. 😂 That was weird.

@TickingAlongNicely Thank you. Relatively small party - 12ish kids. How many extra would you prepare for?

@mindutopia Perfect, thanks. I’m happy to pay for drinks and snacks etc, I just didn’t know how was best to go about it 😊
😂 polystyrene prop cake sounds like a huge effort just to sing a song 🙈

Don't overthink it! At a soft play party, as long as the kids are fed and watered and have a play, all's good!

But since you asked:

No need to do food for adults. At all.

It's nice if there's tea/coffee for parents to help themselves to but there's no expectation of this (in my experience).

Cake plan is fine. Do what you want, as long as there's a candle, a song and cake in some form, the kids will be happy.

Party bags are not expected these days at the parties I go to.

Re extra kids, sometimes parents bring siblings but you shouldn't be expected to provide or pay for them. That poster was just allowing you to mentally prepare!

Enjoy, the kids will have a great time.

No expectation of buying parents anything, I wouldn't even mention it. People will be expecting to buy their own coffee and to pick at the tons of leftover lunch. If extra children arrive they should be paying for them. There are often siblings at class parties at soft play but everyone knows that have to be paid for separately.

Is it bad form still to have a “proper cake” if it’s not being cut?
Not bad form exactly but a bit weird looking. When are you planning to cut that cake if not at the party?

I think providing the first drink is decent.

The cake thing is a little odd but not terrible. Why don't you just make a vegan/gluten free cake, or do sliced cake for everyone and something else for the dietary requirement kids? Seems a bit odd not to serve the proper cake just for the sake of a couple of kids.

Totally disagree about party bags. Not yet been to a party without them and my kids love them.

Cake plan is fine, I often give out cupcakes as the party dessert after we've sang happy birthday etc with the main. I then take the main cake home.

I would normally buy the parents drinks and the soft plays I have used in the past have put jugs of water or squash out on the table too. You probs won't need to feed parent at that time but in the past I have brough a couple of boxes of biscuits and out them on the tables (with the soft plays permission)

I think party bags will be expected, I normally do a paper bag filled with stickers, sweets, stationery and those random party bag bits you get in the party sections of shops.

All the party's I've done for my DD have included 2 people turning up with siblings that I've just added onto the party.

Going against the grain here re cake - I think it would be rude and give the impression the kids at the party aren't worthy of it. Instead make extra cupcakes, put them close together and let your child blow out candles on them, or just one of them. Then take the extra cupcakes home to scoff, and no one will know you've put others in the party bags already. Or make a cake thats suitable for all.

Oh, and party bags are considered compulsory by my kids, as they've never been to a party without them.

Party bags are essential as they are the universal signal that it's time to go home!

I agree that party bags are the sign to go home. But sweet cones are fine in place of party bags and often work out cheaper. IME parents will expect to buy their own drink.

Thanks all 😊 I just figured having individual boxed cupcakes would be easier and less messy than dealing with portioning up a cake during the party/wrapping it for the bags. Plus it meant that allergies would be dealt with in advance rather than having to think about it much on the day 🙈
Just to clarify - the “main cake” will be a small homemade/supermarket (depending what I have time for lol) thing that family at home would eat. I’m not planning on ordering a fancy big cake and then not giving anyone any 😅

Definitely had intended doing party bags 👍🏻